Important Conversations: Incredibly Rewatchable Movies

Over the course of a conversation with Catjjy about something else, we drifted into a discussion about the new HBO show Boardwalk Empire, a show that highlights the involvement of Martin Scorsese. Catjjy used this as an opportunity to mention she had recently watched Goodfellas and that it still holds up very well.

I used this as an opportunity to drag Catjjy into a multiday conversation about movies that you can pretty much watch whenever they are on because they hold up so well. Poor Catjjy. Anyway, here is the list
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Goodfellas - I think because its a period piece that takes place in the 70s and early 80s its always looked a somewhat dated and therefore will always hold up. I dunno about you, but I always stumble onto this movie in one of two scenes. The single camera shot thru the kitchen of the Copa OR the scene where Ray Liotta narrates over the the bodies of all of DeNiro's co-conspirators in the Lufthansa heist. Both are worth sitting thru and you may as well sit through the scene where Joe Pesci gets whacked, because why the hell not? Am I right?

Heat - I am not sure why Michael Mann is responsible for some many impenetrably dull movies but he is responsible for the single most compelling heist scene ever. No matter what part of Heat I happen upon while flipping channels, I will stick with it right up until Tom Sizemore gets shot up with a 6 year old girl in his hands and only then consider bailing out.

Serenity - The movie no one demanded based on the TV show no one watched. I dragged L3 to see this with me when we lived together and 5 months later watched our roommate watch the movie over and over on HBO. FX always shows it and everytime I have watched someone watch this movie, they always start laughing hysterically and then immediately get shocked by a rather grisly death and basically stick with it till the end. For the life of me, I still don't know why a space cowboy action soap opera never worked on either the large or small screen.

Godfather - The first time I saw the Godfather was on TV and it was godfather part 2 and it was the last 5 minutes when Michael flashes back to his decision to leave Brown and enlist in the army. This was my first introduction to the Corleone family and somehow though it was the last scene of the second film it could have easily been the first scene of the first. This two movie set is awesome, no matter when you happen upon it.

The American President - Something about Aaron Sorkin dialogue is just awesome. This movie is sort of great and its neat to think that all the work that went into this movie eventually became the framework for The West Wing. I sort of like the minor imperfections of actors not being sure how to deliver Sorkin dialogue. Its also the last time I remember seeing my teenage crush Samantha Mathis in a movie. Btw, I think Charlie Wilson's War will make this list some day soon.

Rudy - For Serious, who is going to challenge me on this. If you did not cry the first time you saw them stack their jerseys on the coach's desk then you are not a man and don't know what fellowship is.

I had Training Day on this list but Catjjy disagreed wildly. I want to put Boogie Nights on this list but it never gets on regular cable (why?). I should point out now that no Star Wars movie (ever) is very re-watchable with the possible exception of Empire Strikes back. I recently watched The Inside Man again on TV and enjoyed that more than I thought I would the second time around. Sort of makes me wish that the 25th hour was on TV more.

Do any of you have a movie you think is imminently rewatchable?

Conan O'Brien Conspiracy

I have a soft spot in my heart for Conan O’Brien and wish him well, but I’ve never bothered to watch him as host of the Tonight Show. Apparently, that describes a lot of other people as well. Last night Catjjy and I spent some time catching up on the controversy. We read Conan’s letter and tuned in to nbc.com and Hulu to watch his show. Before long, I had a deep and resounding desire to see Conan win this battle, so I could watch him host the Tonight Show for years to come.

And then it hit me: could this actually be a FAKE FIGHT, designed to secure Conan’s spot in America’s heart, and solve a few other pesky problems for NBC to boot? I won’t call it a conspiracy theory. I don’t believe in conspiracies. Let’s just call it a brilliant marketing ploy.

Consider the evidence:

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1. It’s working great. I bet when the numbers come out, this week’s ratings will be the highest for the Show in years. People who haven’t seen an episode of the Tonight Show since they were kids are showering support for Conan on Facebook and other places, imploring NBC to keep him on a show they never watched in the first place.

2. Both Conan and the Show really, really needed a marketing gimmick. Until last week, nobody even cared that Conan had taken over, which is just about the worst fate the Show could suffer.

