Mad Men Episode 13: Shut the Door, Have a Seat

It all comes to a head in a way we were sort of anticipating but in a way more fun manner than we could have ever hoped for.

Trudy rocks! Betty sucks! and Joan! More Joan!

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Before I get to fun; let's get some perfunctory stuff out of the way. Betty wants to divorce Don and is willing to relocate to Nevada with Henry Francis to make this happen. Don is all like "whatever" then goes nuts when Roger tells him that there is someone named Henry Francis in the mix then he comes about two inches away from beating her before he backs down. Why, you ask? We'll get to that in a minute.

Conrad Hilton summons Don. He tells him that McCann has bought PPL and since Connie was only dealing with SC as an alternative to his primary ad firm (McCann) this pretty much terminates their relationship. Don gets a little snippy and Connie goes all papa bear on him asking him if he is a whiner or a winner - Dick or Don? And then they have sex! No they don't, because Connie is his dad not his boyfriend. I have been confusing this relationship all season. What does that say about me?

This sends Don into a time vortex, where he revisits a memory of his old man quitting a farm collective that is getting screwed. Don resolves to be a winner and runs to Bertram!(?). Bert agrees to try to buy back SC from the Brits. Bert also papa bears Don and demands that he man up and apologize to Roger so he can join their conspiracy. Roger makes Don eat it till he admits that he needs Roger's client management skills, then he gives him some papa bear advice! (Somebody's no where near as a big a hobo as he thinks).

Finally, they approach Pryce with a proposal to buy the firm. He laughs them off, but only sort of, because really he likes these guys way better than he likes St. Johns and the rest of those uppity buggers back in England. Don has another flashback where his father finally relents and takes very little for his crops. Of course on his way to Chicago to get screwed he gets kicked in the head by his horse and dies! Don ain't going out like that. Eat it y'all. When Pryce finds out that St. John is packing him off to McCann as well, he does all the principals the favor of firing them all in exchange for partnership in their new firm.

The rest of the episode is the world's greatest heist movie. Can the fearsome foursome get everyone they want and enough clients to start a business before the Brits can cabosh the whole thing? Of course! Pryce calls a carpeting cleaning holiday on Friday December 13, 1963 so they can get rid of everyone. He then fires the three principals after close of business London time giving them the weekend to run out the back door with everything not nailed down to the floor and anyone who has bothered to innovate anything in the last three seasons.

Peggy - Don assume Peggy will come and she calls BS. She makes him eat it till he admits that she is (1) Good (2) Not simply an extension of his own pathos (3) a big girl now. Hey, is Don building a new family?

Peter - Peter is a total goon and no one likes him but Don is forced to admit to his face that Peter is in some ways more creative (aeronautics, the black market, teens) than the rest of them and if he can show up with 8MM in billings by Sunday he's in! As a partner! I'm glad Peter gets to stay. In my mind, Peter is one of the best developed characters on TV. As an Angel fan, I'm glad Vincent Kartherias is doing so well.

Trudy - Peter is only tolerable because Trudy keeps him on a short leash. When he tries to jerk Don and Roger around she takes control in a way that I, Roger and don all find hysterical. It's clear that Don and Roger would rather have Trudy around than either Peter or their own wives.

Harry - Harry is another innovator from the SC crowd, recognizing the television opportunity ahead of all others. When Bert propositions him he is at a loss about what to do. Evil Bert reappears and offers to stick him in a closet overnight if he doesn't accept. Harry starts grabbing boxes.

As much fun as recruiting this conspiracy is, these goons are useless unless the job calls for boozing, smoking or philandering. They want to steal everything but have no idea where anything is. Roger, recognizing he has both a boner and a need, summons Joan. Joan knows exactly what to do and arrives with movers and a working knowledge of everything they need to take.

By Monday, they are up and running in the Pierre Hotel having stolen about 40MM in annual billings. Don agrees to let Betty go because he no longer needs her. He has lived up to his Hobo Code and walked out of an unappealing situation but he managed to do so while building a new family, one he seems capable of communicating with. That's real growth! Nice job, Don!

This almost felt like a series finale in a lot of ways. I mean Don's arc in my mind has found its logical conclusion. Where do we go from here? A spin off about about a sassy black lady raising two white kids with horrible lisps? Maybe...

The Hosecast Episode 15: DZB and Relationships

DZB, star of everyone's favorite "Ask xTian", stops by gives us a relationship update and preview the season finale of Mad Men

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Mad Men Episode 12: The Grown Ups

Normally, watching people watch TV is decidedly un-compelling.

I know this. I recorded myself watching TV once and I could not imagine anything less interesting. This week, Mad Men decided to subject us to an hour of people watching TV.
More...Everyone is cold, then everyone is hot. The significance of this escapes me. Clearly, its significant. I think it was cold because that was most appropriate for the B plot of the week, where Campbell loses out in the head of accounts race to Ken. Then it suddenly gets very hot. Then Kennedy is shot in Dallas.

So, when you talk to people about the Kennedy assassination, they talk about Camelot and the loss of innocence. People have managed to turn into some larger statement about when America was great and suddenly started to grow up and become what it is now (something people sort of equate with something less than great).

Mad Men has, for the past three seasons, basically disagreed with this hypothesis. There was nothing particularly great or wonderful about late 50s/early 60s America. People were still the same self involved, petty weak people they are now. They were just better at hiding their flaws in a some sort of waspy, well mannered veneer.


I thought about this as I watched several characters on Mad Men use the Kennedy tragedy to their own ends. Jane uses it as a ploy to be a total brat at Roger's daughter's wedding. Betty uses it as an excuse to see the politician and build up the resolve to tell Don she no longer loves him. Duck uses it to bed Peggy. Roger uses it as another excuse to speak to Joan. Peggy's room mate used it as an excuse to host a party. Finally, and most demonstrably, Campbell uses it to turn Trudy against SterlingCooper.

