Sad

Evil


This is me circa 2nd grade. I led a joyless childhood. Look at those empty eyes.

Sad State Of Affairs For the Chinese

Evil

Just checked The Hose's NCAA pool... YIKES! I finished dead last. Catjjy finished second to last. The Chinese did not fair very well, to say the least. KenTak3, as always, has to show off that he's better than everyone else, taking #1 overall. The Koreans (some girl named I***e and ET#1) were very middle of the road, finishing 5th and 6th respectively.

Sigh... Evil fails yet again.

Hmmm...

Evil

Was just IM'ing with Xtian, who told me that R told him that she's dating her ex again. No biggie. People like to tell Xtian things and when appropriate, he relays the news to me. Xtian is a good friend that way.

You know what news would have been really crushing? If Xtian had told me that Snaggles has found a good boyfriend that she is really happy with. Boooo!

The State Of My Game

Evil

Man, I can't make anything happen with any girl right now. Nothing. No game. What game I used to have has completely left me.

If I were playing basketball, I'd be dribbling the ball off of my foot. If I were playing baseball, my only hope of getting to first base would be getting hit by the pitch. If I were playing football, I'd be cut before the end of training camp. If I were playing hockey, the puck would hit me smack in the mouth and I'd get sent off for stitches.

If scouts came to watch my game, they wouldn't say that I'm a five-tool player. Right now, I'm a zero-tool player. The ref keeps calling penalties on me. The ump keeps punching me out. The ref just T'd me up. Damn, I just got sent to the penalty box! Yellow card? Red card? I keep getting them and I don't even know what they are.

I used to be a player. I used to be a contender. Now what?

(Feeling sorry for myself. That's what.)

Poll Results - I am Turtle

You guys think I should be turtle to Evil's "Vince". I'm ok being the funny comic relief. That suits me well. I'm a bit tall, but whatever...My question is, Is Evil good looking enough to be Vince? I think not. Further, somehow, Evil has even less charisma than Adrian Grenier. I know, I know, its hard to do but Evil does it!!

I have nothing to say to the deviants who think I would be good at smelling like baby powder in a bikini and high heels

Successfully Self-Defeating

Evil

I ran 6 miles with Evil Twin #2 yesterday. I haven't done 6 miles in probably a year. Big win! Right? Well, yes -- completing the run was a big win. But what I did afterwards was not. Here's the sequence of events:

- Run 6 miles
- Shower
- Eat a giant plate of pasta
- Food coma... pass out on couch for 3 hours
- Wake up, drink two glasses of wine
- Go grocery shopping
- Make and eat 4 burgers

Who eats 4 burgers in one sitting?! Apparently, me. :(

(Rare) Moment of Vulnerability

Evil

it was relatively late in the evening. i was online, doing some work-related emails. and xtian IMs me. a good 80% of our IM conversations are basically:

"woooooooooooo!"

but in a rare moment of vulnerability, i asked xtian via IM, what will happen to me once he has a steady, caring girlfriend? where does that leave me? so sad.

Is My Wife Mad At Me?

Evil

Slept on my couch the last two nights and will likely sleep on my couch again tonight.

Evil Hopes His Luck Improves

Evil

Friday morning. I was glad to be headed home. Not that the California weather wasn't great, but it always feels like to be headed home, right? 12:15pm flight. I was sitting at the terminal and at about 12:10pm, the woman gets on the speaker and says that we got pushed back to 2:15pm. Two hour delay! Argh. I pull out my laptop and wireless card and spend the next hour tooling around on IM. I spend the following hour drinking at the airport bar. 2:15pm comes and we're actually on our way. Going home! Wooo!

Somewhere over Michigan, the pilot comes on and says that we've been re-routed. Instead of flying in from the north (through Canadian airspace), we need to take a longer route... down to Virginia and then back up. This will add an hour an a half to our flight. Booo!