3. A surprising number of people seem to feel free to jump in. The dude who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock showed up two nights ago for a pro-Conan, anti-NBC skit. He’s a young actor who is two years into a bit part that is the only paying acting job he has ever had. And he’s on TV goofing on his employer? Without a green light from somebody upstairs? Seems unlikely.

4. The brouhaha allows Jay Leno to swoop in and save the day, restoring his reputation and allowing him to gracefully bow out of his show, which wasn’t the success he had hoped it would be. Here’s what will happen: the boneheads at NBC will move Jay to 11:30. Jay will say “ENOUGH! I will NOT be a part of your attempt to destroy this franchise!! I’m closing down my show so that the Tonight Show can stay at 11:30 where it belongs, with Conan as host.”

In the end, Jay Leno avoids the humiliation of getting canceled and gets sainted for saving the Tonight Show. Conan gets a huge shot in the arm for a show that really needs it. NBC network executives look foolish…all the way to the bank. Everyone is happy.

If this is a ploy, it is an incredibly audacious one. My hat goes off to the executive that had the grapes to give it a try.

xTian's Pitch Meeting

Prior to Thanksgiving, I was in LA for a friend’s engagement/wedding reception thingamabobber. At this event, I met several people who seemed to be planning to produce or had recently starred in some sort of web series or guest stared on webisodes of a web series. I found this fascinating. Mostly because it sounded like code for "I'm an unemployed actor" but whatever...

The storytelling approach has to be completely different because you sort of have to tell a small story in a shortened format. Even in a situation where you have some sort of cliffhanger you have to introduce characters and a scenario in a compressed time frame. I have spent a lot of time, thinking about strange things so I spent some time wondering what sort of concepts would lend them selves to webisodes.

Here are a few:
More...Push & Kick
I met a guy recently who lived somewhere in Brooklyn, not terrible close to a subway. So whenever he went anywhere he would bring along a collapsible foot scooter so that he could ride more quickly to the subway. Since he thought it ok to lug it into a restaurant where we were having dinner with mutual friends, I thought it was ok to ask him if he brought this on dates etc. He admitted he did and that at times people had found it off putting. Of course, this started percolating in my head – doesn’t this work as a broader metaphor for the isolation brought about our modern usage of technology? Wouldn’t it be sort of fascinating to watch this guy get turned down on dates, possibly knock small children over and alienate his friends and family in several situations –each in its own webisode? Then this could also be elements of a longer narrative. Each webisode taking our hero deeper into the dumps till he bottoms out (extremely isolated) and then he can redeem himself by doing something truly heroic and it ends with him basically reigniting a foot scooter craze. We could also use a Segue I guess, but only if they come through with promotional considerations

Summer BreezeI also think Mr. Shoulder’s life deserves its own webseries. I will let your mind run wild with the possibilities. I had an idea 5 years ago when Mr. Shoulders was hitting the Jersey Shore and Vegas with voracious frequency. Of course, MTV sort of swiped that idea and now we have to deal with “The Situation” and Snooki, even though I had the idea first. Still, the life and loves of Mr. Shoulders sounds compelling...much more so than Cat Fancy staring Evil.

Mid-Teen Afternoon Social
This one was actually devised in conjunction with another Hoser, who can choose to reveal himself if he likes. I recently have been reading a lot of about how today’s teens have a far different value system than we did growing up and now kids are running trains, giving BJs left and right and generally running amuck. The more I thought about this, the more I thought movies like Super Bad are actually a little innocent and a reflection of an earlier more innocent time. Imagine if instead of trying to have sex or make out our whatever our teen heroes were trying to talk various women into basket jobs and rainbow parties or ass play (as a first sexual experience). Every mini episode could be their attempt to get their party together could be wrought with hilarious little failures and them trying to use current porn dialogue to get women to react. I am not sure how it would actually end. Maybe they will learn something. Maybe someone will try to trick them into having unprotected assplay. I have not really decided.

Anyway, I consider all three of these ideas as valid as most of the episodic web shorts I have seen online.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #1 The Wire

The Wire was a television program that could not have happened before the 2000s. Really, it was probably 20 years too soon but it came when it came and it was awesome.