So basically, none of them actually cared much about the Kennedy assassination at all. They just used it as a backdrop for their own pathology. Wild. People have been talking about how Weiner and Co. would handle the Kennedy assassination. I must say, I did not think it would be like this.

Of course, now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. These small people, they get smaller every week.

Very demure lead in to a big season finale...will Betty leave Don? Will Peter leave SterlingCooper? Will Roger run to Joan? Will Peggy run to Duck? What about the Brits? What about...everything?

Mad Men Episode 11: The Gypsy and the Hobo

The status quo is irrevocably flipped on its ear!

Roger meet his season's quota of witty one liners in one scene!

Campbell and Cosgrove are still nowhere to be seen, put out an APB!

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A former client who sells horse meat as dog food shows up and asks SC for help. Apparently, she broke Roger's heart 25 years. Now she's back and in addition to procuring advertising services she is also looking to get the, heretofore unseen, Sterling. She's all like "let's roll in the hay" and Roger is all like "nah, you dumped me". Then she's all like "we are like the pair in Casablanca". Roger is all like "No way, she left him for someone awesome, you left me for a chump". Finally, she's like "come on, give me the high hard one". Roger ends it with "I got a 25 year old hottie at home, its awesome. peace" AND SCENE (Its hilarious when acted out by John Flattery. Nice job JF!)

Still Roger is not all stone cold. Joan calls him and asks for help with a job. Roger flirts, flirts some more, and finally full on sleazes. She is polite and to the point. Roger clearly sort of loves her. After his Heisman of the horse meat queenm he sets out to help Joanie out. Clearly that will bite him in the ass later.

On the home front, Joan's perfect life is now completely undone. Dr. DateRape can't seem to sell himself as a psychiatrist and just wants to cut dudes up. I debated changing his name from Dr. DateRape to Dr. WoahIsMe because he is so pathetic. Finally, he explains to Joan that she has no idea what its like to do everything correctly and still not get what you want. Right, Joan has no idea what he's talking about. One second she thinks she is marrying Dr. Awesome the next minute he is a failure/date rapist/mega d*uche. She is so incensed by this self absorption she has not choice but to whack him with a vase. He must have gotten a concussion or something because the next thing you know he has enlisted as a doctor in the army.

Don packs off Betty and the kids to sort out Gene’s estate. Betty’s brother shows up to play the part of the chump and remind everyone why Betty is so attracted to Don’s take charge style. There is some hilarity when Betty closes the door to discuss Don’s hidden past with the family attorney. Aside form the late 50s gender politics goofiness of the lawyer’s advice; we also get Betty’s brother banging on the door like an insolent child being left out of an important discussion. The writers must have decided that if they weren’t going to use Campbell in this episode the least they could do is channel his whininess through several other characters. HAH.

Don is the man. He is all about Hot4Teacher. He wants to take her to CT while Betty is away. They are set to go but Betty catches him when he tries to put together a bag for his trip. She confronts him then and there in the most forceful way possible. John Hamm plays Dick Whitman in a completely different way than he does Draper. Draper is in control, Whitman is emotional and weak. The physical difference is noticeable; he can barely light a cigarette. Don’s cigarette smoke also makes a break for it, no sass from that jackass this week.

Betty demands the truth and Don/Dick gives it. In rather harsh detail, Betty cornered him and got him to reveal every piece of his history - his mother the prostitute, his drunk father, his step mother, Uncle Mack and of course poor Adam. Learning that Draper actually blames himself for Adam’s death is new. I never considered it before, but I guess they have raised the specter of this guilt before when he has gone out of his way to help Sal, Peggy and even when he helped H4T’s brother. The desperation in his face as he admits to Betty that it was never obvious to him why she loved him at all was sort of compelling. I mean seriously, Don went from a man in complete control to a disheveled mess in about 30 seconds. AWESOME.

Betty’s strength is important here, child-goddess Betty would not have deserved the truth in Draper’s mind. Draper loves strong willed independent women, and Betty does not fit that mold, until now (?).

The entire conceit of this show is that Don Draper is a man who through sheer force of will, can maintain full control of every aspect of his life. So much so that he can will an entirely new persona into existence and an ideal life from out of nowhere. His life is the living embodiment of his work, perfect, inspiring and a complete fraud. This week that was all undone. The entire show is built around Don struggling to maintain this lie. Where do they go from here?

The episode ends with his son dressed as a hobo and his daughter as a gypsy, ready to trick or treat. Betty inexplicably decides to stand by her man, undermining her earlier strength. Or maybe there is a new status quo. They are now co-conspirators after all…

This episode was so awesome I thought of two completely different songs while I watched it. "Ask Me Anything" by the Strokes and "All Falls Down" by Kanye. For serious.

We Need To Butch Things Up a Bit

Mad Men Episode 10: The Color Blue

The Couch Commie still sucks but now even he realizes. Betty learns that Don’s whole life is a lie (but she’s dumb so she can’t piece it all together). Lane Price grows a heart. Hot4Teacher is a total looney tunes and Don remembers the “Hobo Code”.

The most action packed episode of the series. To make up for it the last 5 episodes of the season will probably contain 240 minutes of intense staring.

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Don is doing Hot4Teacher nightly and ever so rightly. Post Coital – they break down how silly little children can be and how one 8 year old asked Hot4Teacher how she knows that when she sees blue he is seeing the same blue. She says something sufficiently nutty about how she doesn’t but she was really moved by his ability to make her access such a question from her own memory and perception. Then she blew the 8 year old, kidding…maybe. Her brother then shows up and while Don's cigarette sees an embarrassing junkie and calls it like he sees it. H4T just sees her epileptic brother in trouble. Don wants nothing to do with the kid and breaks out till the tool blows town. Hot4Teacher follows him onto his commuter train to confront him. CREEPY!

Randomly, Don’s cigarette softens and “befriends” the kid based on his commitment to the hobo code, which apparently Don’s cigarette still subscribes even though his master has traded it in for a SterlingCooper binding contract (and signing bonus).