Once we actually get to the Virginia area, the pilot comes on again and says that JFK is closed due to some storms in the area. He also announces that the plane is out of fuel. Booo! So we make an emergency landing in Atlantic City. It takes about 45 minutes to re-fuel the plane and then we wait another hour or so for the storm to blow out of JFK.

All in all, I got home at 3am Saturday morning.

Got out of bed at 10am Satuday. Respectable, right? I was running some errands and while at the bank, I dropped my iPhone and completely broke the glass. Booo!


What now?

Evil's Feeling A Little Down Today

Evil

Tired. Got in to work at 6:30am today. Hit the wall by about 9am. Want to go home. In CA this week.

Me

Evil

Wishful Thinking

Evil



i just ordered 4 new running shirts from road runner sports. grand total came to $135.97. i dont even run anymore!!! why do i insist on lying to myself? why? someone help me.

Memorial Day Plans

Evil

This is what happens when you don't have any friends. You end up with no plans for the long Memorial Day weekend. If anyone wants to reach me, you can find me in my apartment. I'll be busy moping, drinking myself into a hole, watching DVDs non-stop, surfing the internet for bomb-making tips, IMing with people I don't know that well, trying in vain (yet again) to write that most awesomest craigslist post that finally makes it onto the "best of" craigslist section, watching the Yankees lose, avoiding phone calls from my mom, contemplating why no girl wants to date me, eating pizza (large, please!), micro-managing my fantasy baseball team, going to the gym but not really working out that hard, sitting in starbucks and looking sad, trying to fix my broken vacuum cleaner, berating myself of my shortcomings ala Mr. Shoulders, failing to get out of bed before 11:30am, and generally wondering. Wondering about what? I don't really know.

Nor'easter Update

Evil

Half of the upper west side is now washed away by the Nor'easter. The downpour is also drenching my spirits.

I'm Home

Evil

I'm back now! Thanks to everyone who sent flowers and other gifts and various "I Miss You, Eviltom!" cards to my apartment. My doorman said he could barely keep up with all the deliveries coming in. You are all too much!

I just realized that I have 3 full weeks worth of DVR'd shows to catch up on. Better get hoppin'! If you don't hear from me for about 3 weeks, you know why.

The Look of Sheer Disappointment

Evil


In the above photo, the gifter is clearly very pleased with the gift that he selected. It's a little lab coat and toy stethescope. The gifter is pointing to the custom embroidery, which reads "Jason" (the giftee's name). The giftee, who's dad is a doctor, is clearly not as pleased as the gifter. In fact, the thought going through his mind? "My uncle, the gifter, is an asshole."

Life Update

Evil

I didn't leave my apartment all of yesterday, even though the sun was shining and it looked from my window like people were having a good time outside. I think it spend at least 80% of yesterday lying down, whether it was sleeping, the 2 naps, or just on the couch watching TV.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Guy

Evil



Today, especially. (But at least I'm not alone, according to this article.)

I've Got The Blues

Evil

... the furniture shopping blues, that is. Why is it so hard to find a couch that's not an ugly color and not an ugly style? Sheesh! I've seen at least 100 couches in about 6 different stores and nothing is working. Actually, a couple were nice, but they were way too big to fit through my apartment door. And I can't buy other furniture before finalizing on a couch, which even if I bought today, would probably take 6 - 8 weeks to manufacture and deliver. At this rate, I'll never have any furniture. Except for the huge bed of cedar shavings I keep in the corner of my room. Cedar is great. I just pee on it any time I want.

Hi People

Evil

- Floyd Landis is innocent. The thing they're trying to do to him is a travesty.

- Big Head and I had burgers and beer together a couple of days ago.

- What's with all the flash floods in NYC this summer? Is the end of the world near?

- Why are Manolor's posts so mysterious? (BTW Manolo, it's not surprising that a girl wouldn't notice if you kissed her. I've heard that girls don't even notice when you penetrate.)

- I'm so chubby now that doing ordinary things is more difficult. For example, tying my shoelaces.

- I've recently noticed that I'm smelly. It's disturbing.