Catjjy and Sparks Caught Ridin’ Dirty

Yesterday started out just like any other perfect day in our perfect lives. Catjjy and I were taking The Cha out to Muir Beach for some fun in the sun, with a pop by an ancient pub for some beers and tasty lunch. Just as we hopped on the freeway, a state Highway Patrol officer starts jockin’ us. He pulls up right beside me and stares me down. He drifts back behind us and rides my bumper. He rolls up on Catjjy’s side to check her out. Then falls back again. After 5 miles of this he finally flashes his lights and pulls us over.

We were going the speed limit the entire time. Our tags are up to date. Seatbelts on. Not using a cell phone. We had no idea why we're being pulled over. Turns out, our front windows are tinted too dark. We are instructed to remove the tint, and issued a citation that becomes a ticket if we don’t get it taken care of in 30 days.

(not actually our car, but nearly identical)

This seems like the kind of thing that happens to Asian street racers and Cholo gangstas with tricked out Impallas. I bought this car new, right off the lot. No after-market stuff at all. Who knew GM would sell you a car that was not street legal? Could this be part of their problem? (In fairness to GM, we bought the car in a different state, which presumably has different tint laws).

I’m pretty ticked about the whole thing. As a white man, I’m often disadvantaged in life. Graduate schools are harder to get into, I never have the best dance moves at a wedding, and my basketball game is relegated to low-probability jump shots from outside the key. But one thing I do have going for me is the implicit trust of police officers. Suddenly cops are skulking around, trying to catch me ridin’ dirty, just like Chamillionaire. Boooo.

Sparks Goes to NYC

I spent four days and four nights in NYC last week. Here’s the detailed recap:

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Day 1 – Napped off my redeye sleepiness.

Night 1 – Had a drinking contest with xTian, Le Troisieme, and Our Black Friend. Pulled a respectable tie with Le Trois. Crushed xTian, who actually ordered water at one point. Stayed out past 3am for the first time since…well, since last time I was in NYC.

Day 2 – Fought and won a gallant struggle to prevent my stomach from leaping out of my mouth. Made it in to work at 4pm.

Day 3 – Spent a beautiful NYC Saturday visiting old friends, wandering the Upper West Side, and wondering why KB1 wasn’t returning my calls (ah yes, Ecuador).

Night 3 – Late night at a Koreatown karaoke bar, just days before the NYTimes deemed it cool.

Day 4 – Became a Godfather! Tried to meet up with xTian, who informed me at 4pm that he was too hung over to consider meeting me. Went to a secret cocktail lounge speakeasy that THE VERY NEXT DAY appeared in a NYTimes article about secret cocktail lounge speakeasies.

Not a bad trip, all in all. A few general observations:

1. This is the first time I’ve felt generationally older than most of the people roaming the streets in Manhattan. Everyone is in their mid-20’s, just like Catjjy and I were when we lived there.

2. I spent quality walk-around time in probably 10 distinct neighborhoods. The demographics in every neighborhood were nearly identical: white and Asian people in their mid 20’s. But the styles changed at every subway stop. Columbia was all college gear and Urban Outfitters. UWS was Gap/BR. UES was swimming in Lilly Pulitzer. K-town was keeping LV and Gucci in business. The LES was a large-format American Apparel ad. It was just like The Warriors.

3. I didn’t see Evil once. Hadn’t realized he was back from China. This is all xTian’s fault, since he is the only person who knew we were both in town.

4. NYC doesn’t feel as economically depressed as I thought it would, but I was still able to go do pretty much whatever I wanted to do on short notice.

5. The trip would have been much more fun with Catjjy and The Cha.

6. I probably saw more human beings in four days than I have in the last six months combined. NYC has an incredible energy to it that even other major cities, like San Francisco, cannot match.

7. I used to live in NYC and still love it, but I sure was happy to come home to the Bay Area.

The Hosecast: Episode 6 and 7 - The Return of Evil

EVIL IS BACK (!) and the Hosecast has him here for a double dip.

Listen to Part 1 here. Evil tells xTian all about China, the underbelly of economic hyper expansion and basket jobs.

In Part 2 xTian and Evil go over the changes to the Hose since Evil went off the grid. Evil unable to help himself picks a fight with a fan favorite Catjjy, explains why Michelle Obama is not sexy, and clears up the entire Marisa Tomei issue once and for all.

Part 2 is a doozy - A listener's guide is available after the jump
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Evil and xTian realize that it was Catjjy who started this whole attainable business with regards to Marisa Tomei. They find the proof here.

How sexy is Michelle Obama exactly? Evil and xTian had strong opinions here. Recognizing there was no competition for her in the "First Ladies" bucket. They guys moved her to a new one - female ESPN personalities - just to see where she would fall.

Where would you stack her up against Pam Oliver (=sex), Hannah Storm, Suzy Kolber, Collen Dominguez and Michelle Tafoya?

In other news, I was listening to Adam Carolla's podcast today, and they can't get Skype to work clean either! Big ups to our IT Staff.

Apologies for not getting one in last week, between the Memorial Day holiday and the Bump's flakiness I was not able to get one up.

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The Hosecast: Episode 5 - While Sparks is Away, Catjjy will Play - or at least watch The Bachelorette

The Hosecast welcomes Catjjy to talk about some reality TV. We picked the Bachelorette and had surprisingly strong opinions. This is a long one, but we had fun.

Click here to launch the player.

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Catjjy is totally on point btw, she should probably take over hosting duties at some point.

Staff Announcements

I got a few quick announcements for today Tuesday, March 10, 2009

First, let's welcome Catjjy as a new contributor! As you will all agree, I think Catjjy brings a lot to the table. Her perspective is unique to the Hose and a welcome addition

Second, after a very prolonged negotiating process, we have signed Rocky! Rocky has joined with the dual title of Contributing Editor/Official Mascot. It was a prolonged negotiation and Evil and I were working round the clock to lock this up. Even all our work required some divine intervention. Basically, he lost a ton of money on Columbia's upset of Princeton last Friday. Regardless the reason, we think Rocky will fit right in. For a long time now, Evil and I have been talking about how we need more of a canine perspective on the Hose. Rocky can really help here.

Lastly, Manolo is still fired. We won't be going down that road again.

Here is a photo of our new contributing editor hard at work editing my overwrought movie review. Our investment is already paying off.