All this teacher banging puts the Draper household on edge. So much so that a simple errant phone call puts Don and Betty on the defensive with their paramours. Henry puts Betty in her place and Don confronts H4T on a train (still creepy) but not before his cigarette is all like “don’t call me at home b*tch”. Betty is so confused she finally accesses the drawer of secrets and discovers Don’s divorce papers, his deed to the house in California, two sets of dog tags and several Whitman family photos of depression era poverty and joyless childhoods. She doesn’t know what to make of it all but boy is she steamed! I assume she perceives that Don has been hiding a first marriage, but that’s because she does not have the benefit of three seasons of incredibly deliberate (if you are catjjy replace deliberate with plodding) plot development. She is so steamed that when its time to join the charade and play Betty Draper – MILF Queen of the Universe – she debates it for about 5 minute, considers confronting Don and ultimately gives up. I ALMOST pity you this week Betty. Nice job by, writers.

In office news, (What? They work?) the couch commie comes to grips with his own mediocrity. He thinks Peggy is more appreciated first because she is Don’s pet and second because she’s a woman. Peggy’s perception of her relationship with Don is pretty much entirely based on him recently telling her she is completely replaceable. Kingsly drinks till he forgets his genius idea and gets bailed out on the Western Union pitch by Peggy. He suddenly realizes he sucks and she is actually very good. Poor Kingsley joins the ranks of thousands of Princeton grads, embraces his mediocrity and skulks away, supposedly to drink more.

Lane Price, still totally aware of how disposable he is to the folks in Londontown, realizes he loves NY and his pals at SterlingCooper. Again the perceptions are at work here. His wife’s hatred of NY is based on its crassness. To Lane, obviously of more humble beginnings it is a place to reinvent himself, free of his apparently non Oxford pedigree. This and his overlords rather dismissive decision to sell SC rock his world. He tries his best to make friendly with both Don and Bert. Both of which seem to sorta work. Are we gearing up for a new CooperDraperPrice ad agency run by Joan, with Sal in charge of television?

Mercifully, Roger returns to his rightfully place, cracking jokes and having to put up with his aunt confusing his wife with his daughter.

The episode ends with a Scarface level ham-handed (not Hamm-handed) “The World is Yours” blimp scene. SterlingCooper, which really no longer exists except in the poor deluded minds of its employees, has a 40th Anniversary Celebration with the Brits (who could care less and only see this as a springboard to $$) pushing Roger (who hates Don) to recognize Don’s leadership (who is not at all Don and now several people in this room know it) and his wife’s loyalty and support (HAHA) in front of a bunch of clients who took turns storming out last week.


Prediction – Betty seemed completely non-pulsed by the large amount of cash in the drawer of secrets. She’s pretty, but she’s dumb – because homeboy is getting ready to bounce!

(Btw, image above- Last Supper Much?)

Mad Men Episode 9: Wee Small Hours

Betty is having dreams about some dude working her over. Don is suffering from severe insomnia, an issue he acquired so he could better service his looney tunes client. The upside is that he can now more easily bang other womenMore...
Betty cannot get her Italian freedom or Henry the sleezy politico out of her mind. She addresses this by taking on a completely chaste, but completely inappropriate, correspondence with Henry. This is clearly not Henry’s first goat rodeo. He takes the frivolous notes as a queue to happen upon Betty mid day. Third episode ever of this show, Betty was taken down two notches by Draper for allowing an air conditioning sales guy in her house mid day, meanwhile this dude just comes flaunting in, the hell? Sloppy, sloppy Betty. So sloppy that Carla catches them. Henry comes up with a stupid cover story about a fund raising cocktail party and Betty actually follows through on it. This fools Carla not at all. Having said that, it’s still 1963 so Carla knows better than to act like she knows what’s going on. Carla is all manner of awesome with her judging looks. They scream stuff like “Is this white lady serious? Who does she think she’s kidding?” This all comes to a very childish end of course. Henry blows off her fundrairser in an attempt to show Betty who’s boss. Betty, of course, shows up at his office and makes an awful scene, then realizes she is just signing up for another Don but in an older, less attractive body. She politely moves on.

Part of the reason Don is not sleeping is Connie. He making this worse by calling Don in the middle night and insisting on meeting with him. On paper, this is exactly the sort of gayness I have been anticipating between these two for weeks. In practicality, Connie is just a severe narcissist who thinks someone needs to be a witness to every drop of genius that crosses his mind. Don plays along, doing his best to manage his account. Connnie's rambling get Don's creative juices flowing. Connie appreciates the ego boost so much he calls Don his son, more so than his real son. Btw, this exact same thing happened to me. I responsible for client service to this old codger once and his son (on more than one occasion) called him asking him for money in my presence. His son was my age at the time (say 30) so it was really embarrassing. Anyway, all I ever did was help the old timer out. He really appreciated it and took me to a steak dinner when I moved on. He even let me drive his Lexus. He was a really nice guy, much unlike Connie. Anyway, Don builds an above average campaign based on this Connie’s crazy talk. Connie hates it claiming that Don ignored some random comment about the moon and storms out. Don’s cigarette makes a dramatic return and demands that Connie respects his smoldering hot genius, but in a subtle understated way. Don’s cigarette then convinces him that he needs a pick me up to remind himself exactly how awesome and in control he really is.

Cut to Don trolling for chicks in the dead of night. He goes back to the spot where he had previously seen Hot4Teacher jogging (before jogging btw, jogging was a creation of the 70s). Not finding her wandering around he happens upon her at home AND KNOCKS THAT DOWN. Hot4Teacher who, for all her hippy-ness, is just as f****ed up as Don makes a series of meta-comments of just how little Don is thinking this all through. What Hot4Teacher doesn’t know is that Betty has dropped the bar for hiding their issues to an all time low. So low that Don is free to bang the entire town of Ossning at the local Pathmark if he is so inclined. Don almost pleads the line “I want you. Doesn’t that mean anything to someone like you” Note to writers - I find this a little too on the nose. Don is very needy but also needs desperately to hide that (and everything else about him) in a thick shield of cool. So, please a little consistency next time.