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The concept was huge
The concept was simple enough I suspect when he sold it. A police procedural about drug dealers and wire taps in Baltimore. David Simon (a former City Reporter for the Baltimore Sun and later a producer and writer for Homicide and author of the The Corner) delivered on this but he also gave us so much more. In the end he told a broad story about the failure of large US cities at the beginning of the 21st century starting first with the drug trade, and subsequently exploring the evaporation of the middle class, the inherent bureaucracy of local government, the complete failure of the educational system and finally why the media is no longer in a position to expose all these limitations.


The narrative and the characters are complex
Lots of writers who got paid to watch TV called the show “Dickensian in scope”, something that annoyed Simon so much that he used it as an example of the sort of drivel that Editors use at flailing newspapers in season 5. What the meant is that he managed to avoid following a strict linear narrative. Dominic West was ostensibly the star of the show but he spent the entirety of season 3 showing up every other episode, smirking, and then drifting back into the background. This is because the city (its street corners, funeral homes, projects, police precincts, city hall) was the star with several characters going into and out of focus at any given time.

They also never give you an upper hand over anyone in the show. You learn things as they do. You also have to pay attention. Police Chief Bunny Colvin shows up for 3 minutes in season 2, quietly observes a situation and decides then and there what his only course of action is; as witnessed by his Hamsterdam experiment in Season 3.

People love Omar Little – the Robin Hood of the ‘hood. They fear Marlo Stansfield. They inexplicably want Bunny to succeed and mostly because you are willing to trade anything away for a cessation of the insanity.


It also manages to be quite funny.


It won’t make you feel good
There is no redemption for the system it’s a disaster. Some characters find individual redemption but its few and far between and even then their position is assumed by someone else from the cast ensure that their system stays broken and things stay hopeless.

Season 4 is essentially about the children raised on the streets of Baltimore and it is at times heartbreaking. Your investment in the “hoppers” – Namond, Michael, Dukie, and Randy will leave in pieces after you realize where Baltimore leaves most of them… You also get to meet Kinard – who turns out to be the most evil 5 year old ever.

A closing thought
This is a tough show to watch. No one stops to explain anything to you - its one long sprawling narrative that unfolds bit by bit. It was also the single vision of one creator - an auteur – just like filmmaking in the 70s. This is the conceit of television in the 00s. Prior to this decade TV shows were pretty consistent. The status quo could not be disrupted week to week so viewers could check in or out without much work. This is no longer the case. As technological advances drove a drop in prices (as VHS went to DVDs then On Demand to our eventual post net work future), the revenue opportunity for television series also changed because revenue could be made up in the secondary market. This allowed people to stretch on TV. I suppose it could have happened earlier with VHS but it didn’t for whatever reason. I mean really, who went out and bought MASH or even Friends on VHS? I don’t know many folks who did.

I am not sure which was the chicken or the egg here. Was it the burning platform (the 10 hour drama of the Sopranos, FX’s The Shield or ABC’s Alias) or the technology? The best answer is that they probably helped each other out – a virtuous circle with each element re-enforcing the other. Now telling a story (large or small) across a series was possible because any audience sacrificed week to week could be made up future consumption. The medium of that consumption continues to evolve and soon no one will consume DVDs and eventually we won’t even being paying for cable (the next inefficiency to fall and I can’t wait)

So this is the TV story of the 00s. The first few examples of this in the decade (JJ Abrams work on Alias and the guy from Sopranos) begat others like Lost and even Glee. But it reached it potential with The Wire - a brilliant show that is probably best consumed on DVD or on Demand as one long single narrative.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #6-2

So, I got backed up on this and was struggling to catch up. I think there is more potential for debate and discussion if blow through 6-2. By Tuesday, I will put up what I think #1 is.

There are some notable exceptions that I want to proactively mention:
I am declaring Survivor a creature of the 90s
I hate everything to do with forensic science
Rome went for only 2 seasons and the second season was undone by budget pressures that made them skip through about 10 years of their story

So none of the make the cut, though there are strong arguments for all.

Having said all that, I still had 7 to go and only 6 slots, so I am going to have a tie for 6th.

