Manolo Needs To Work On His Photoshop Skills

Hey DullerBiatch - I do see that you are a pro…at sucking…...

P.S.- Your comments are way off the mark. I am still cool. Even on my worst day, you are no match for me. Darryl Strawberry was an average baseball player especially when he wasn't on crack. Landing on the moon was done in a sound stage in New Mexico and mastadons which are actually spelled mastOdons are not that fuzzy...

Evil Makes A Mid-Year Resolution

Evil

Need to be friends with more famous and influential people. So I can hang with Julia Allison and other beautiful people. Will be great times. And the second that happens, I am ditching the likes of Xtian and KenTak3 as friends. Who needs them? But I'll most likely keep Mr. Shoulders. By comparison, he makes me look good. I still need that.

NBC, ABC, CBS, The Hose

Evil
Check out The Hose's traffic for the last 13 months. We're getting big time! (Although I wish we could get Page Rank 4, like here.to.here. They must be really big time.)

Response to "Stale Crackers"

Evil
(In response to "Stale Crackers")

if i were the typical immature, insensitive male friend, i would response to xtian's post with something along the lines of: "whoa, what's up with that post, xtian? is it that time of the month? are you depressed because you feel like your fallopian tubes are shriveling up?"

but i am indeed not that type of person, so here's what i really have to say in response to xtian's "stale crackers" post...

dude, it was only two years ago that you almost witnessed orgy's death by weed. that means two short years from now, your life might be totally different. you know... marry a white girl (because you are self-hating), making major bank even though you dont need to because your new wife will have a crapload of family money. and who knows, you might even have a "little big head" in the oven. as in a bun in the oven, not that you would put a kid in a real oven.

put yourself together, xtian. at least you're not mister shoulders!

btw- anyone who's interested, meet xtian and me at this rooftop happy hour on july 17th. watch me demonstrate my techniques in being a horrible wing man.

Huge Intl Fan Following?

Evil

I'm at an internet cafe in Cambodia right now. I just set the default homepage on this computer to be The Hose!!! Will we have a huge international fan following in the near future??!!

At Last!

Evil

Even though my family is crazy and super stressful to be around sometimes, at least one good thing came out of Chinese New Year: As part of going back to Queens to see them, I also got to drop into a Best Buy in Queens. And guess what?! They had Wii controllers in stock! Woo! It's been impossible to find any supply in any of the Manhanttan stores or even online (except on Ebay where they rape you in exchange for the controllers). Now I have 4 full sets of controllers. Now all I need is 3 friends. That'll be the toughest find.

Yo, What Up Bitches?

Evil

Hey, happy lunar new year, y'all. Also, happy valentine's day. I haven't heard much from KenTak3. I wonder if he did anything special for Mamacita and/or Bruno. Or if his emotion chip is still on backorder. If you think getting hold of a Nintendo Wii is hard... Anyway. Mr. Shoulders has been quiet lately. I haven't ridden in this Porsche yet! Although at this point, there's probably already too much DNA all over the seats for me to go in there without a hazmat suit. Evil Twin #2 said she was coming over next week to check out my apartment (at the recommendation of KenTak3, who was apparently giving my bathroom fixtures a really hard look). I doubt Evil Twin #2 will actually come though. What I think she'll actually do is call me from someone else's apartment and tell me how nice that other apartment is. Lastly, Mr. and Mrs. Balls is in town this weekend! Try to catch them if you can. (Or, if you're like me, you'll just say, "Meet you at 11pm? Hah!")

Genius!

Evil

Way, way back in the day, I was a fledgling student of journalism. I don't remember much from those days (or for that matter, last week), but I do still appreciate a well-written article.

I just read this feature article, which has a killer lead.

Am I Famous?

Evil

Check out these screenshots from the Firefox site. Recognize one of those email addresses? Am I famous?

Running, running

Evil

Inspired by Evil Twin #2's recent ass kicking of the Boston Marathon ("Oh, we've passed Heartbreak Hill? I didn't even notice."), I went for a short run in the park after work today. Just did the inner 4, but it felt nice to stretch the legs a bit.

On an unrelated note, I still have about 10 Vicodin pills left. Can't wait for this weekend! Hahaha.

Is It Something In The Air?

Evil

I don't know whether it's the warmer weather coming around or what, but I've been in a good mood lately.

Feeling Bad, But Feeling Good

Evil

Ran 6 miles today... pretty good result, seeing as I knew my legs were feeling tired within the first quarter mile. Running out doors, which I did today, makes a big difference. As the weather gets better, so too does the people watching!

Money Found

Evil

I have this jacket that I don't wear very much. But I wore it today and I just found a 20 dollar bill in the left outside pocket. The bill was folded once along the long edge and then another time along the short edge. It was done very neatly and the bill was crisp to start with. How did this money get into my pocket? I need to get to the bottom of this.

Rolling in Dough!

In just the past two days, my net worth has gone up by $45 and I owe it all to craigslist. Yesterady, I sold 3 stupid Central Park framed photos for $20. Today, I sold an Apple Mouse that I don't use anymore for $25. Wooo!

I actually have one more item posted on craigslist. It's a barter: I'm trying to trade 3 under-bed storage boxes for a 6 pack of beer. Someone emailed me for details, but that punk never followed up on my response! Do any of you guys need 3 under-bed boxes? Cuz I sure as heck need some beer.

Evil

I am feeling like a champ! WOOOOO!

Evil

TOUGHENING UP, FOR ONCE

I spent this past Sunday lounging on my couch, I like do on most Sundays. I lounge in such a way as to suggest that there's no muscle mass in my body whatsoever. When I lounge, I am shapeless. I am structureless. There is nothing to sustain the weight of my head. Such is the state of my physical being.

On this particular Sunday, I watched the NYC Marathon on TV. Some British chick with a crazy bobbing head won on the women's side. On the men's side, some American dude was in contention and I was rooting for him not because he was American per se, but because he had these cool ass knee-high socks. I gotta get me some of those!

Watching the marathon got me thinking... it's time to toughen up! Yes, my friends. You are indeed thinking what I'm thinking:

XTIAN and Jon-El, you two are signing up for the 2005 NYC Marathon. You have exactly 1 year (umm, minus a couple of days). Start training. Just to set the example of toughness for you two, I will do it too. In fact, I started training as of Sunday night! Ran 0.25 miles on the treadmill and lemme tell you, I WAS SPENT! But last night, I did a full 1.0 mile. That's a 4x improvement!!! Let me take a moment to flex. WOOO!

Evil

Today was a big day for me. I've been waiting for this day for years. Literally. Ladies, gentlemen, friends, and Mr. Shoulders... I am happy to announce that today, I received my renewed passport in the mail. (For some history, see the "FIASCO" post earlier this month.)

My passport has been expired since 1998, so a few years ago, when XTIAN, KenTak3, and Mr. Shoulders went to Montreal, I had to bail. I missed out on seeing Mr. Shoulders pay $30 (Canadian!) to punch a hooker in the stomach. But then again, I bet that's not really too different from seeing Mr. Shoulders pay $30 USD to punch a hooker in the stomach.

Anyway, I just wanted to announce that I am officially good to travel, which is handy, because me and The Future Mrs. Evil are scoping out Bali for our honeymoon.