The entire Connie withholding affection from Don dynamic is SO GAY that they have draw a parallel between this interaction and Sal’s interaction with Lucky Strike Jr. Sal is a totally awesome commercial director now and Lucky Strike Jr. needs Sal to direct him in some home movies. So much so that he gets a little drunk and FEELS SAL up. Sal feigns heterosexuality, poorly. LS Jr. is so offended he knocks down several more drinks and demands that Harry fire Sal. Harry pulls a chickensh*t move and does nothing, hoping the issue goes away. LS Jr. makes a big scene and storms out drawing the ire from a suddenly under-used Roger who in turn is wasted on a ‘dramatic’ scene with Don. BOO Roger Drama…BOO

Lastly, Carla quietly judges her way through a scene where Betty wonders if the US is just “not ready” for Civil Rights. Carla is now officially shooting both her and Don “you white people are just stupid” looks. This is going somewhere. Pumped about it.

Mad Men

I got distracted by the Jets on Monday night (that won't happen again this year) so in lieu of talking Mad Men (it was a good episode so thoughts will go up later in the week) I will share with you the following. Christina Hendricks (the bodacious Joan) got married this week. To this guy! For those of you who can't place this guy, he is the dude that tries to sell Zach Braff on an "amazing opportunity" in the movie Garden State.

This is shocking.

Mad Men Episode 8 - The Souvenir

This week Betty suddenly and inexplicably rocked.

Not to worry though, Peter more than makes up for the suckage quota
More... If there is a theme this week its kissing and no, I'm not joking.

First Betty's arc - Betty "makes a stand" with the hausfraus for greater Westchester County on the Pleasanton development proposal. Thanks to the influence of Henry the Gubernatorial aide. Creepy Henry kisses Betty. She does not reject his advances... much to my surprise. Last season's finale was the first time we saw this danger streak in Betty. I will be honest I attributed that to a fear that the world was ending. Given where she and Don are in their progression maybe she feels the same thing right now. Still she is somewhat triumphant and greats Don with a smile he finds surprising. Later, she insists she join Don on his business trip with Conrad Hilton to Rome. It's somewhat interesting to learn things about Betty here. As an Ossning housewife she is generally painted as a vapid occasionally childlike woman. In Rome, she is a new woman. She speaks servicable Italian, she understands how much a porter earns a week and an appropriate tip. She impresses Don. Me too. Nice job Betty. There is a rather sudden visible transformation mid trip where Betty suddenly looks very modern and Don looks downright dated. So much so, that two Italian sleezeballs hit on her and mock him in a bar. This is where things get interesting - they actually do some light role playing in the bar, acting as though he is picking her up for the first time. This is obviously, for Don's benefit. Who again is impressed and suddenly turned on. This is sort of important - I think its the first time in a very long time that Don sees Betty as his equal. Many of his trysts are with self possessed women. Much of his frustration with Betty is that she seems entirely dependent on him. Anyway it works and they are suddenly back in the throes of a passionate romance. The key part is that it does not go away. Upon returning home, Betty is still - I dunno - self actualized(?). She handles a Sally issue deftly and later gives her daughter an important life lesson on the importance of a first kiss. Betty has turned a corner.

Pete on the other hand, has no such luck. He sucks. Trudy goes away for the summer leaving Campbell the tragic bachelor. While throwing out the trash he comes across a distraught au par who has ruined her mistress's dress. Peter in what looks like a fit of manners offers to resolve the issue on her behalf. A quick trip to the department store and an assist from Joan (come back Joan!) resolves the issue pretty quickly. Peter tries to encourage some celebration, which our little fraulein wants nothing of. Peter gathers himself (gets drunk) and somewhat forces himself on her. Campbell, Campbell, Campbell you had me fooled. Of course, mega chump that he is, he allows his equally sleezy neighbor to chase him off and then basically dissolves when Trudy comes back from holiday. Peter, I know Don Draper and you sir are no Don Draper. Trudy bails him out of his guilt a little too easily for my liking. Trudy, go be Sal's beard - he would treat you better. Peter grow a pair...please, we saw that under all that childishness there was a woman in Betty, when are you going to man up?

More Joan, less Peter!

Does this make you happy? or sad?

Mad Men Season 3 Episode 7: Seven Twenty Three

The episode starts with 3 completely out of context shots. Peggy passed out in a hotel bed. Don on the floor of a much dingier hotel room and finally Betty lazily lounging on a huge chaise lounge chair.
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Don does what he does best; seduce men to trust everything he says implicitly without any proper reason. Connie Hilton acknowledges this is what is going on by using a metaphor where Don is a dalliance he is having while cheating on his main advertising firm. At some point, the whole thing looks like it will take a turn for the Brokeback, but then stops short. Connie seems more into boxing in Don than anything else - strange.

Don’s heart is not in his current work. So much so that he lazily comes on to Hot4Teacher and then acts dumb when he is denied. Get it together Don, at the very least lose the sunglasses; it will help highlight your deep penetrating gaze.

The victory with Hilton is short lived as the Bryce, Roger and Bert demand he sign an exclusive contract. Don, feeling the caged bird just won’t sing, wants no part of this.

Peggy, meanwhile, is still being wooed by Duck in more ways than one. She plays up to her boss a bit to see what that will get her. Don has no use for tests and tells her to grow up. In a huff, she meets Duck and orders a whiskey which leads Duck to make some comments about Don that are disturbing in retrospect. Soon, Duck quite verbally explains what he wants to do to her. Later in bed, as he woods up in reaction to the whiskey on her breadth, I realize that he is seducing her to get back at Don somehow and really he would rather be f*cking Don, but not in a pleasant way. Peggy at least, sees freedom in this relationship. No longer daddy’s little girl, she can forge her own path at Grey and bang the boss – finally maybe taking Joan’s advice. The bird sees an opening in her cage and is debating tasting freedom...