So without further ado,
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6A. Top Chef
Our first Reality Show Entry! Let’s admit the following as a group: Bravo is primarily geared towards gays. I just needed to get that out of the way. This show is also super surprising. I think a lot of other reality shows tried to manufacture drama - Survivor through their ‘coalitions’ and what not, The Real World with their booze, the bachelor and the . Top Chef is a little different. They really rely on the nutty diva personalities, much like a chef who relies on the natural qualities of his ingredients. Who knew that cooking could be so competitive.


6A. Mad Men
Mad Men is great for several reasons. First, it works very hard to put us in a different time and place. Second, it has complex characterizations. Lastly, it refuses to indulge its audiences with quick resolutions. I have had conversations with people who argue that somehow, even though its a highly serialized drama they never disrupt the status quo. I am not sure it could be more wrong. As near as I can see, all the characters are exactly where they are as a direct result of the decisions they have been making. We all have to respect that.


5.Arrested Development
I suspect many shows are too smart for their own good. I think Arrested Development is one of these shows. Prior to writing this I went and looked up the definitions of surrealism and absurdist humor to see if those were phrases I should use to describe this show. They aren't and that's too bad because there should be a word, a phrase, a style to describe what Arrested Development was all about. I mean why was the camera shaky? As if they were taping a reality show? Why did that one episode have a "live episode" ending, even though it was not taped live? Why is GOB so motherF***ing hilarious? What exactly was Charlize Theron doing in those last few episodes?

This show raised more questions then it ever answered. But that's ok. I just knew I was in a good place if GOB was on camera and I knew I hated Buster. Can you really hate a show that brought us Michael Cera? Or the show that will springboard Maybe's eventual Cinemax career? Of course not. It was awesome.


4. 30 Rock
This show makes the list because I am sexually attracted to Tina Fey. I think she's HOT. In an earlier draft of this post, I went on at length about how attractive her scar looked when she did "Weekend Update" and how that scar makes me think of sex. I took this out for obvious reasons.

Tina Fey is hot because she is really funny and this show is really funny and post coital joking is awesome. Also I find Tracy Morgan hilarious.


3. Lost
Lost is the most successful, completely inaccessible sci-fi TV show ever. It is also the most successful piece of serialized television ever. It is also the most character driven drama of the last decade. Their ability to balance all these elements enabled this show to dominate the zeitgeist for 2-3 years in the middle of the decade. It also makes it nearly impossible to jump in on now and makes every new episode worthy of substantial, if unfulfilling discussion. Regardless, I can’t not watch this show. I am completely convinced that this show has not won a new viewer over since the middle of season 1. I am terribly worried that with 18 hours left, people will not get every question answered and that will somehow undermine its legacy. There will never be another Lost. We should all be sad about that.



2. American Idol
Everyone watches this show. It turns people like the chick in clip below into super duper stars. It's a huge deal week in, week out. The dynamic between the judges is awesome and it was a juggernaut for most of the decade. So its #2, not #1.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #7 True Blood

It is important to note that I have been consistently gay for vampires for most of my life, whereas the country as a whole goes through a pretty cyclical love affair. The end of the decade was the latest resurrection of America’s love affair with the bloodsucker.
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True blood is quite different from most other incarnations. For instance, instead of taking place somewhere more cosmopolitan it takes place in rural Louisiana. The world is very much like the setting for other vampire stories – similar to our own, but with a twist. Instead of vampires existing in hiding, they are an acknowledged if not quite accepted fact of life. True Blood is also totally gross on several levels. Humans take vampire blood (V) like it’s a drug and “fangbangers” love sexing vampires, pretty wild. Of course, it’s not only about vampires. The protagonist, Sookie, is a normal human (except she can read thoughts) and her boss is a were-person and the fry cook is a gay. Their problems though (stilted out of time dialogue aside), are terribly human. We are only two seasons in, but Alan Ball has already turned these goofy novels into totally must watch TV.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #8 Battlestar Galactica

