American Idol Rewind

Top 8 – The Baby Photo Episode.
Weird Bald Guy in the audience? WTF? KGB?

Really solid episode tonight. Performances spanned the range. No corny guest artist. Ryan was on. Even the judges managed to hold up their end of the bargain and not ruin it for everyone. Though I wish it were 90 minutes - the songs and arrangements felt rushed.

Based on what I’ve seen so far this season, I’d like to look into my crystal ball and introduce my predictions for what we can expect from these people 5 years from now.

Danny – Highest paid wedding singer in the Midwest. His father is his manager.
Kris – Bought a sailboat. Spends his days collecting shells off of Catalina Island.
Lil – Mom. PTA. Small business owner with her own fashion line for women called Junk²
Anoop – Radiology Residency in Chapel Hill.
Scott – Plays piano in the backup band on American Idol Season 13.
Allison – Huge star. Multi-platinum albums – but as the runner-up on American Idol.
Matt – Does people’s taxes.
Adam – starring in Sweeny Todd revival on Broadway.

Anyway - after the jump my thoughts on tonight's performances.
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Danny “My family is weird like a cult” Gokey – Stand By Me. Barf. I liked the movie better. The arrangement was a mess. I hope he loses so I don’t have to see his dad do the proud papa crying thing. That would be really really gross. I can totally tell his dad would be a weepy mess, and apparently would be surrounded by 300 offspring.

Kris – I wish they would stop talking about his shell. He doesn’t have a shell. It was cute the way his parents alienated the taxi cab vote. If he gets the boot this week, look for everyone next week to be pandering to the taxi vote. Also, his performance blew. And this performing in the crowd thing is tired already.

Lil – finally we learn that her name is just a case of bad spelling – Killer B2 hated that she danced just like Tina Turner. Junk in the Trunk. Junk in the Trunk. What the hell with Paula throwing Ricky and the band under the bus. This was painful to watch – and the judging hurt even more.

Anoop hates his parents – and who can blame him. They are OLD! Plus he sings 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better than they do. His True Color is lime green. That sweater was hot! Like Mr. Rodgers on acid! Anyway – I really liked this performance and give him big time credit for continuing to stick it to us when we’ve convinced ourselves he can’t.

Scott – As though he isn’t creepy enough we have to learn about his childhood. Ugh. Strumming an out of tune electric guitar (remember Scott…artistry) was the Crystal Pepsi of the night. For the record – his sense of humor is not infectious, unless Paula means it in the Sinus Infection sense. Like something you don’t want.

Allison - This girl never misses a note. I’m not a singer, or a person who sings, or a person who knows anything about singing – but when this girl sings it just sounds right. I wonder what she would look like with dark hair? That red hair is really distracting me.

Matt – Justin Timberlake called. He wants his hat and scruffy face back. I don’t like the fact that KillerB2 was squealing with joy/lust just like Kara and Paula. I hope this guy gets voted off. I’m not in this competition, but all of a sudden I feel like I’m in a competition.

Adam – One more night of maintaining that delicate balance of looking really creepy but coming across as totally likeable (not to mention talented).