Betty redecorates the house, hoping Don will notice her. When that doesn’t work, she joins the Junior League hoping everyone will be jealous of her perfect life which she hates. They sort of do. She later tries to further make these old biddies sit on it by seducing the guy from the country club into helping her with some stupid Westchester cause. He is about as insistent as one can be about giving a married woman the high hard one in 1963 but Betty is not ready for full on action. She just wants the whiff of danger, because she’s twelve. He mentions she should buy that huge chaise lounge. In her mind this is the same as cheating so she has it delivered to her house and then feels herself up on it in the summer heat. A bird, realizing she is in a cage and trying to make the most of it?

Don boxed in at work and later (after a phone call from Roger to Betty) at home, does what he does best - he makes a run for it. He picks up some hippies, takes a Quaalude and gets rolled in a hotel room. This is just getting sad! But not before he has a vision where his dad goof on his grifter ways and his shiftless profession. This is the scene where Don runs. Right?

Wrong, Bert shines up his devil horns and reminds Don a few things. First, he reminds Don that he and Roger made him. Second, Bert points out that he knows enough to unmake him (or the Draper façade anyway). Draper relents and sizes himself up for his cage. He won’t accept Roger as a playmate any longer though. Finally, we see Bertram’s teeth. I like it, you might has well have blacked out the white of his eyes. Neat ending.

Mad Men Season 3 Episode 6: A Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency...

...and gets his foot hacked to pieces!!! BWAH!

The Brits are back! They are stopping by just to remind us just how disposable everyone is!

In other news, Connie also shows up to remind Don just how indispensable he is.
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Roger and Bert encourage Don. Telling him that the home office is very interested in his work and possibly suggesting more responsibilities in London. Bert also insists that Roger and Don play nice at a male salon. This is Sparks/xTian circa 1998 btw - suits and shaves. Except we didn't hate each other. Much unlike these two.

All this manual stimulation is for naught though. There is no promotion for Don at all. In fact the Brits have reorg in mind. They show up with a fancy new account man, a promotion for Rich Somer, more freedom for Don and a complete lack of Roger anywhere. Don is on some level delighted. Pryce also gets a one way ticket to Delhi and a stuffed serpent (symbolism much?) He takes takes it about as well as anyone would in 1963, which is not well at all. So Roger and Pryce are promptly shoved out a window in broad daylight. Its all very Cesare Borgia of them...

This of course does not stand.Smitty randomly takes a john deer lawn mower Ken received as a gift for a ride in the office and somehow the shiny new brit practically loses a foot! Holy crap. Is Smitty in the Armenian mob? That’s an Armenian mob move. Roger might be the lord of the Armenian mob because he finds the whole thing hysterical.

While the Armenian mob hit is in play, Don is off hanging out with his new bestie Conrad Hilton. Hilton (hearts) Don – such a man, so decisive but he clearly needs to break him, like one would a bucking bronco. Don is hip to this game and plays hard to get. Suddenly, it sinks in that everything Don does is a seduction. He is actively trying to seduce Connie. Connie looks like John Waters btw. I don’t know if Connie is being seduced or just playing along because he wants Don for his mind.

Lost in all the blood is that its Joan’s last day at SterlingCooper. Of course, this would be the case. Remember everyone is totally disposable. It is really too bad for her that Date-Rape Surgeon sucks at the second part and doesn’t have a job, so she needs to keep one even though she just quit. Joan is my favorite woman on the show. Why can’t she catch a break? The storyline we never explored but I really wish we had is the Don/Joan dynamic. We get a hint of in the hospital as a foot is getting reattached. I view these two as equals on the show, much more so than Betty who is basically a child. I suspect from their interaction that Don agrees. Why don’t I know their history? Clearly not the last of Joan, I wonder where she will show up again?

Just to confirm to everyone why we are here – Don hears from the Brits that the shiny new exec is done. He has in fact gotten the “boot” (bad dum pum). Pryce gets a stay of execution and Roger lives another day. I bet Connie’s offer is looking more and more attractive to a suddenly concerned Don.

The one place where Don is not disposable is at home, where he is subtly growing into a serviceable father. Betty remains an infuriating mediocre mother, but I just can't deal with her self involvement this week. It's clear that on some level he is trying to create his own Peggy/Joan in Sally. I can't wait to see where that goes.

Mad Men Season 3 Episode 5: The Fog

This week Sally is sad, Sally’s teacher is hard up, Don bonds with a security guard, Campbell discovers black people then bonds with one and Duck smarms his way back into everyone’s life in a turtle neck! HAH. Oh yeah, Betty has a fever dream about her Mom, Dad and Medgar Evers and gives birth.
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Don and Betty show up at school so Hot4Teacher can oogle Don and tell them that Sally is off the rails. Betty is put out because her Dad is dead and she is too busy not grieving and being pregnant to bother with her self involved daughter/competition. While Betty is in the restroom, Don’s hair pomade, standing in for cigarette smoke, flirts with Hot4Teacher.

Back at work, the Brits are yelling about paper and pencils. Don, fresh from his elementary school meetings, walks in late digests the topic and leaves. His cigarette mentioning that the whole thing is beneath him as they briskly part. Later in a one on one, Big Chief Brit tries to simultaneously make nice/have a pissing contest with Don. Don’s cigarette speechifies “Look, I’m creative. You need me. Go be an accountant somewhere else”, still the point is made.

Later, Campbell is depressed about his client list. He notes that his crappy TV manufacturer is overall flat but growing in inner cities. He wonders if there is money to be made with blacks. The Couch Commie is too busy with his pipe and his Marxist rhetoric (for real) to care. Ken shows up and talks about how his awesome clients are too busy buying him watches and taking him to Mets games to ask him for more work. Advertising is FUN! Peter, flustered, pouts to himself about needing to change the game.