I suspect none of the fastidious forty ever watched this show. Unlike Glee, I found it hard to evangelize this show. How would I do it – “yeah…it is a remake of that dippy sci-fi show starring Face (pre-A- Team) but its so much more…” does not really sell it. Neither does “So it’s like the last 5 years of human civilization”, nor does “really it is an on going meditation about the natural tension of social evolution and how that impacts society’s notion of faith as referenced in an evolution from polytheism to monotheism…but in space”. So it’s all those things and so much more…want to watch? Yeah, did not think so…

More...The pitch for this show is simple enough. The last few thousand human beings in the universe are stuck on an increasingly decrepit space ship looking for a new home. They are being terrorized by their “children” - hot human looking robots – because the humans refuse denounce polytheism and embrace the love of the one true monotheistic God that the robots worship (or something). I am not even remotely kidding. Over its 5 seasons the show moves in all sorts of disturbing ways as humans become increasingly desperate. It is pretty tough to watch and the highs never quite match the lows. Watch people debate hot robots about faith and destiny. Try to figure out just how completely insane Dr. Baltar is as he argues with his super ego (in the guise of the hottest looking robot ever). This show is also the logical extreme of serialized inaccessible lunacy that television networks explored in the 00s to drive up DVD sales. More than anything, this show is one story…clearly I am biased.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #9 Gilmore Girls

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Greatest Interview Ever? Maybe...

You might have caught my new besties on Leno or Jimmy Kimmel or George Lopez (he's bringing the party back to late night...have you heard? no? Me neither) but the only appearance that was awesome was their proper interview with Conan.




It got me thinking - isn't it time to thin the herd a bit. I know NBC has Leno on at a 10 because its cheaper than scripted TV or a reality show, but can he just go away? I mean seriously. If they are that worried about cost, they could just QVC us for an hour...oh who cares, I don't watch any of this crap anyway. I am just copying gawker posts for your amusement.

The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #10

Following the same drill as before, I decided to highlight some of the shows that I thought were important in the last ten years. Same rules as before, but I liked Killer B #1's style so much I am going to do them one post at a time but with a twist. I am actually doing this countdown style. So I have 10 to get to, and sometime around December 31st I will unveil what I thought was the show of the decade
So without further ado...
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The Chappelle Show: No show soared higher or flamed out more quickly. White kids everywhere started declaring themselves Rick James, even though most had no idea who Rick James was. People were talking about it everywhere and almost entirely by accident in a way that no one ever talked about Half Baked, even though I always argued we should.

Everyone knows how this story ended. Dave had an incredibly successful second season and then was offered $50MM to do several additional seasons. An offer he accepted then ran away from as he became less comfortable with the show and the pressures of fame and fortune.

Of course, the weirdest thing about all this, was how aware Chappelle was of his undoing as seen is this clip below...

Chappelle's Show
Dave Has $55 Million
www.comedycentral.com
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story

The Jersey Shore: Someone Explain the Situation to Me

I am like 5 days behind. This show was the best two hours of my life ever. I can't even deal with it.

For those of you who don't know I will explain - MTV producers went across NY and Rhode Island looking for 4 tanorexic steriod-popping meatheads and matched them up with a troll and a few other "hot chicks". The result - genius!

Here are some preliminary observations

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(1) "The Situation" is the greatest nickname ever. I can't believe this nim thought of it before me. I am besides myself with grief. Thankfully, my friend came up with a good compromise...from here on out I will be "La Situacion".
(2) One girl appears to be about 4ft 5in and hopes to "hook up with a juice head like every night". Is there an upside to hooking up with someone on steroids? Is this better than this ambien sex I am hearing about? How do I find a girl on steroids and into ambien sex? T-Mo...thoughts?
(3) Sami "Sweetheart", the "cute one" dressed in all black, made out with both The Situation and super-meathead Ronnie on the first episode. I am into her vibe though because she is packing extra in the poop-chute. I wonder if she would be into La Situacion...
(4) The guy from Rhodes Island spends 2 hours on his hair every morning. I can tell, but I still can't understand why...
(5) There is a girl on there named Angelina (purple top) who insists that the housemates call her Joile and at one point declares herself the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island. I can't tell what is a funnier disconnect from reality these statements or what goes through my mind when I am in the gym. She is also proudly a c*ckblock. She is ruining the whole show for me, by herself.
(6) JWOWW (teal top) dresses like a stripper, has ruined her hair through constant dyeing and has face cheeks that resemble Mike Piazza's back. I think this is all to set us up for the biggest, roundest boob job ever. She has a boyfriend but made out with the guy from Rhodes Island anyway and found a Prince Albert on him just as she remembered her scruples.