Cut to hilarity in an early 60s boardroom as Peter tries to explain Jet Magazine to a very uninterested pair of white business executives. Rich Sommer is in the meeting to give the whole thing some credibility. None of his rational thought saves him from a classic Bert/Roger hand slap, though the annoying Big Chief Brit points out that Peter may have an interesting point.

A dejected Peter agrees to meet the Duck for lunch. Little does he know that Duck wants Peter and Peggy to come over as a package deal, assuming they are “together”. Peter storms out. Peggy listens and though clearly put off by Duck’s new found smarm, gets an idea.

Peter runs into Hollis the Elevator Operator and asks him about TV purchase. Hollis just wants him, and the couch commie and anyone else who ever thought he was the sole voice for blackness to go away. It doesn’t work, mostly because Peter is a tone deaf brat. Somehow, after giving Peter a little lecture, they bond a little. Who else smells spin off?

Hot4Teacher calls Draper and demands the full service (Draper then Pitino then Draper again) and Don is quick conversation with the cigarette of poor decisions away from knocking that down when Betty’s water breaks. He takes an IOU and rushes Betty to the hospital. Draper actually loses his cool a bit. Jarring, I know.

At the Hospital, a Mama Bear takes Betty into the delivery room and sends Don packing to wherever the gents sit and wait. I had a jarring memory here. Fantastic Four Annual 4 where Sue Storm gives birth to Franklin Richards and we spend the whole issue with The Thing, The Torch and Mr. Fantastic in the waiting room (till they have to go to the negative zone to get something that will keep the newborn Franklin from exploding). In the waiting room, Don meets a Security Guard with Red Label in his pocket. FRIEND! Don actually makes a joke or three and bonds with the nervous first time father to be. Don loves opening up to random fellows of blue collar background huh? Interesting, this actually reminded me of my first internship ever, every lunch I would play cards with the security guards. No one else seemed to notice I was there. I like Don.

While Don is making friends, Betty is going to looneytown. She has a few weird child like hallucinations then meets her parents who are cleaning up where Medgar Evers got shot. There is much lecturing and much pouting (guess who?) and finally her dad compares her to a housecat, something of great skill of which very little is expected. Ouch, she’s giving birth. Even I can cut her a little slack.

Back outside, Don’s friend drunkenly commits to be a better person. Don has already been shamed to admit he does not play ball with his son and is thinking back to his near bang of the teacher. Don’s cigarette quietly dismisses the drunken guard so they can quietly stew about their own limitations in peace.

Don does what he does best - rush back to hide out at work. Peggy will have none of this and inspired by Duck demands a raise. Don tells her to get bent. Peggy points out that he has everything, 3x more than then he needs. Don is already feeling like a mega-douche. Judgment from his prize pupil cements that this is dump on Don week.

Leaving the hospital he seems his friend again, who averts his eyes to mask his insecurity. If only you knew, plot device of the week, if only you knew. Back at home, Don is making some wonderful looking hash and warms up to his daughter in a way that he hardly ever seems to. Don is growing…I wonder how he reacts when Hot4Teacher returns next week?Sorry for the delay. I'll be better next week.

Mad Men : Season 3 Episode 4 - The Arrangements

This week the guys and gals of Mad Men decide to direct their existential angst towards the their respective relationships with their parents and, where applicable, their children.

We also get some hilarity with the JV squad and Jai Alai - "the sport of the future".
More...Papa Gene loves his grand kids, in particular his grand daughter. So much so in fact that he lets her drive the car. AWESOME! Unfortunately, they don't get into the car accident I predicted. Silly xTian, an ER scene is too over the top for this show. Scenes like that would just cost us important Draper drinking and smoking time.

Of course, Papa Gene is also keenly aware that he is losing it and decides to dump all his old people end of life planning on Betty - she takes it about as well as one would expect - as in not well at all. He takes the opportunity to call her a whimp, lament that he raised such weak children and goof on Betty about being with Don (what's wrong with Don? You take that back, you crotchety old coot!). He insists that he will not make that same mistake twice - which is why little Sally is driving a car and being encouraged to be whatever she wants in life; in pointed contrast to her mother, who sucks, just in case we did not know.

Papa Gene also remembers he has a grandson for 30 seconds and bequeaths to Bobby a helmet he took off a German Soldier he killed during the Great War (the first one natch, not the pansy ass second one that Don was involved in).

All this annoys Draper to no end. His cigarette smoke tells us what he's thinking - "I wish this old coot would go away and stop sneaking ice cream to my daughter and stop talking about how awesome shooting people is to my kid. Of course, if this old coot dies then my wife will be in hysterics for a month and I'll be left to tend to these mouth breathers all to myself, unless the black maid shows up again. What is Carla's schedule again? Does she only show up when we need to cover some casual racism in a plot line or someone to give Betty some lip?". (I think I got the cigarette monologue transcribed exactly. Let me know if I missed anything)

Of course the old coot dies and everyone acts exactly as they should - Bills shows up and contributes nothing, Betty acts dramatically put out by the whole thing and little Sally puts everyone in their place. This one scene telling us a lot - as Don basically looks Sally's way while his cigarette smoke explains that Sally "just needs to put up with her dingbat mother for a bit while she 'grieves' but of course Sally is right and Don is on her side". The cigarette smoke sure was chatty this week.

Don is way more comfortable at work, where he teaches his work children (Sal and Peggy) in his ongoing lecture series Inventing a perfect fiction of a personal life while being awesome at the advertising game. This week, Sal gets to direct a sexy young thing in a commercial in the least heterosexual way possible. Even his dim bulb wife, who I volunteer to f*ck btw, needed a fire extinguisher to get through her scene with him. The commercial is a disaster but Sal is a hit. Peggy is proved right about the "Bye Bye Birdie" thing not working on diet cola, as Don's look and his cigarette smoke explain. Peggy also decides to move to the CITY to complete her Draperesque transformation into the perfect person from nowhere (Casual aside - It is completely inobvious to people that I from NJ, this was not true 15 years ago. In fact people have no idea where I am from. This is exactly how I want it.). After some goofing from the boys, Joan helps her put out an ad that is likely to attract hot, trampy broads! One shows up! WOW! I can't wait till Draper shows this girl the Pitino at the Oak Room.

The comedy stylings of Peter Campbell never stop. This week he shows up with the dumbest, richest frat brother ever imagined for TV. Horace (Ho-Ho for short) thinks that Jai Alai is the wave of the future and has a big boy crush on someone named Pachi. He shows up to SterlingCooper demanding to turn over a bag of money in exchange for a high flying marketing plan that will overtake baseball. Pryce jumps at the chance and Draper gets to deliver the line of the night in the strangest reprimand I have ever seen anyone give their boss "I once saw a loaf of bread fall off a truck during the depression. That was more dignified than this". In the end they turn to Ho-Ho's dad who basically echoes the same sentiment Papa Gene had about betty earlier in the episode before telling Bert, Draper and Co that its time for his kid to learn a hard lesson as he laments his quiet failure as father.

Draper of course, has no time for such sentiment and the episode ends with his daughter reading "The Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire" and he putting all this father figure nonsense (and Gene's cot) away. The End.

I have not been rating these episodes but I think this is second strongest this season after the premiere. I generally agree with Sparks' criticism that the episode last week was plodding and am still wondering what the f the grass was about in episode 2.

Note: Just in case you are wondering why Jai Alai never took off in this country, Bill Simmons of ESPN tweeted some reading material on the subject. That link is here.

Mad Men: Episode 3 - My Old Kentucky Home

It's odd man out week on Mad Men. Lots of day in the life type vignettes. Interstign episode construction and lots of hats! Roger throws a Kentucky Derby Party, Peggy smokes some pot and everyone gets drunk!
More... Peyton List makes her first appearance of the season! She uses it to rub her post secretarial pool triumphs in the face of the other girls particularly Joan.

Meanwhile, the JV team is busy casting the new Patio (psst "Diet Pepsi" sounds better) ad and oogling girls long enough for Campbell/Cosgrove to tell them they have to work all weekend on the Bacardi add while they go to Roger's for a Derby Party which is all just a pretext for this weeks two major themes - casual racism (is bad) and feeling left out (is awesome). Which might be one theme, but you have already stopped reading so this is my own vanity exercise and I don't care what you think.

At home, Poppa Gene is making himself at home by making his Granddaughter read "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire" to him at home. She repays him by stealing 5 bucks. Poppa Gene casually accuses Carla of taking it (racism!) and Carla busts it trying to find the money before things turn for the worst. Sally realizing what she has done "finds" the money and is punished by having to read more of that dreadful book out loud. The End.

At the Derbey party, Roger puts on some black face and sings for his guests, as you do. Draper squirms - did Draper have a black friend growing up or something? Everyone else seemed to be having a good time. Every lady makes it a point to wear a hat except Betty because she's amazing to look at and even pregnant is all manner of hot. Trudy and Campbell completely fit and charleston their way through the party. Rich Sommer's character is completely out of place. His wife's awful hat is the visual queue you are looking for. Draper and Betty could care less about fitting in. Draper proves this by commandeering a bar and making a drink for the Ghost of Christmas Future who verbalizes the whole point of the episode by talking about how a self made guy like him never fits in at places like this. Don relates so much that he actually tells an honest story about peeing in the back of the cars he used to park as a valet at the nice restaurant back home. Peyton List throws herself at Draper and gets caught by Roger. Draper tells Roger to grow up. The End.

In her own way, Joan is busy desperately trying to fit in by hosting a dinner party for daterape doctor, his coworkers and their wives. It's all quite compelling - See Joan cook, see Joan serve, see Joan quote Emily Post, see Joan realize that Daterape Doctor is not only a dateraper but also a douchebag, see Joan power through all that - just her and her awesome accordion skills. The End.

At the office, the creatives are stuck at work all weekend on the Baccardi campaign. Smitty pressures the couch commie (who went to Princeton! wtf) to get them some of that green. They don't want to share with Peggy because they suck and I guess want Tom Cruise Light (the drug dealer) all to themselves. Peggy finds her pluck and demands that she "would like to smoke marijuana". Two hours later, Smitty and the Couch Commie depart to be mediocre somewhere else while Peggy gets all their work done, high as a kite. The End.

Mad Men: Season 3 Episode 2 - Love Among The Ruins

This one’s for the ladies. Or at least about them, the Ann-Margaret is for me and possibly my dad another lover of old Elvis movies. My dad and I used to have "Twist" offs. You have no idea what I’m talking about and that’s a shame. Let’s do some recapping!
More...

The show opens with the JV Team (minus Campbell) watching Ann-Margaret singing “Bye, Bye, Birdie” in color on an old school reel. Most of the gang are sporting sh*t eating grins (to hide their bones I’m sure). Sal is actually enjoying the song, humming along even. Sal, you’re not even trying anymore.

Peggy is clearly in a huff over their boner-dom and resurrects her feeling of “left outness” from last season. Of course, Rich Sommer’s character tries to placate her by telling her that at least she is “no longer fat”. Nice one Rich Sommer. Peggy is at a loss. Why can’t she be attractive, be taken seriously and get to pretend she never bore a baby that she gave up and drove her to insanity all at the same time? Why? Being a modern woman is tough work.

Regarding the Head of Accounts Wars of 63, Ken is in the early lead. While Cosgrove is trying to figure out how to win the new Diet Pepsi campaign, Peter and the Couch Commie are muffing their meeting with the group building the new Madison Square Garden. Apparently these gentlemen are very worried about the bad PR they are receiving for their plans to knock down the old Penn Station. Peter reminds everyone of his own mediocrity by totally losing control of the meeting and letting the Couch Commie share his opinions. In short order, he thinks the criticism is well deserved and drones about the Roman ruins being in Spain in his haughty Orson Wells poser voice. I can’t wait till the couch commie gives up the beatnick pose and turns into Wanna-Be-Hippie. I hate that guy. I hate that the voice supporting classic NY architecture is left to this blowhard.

The theme of old vs. new is again revisited on the home front. As Betty’s brother shows up with his family with father in tow. Senior Hofstead is losing it and everyone is at a loss as to what to do, especially Betty’s sniveling brother Bill. Btw, bad casting choice by the producers I think. Betty’s brother should be an Aaron Eckart type (or even a Ken Consgrove type). It’s hard to imagine this goon being from the same gene pool as Betty. Though I think the characterization of him as a whimp is spot on. It’s obvious that Dad was a domineering figure in their lives and they never quite got out of his shadow, so much so that Betty found an equally dominating cipher in Don. Much unlike Peggy, who manages to tell Roger (and us) in the elevator that her dad died long ago. Anyway, Betty is concerned about her dad and there is much argument between the siblings. Don ends up resolving the conflict by giving young Bill a verbal Draper. Poor impotent Bill has no choice but to accept an arrangement where he gives money to Don so Betty can assume nursing responsibilities for her dad. Not only does Don stick him with the check and makes sure Bill leaves with no car, no family home and no dad, he also insists they leave right away. All of this is just preamble of course, so the senior Hofstead can make some speech about the old being replaced by the new and the animals running the zoo, just in case the parallel between he and the old Penn Station was lost on those half asleep.

Funny Elizabeth Moss Mirror rendition of Bye Bye Birdie aside, the female empowerment storyline gets no such speechifying but it does go oral (!). Peggy goes to a bar and picks up a Brooklyn College student using Joan’s flirtations from an earlier office scene to kick off what turns into a goofier, more upbeat version of Betty’s seduction of Captain Awesome in last season’s finale. When the boy fails to come up with a condom, she politely reminds him they can do other things. Later, she dudes up and tries to sneak out in the middle of the night. When caught, she hilariously reverts to good girl mood and remembers to say she had a “nice time” as she hustles to the door.

My favorite interactions are always between Don and Peggy. Their bond is pretty neat. Like him, she is on the run from her own history and good at bringing her own life into work. She is also a fixer of things, or at least she is supposed to be.

Open Questions and Demands
Does the split in power mean that there will be fewer meetings that include bother Campbell and Ken? One of the hidden pleasures of the show is watching Ken’s casual awesomeness butt heads with Peter’s massive mediocrity/insecurity. There better be a big payoff to offset for this.

So Peggy owns her sexuality in a much more positive way than she has before and I’m intrigued. Don as the fixer of things and this is confirmed when he fixes things with his wife and with the Madison Square Garden people. Unfortunately, he but can’t figure out what the dickens to do with the asinine Brits, who are insistent on mucking things up. Roger’s daughter hates Peyton List because Peyton List is too hot for words and I’m sure that will come up again. I need more Joan; don’t make me go watch Firefly repeats for more Joan. More Joan!

Mad Men: Season 3 Episode 1 - Out Of Town

It’s 1963. The world is a rapidly changing place. Of course, Don Draper’s mind is still the most interesting place. The opening scene is a flashback to the birth of Don Draper (then a young Dick Whitman). I don’t get hung up on how Draper is able to have a flashback to his own birth. I am too fascinated by what I learn. Draper’s dad and mom were not able to have a baby and the midwife felt sorry for the lady. I guess Draper’s dad ended up knocking up a potty mouthed hooker who all thru labor was focused on an image of chopping the senior Whitman’s member (that’s how he got the name dick, y’all!). Good reason to change your name. Who wants that back story?

More...On the home front, things still look like a Rockwell painting come to life. If you look long enough though, you see that the only suit that Draper seems to not wear well is husband and father. Thank god the crew holds the camera on Don three seconds longer than they need to at home so I can make such observations. John Hamm does a good job projecting his Thoureauian "quiet desperation" in these moments. Of course, the more we learn about his own upbringing the more I am impressed that his only issues are philandering and being emotionally withholding.

At the office a number of interesting things are happening. The British have landed and are a bunch of pansies! Their first move is to fire a head of accounts who promptly starts breaking sh*t. Joan gets a villain – the writers do us the favor of giving him the nickname Moneypenny. Joan is also still marrying Dr. Insecure in spite of his date rape of her. Zoey Bartlett/Peggy gets a secretary who hates her and Ken and Peter both get named head of accounts. For our sake, BritVader (that’s my nickname for him) manages to neglect telling them they are co-heads. This leads to some hilarity and some classic Peter Campbell hissyfit action. Despite his new title, Campbell is still second class - so much so that episode end, Roger encourages him to make himself a drink just "not the Stoli". Suck it, kid.

Draper and Sal go to Baltimore. Draper picks up a flight attendant and Sal picks up a Bellboy, as you do. Sal has a minor meltdown when Draper discovers he blows dudes. Sal should talk to Peggy about how good Don is at keeping secrets. While we are here, I have to point out that Sal is the least believable heterosexual ever. How has he not been found out yet.

There is a long discussion about the name London Fog and how, in fact, there is no fog in London. The haze was just smog; a result of rapid industrialization. Bert Cooper, over drinks in Don’s office says something like “I don’t care if it’s true or not, London Fog is a good name”. That’s a classic ad man for you. Forget the truth. The lie sells better.

Looking forward, 1963 is also the year that Martin Luther King told us he had a dream, the year the Beatles released their first album, the year the first James Bond Movie Dr. No came out and the year Kennedy was assassinated. Other things happened that year, but I suspect these will be highlighted in the halls of Sterling Cooper. I can’t wait.