I am flabbergasted, astounded, confused and amazed.

Glee: Show Title Or The Way I Feel When I Watch This Show

This show is so great, they took a song that was ostensibly about masturbation and made into something else entirely. Something much deeper...Ryan Murphy, the show creator, broke down some of the tonal changes the show is developing here.

Such a charming, uplifting show...

Mad Men Episode 13: Shut the Door, Have a Seat

It all comes to a head in a way we were sort of anticipating but in a way more fun manner than we could have ever hoped for.

Trudy rocks! Betty sucks! and Joan! More Joan!

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Before I get to fun; let's get some perfunctory stuff out of the way. Betty wants to divorce Don and is willing to relocate to Nevada with Henry Francis to make this happen. Don is all like "whatever" then goes nuts when Roger tells him that there is someone named Henry Francis in the mix then he comes about two inches away from beating her before he backs down. Why, you ask? We'll get to that in a minute.

Conrad Hilton summons Don. He tells him that McCann has bought PPL and since Connie was only dealing with SC as an alternative to his primary ad firm (McCann) this pretty much terminates their relationship. Don gets a little snippy and Connie goes all papa bear on him asking him if he is a whiner or a winner - Dick or Don? And then they have sex! No they don't, because Connie is his dad not his boyfriend. I have been confusing this relationship all season. What does that say about me?

This sends Don into a time vortex, where he revisits a memory of his old man quitting a farm collective that is getting screwed. Don resolves to be a winner and runs to Bertram!(?). Bert agrees to try to buy back SC from the Brits. Bert also papa bears Don and demands that he man up and apologize to Roger so he can join their conspiracy. Roger makes Don eat it till he admits that he needs Roger's client management skills, then he gives him some papa bear advice! (Somebody's no where near as a big a hobo as he thinks).

Finally, they approach Pryce with a proposal to buy the firm. He laughs them off, but only sort of, because really he likes these guys way better than he likes St. Johns and the rest of those uppity buggers back in England. Don has another flashback where his father finally relents and takes very little for his crops. Of course on his way to Chicago to get screwed he gets kicked in the head by his horse and dies! Don ain't going out like that. Eat it y'all. When Pryce finds out that St. John is packing him off to McCann as well, he does all the principals the favor of firing them all in exchange for partnership in their new firm.

The rest of the episode is the world's greatest heist movie. Can the fearsome foursome get everyone they want and enough clients to start a business before the Brits can cabosh the whole thing? Of course! Pryce calls a carpeting cleaning holiday on Friday December 13, 1963 so they can get rid of everyone. He then fires the three principals after close of business London time giving them the weekend to run out the back door with everything not nailed down to the floor and anyone who has bothered to innovate anything in the last three seasons.

Peggy - Don assume Peggy will come and she calls BS. She makes him eat it till he admits that she is (1) Good (2) Not simply an extension of his own pathos (3) a big girl now. Hey, is Don building a new family?

Peter - Peter is a total goon and no one likes him but Don is forced to admit to his face that Peter is in some ways more creative (aeronautics, the black market, teens) than the rest of them and if he can show up with 8MM in billings by Sunday he's in! As a partner! I'm glad Peter gets to stay. In my mind, Peter is one of the best developed characters on TV. As an Angel fan, I'm glad Vincent Kartherias is doing so well.

Trudy - Peter is only tolerable because Trudy keeps him on a short leash. When he tries to jerk Don and Roger around she takes control in a way that I, Roger and don all find hysterical. It's clear that Don and Roger would rather have Trudy around than either Peter or their own wives.

Harry - Harry is another innovator from the SC crowd, recognizing the television opportunity ahead of all others. When Bert propositions him he is at a loss about what to do. Evil Bert reappears and offers to stick him in a closet overnight if he doesn't accept. Harry starts grabbing boxes.

As much fun as recruiting this conspiracy is, these goons are useless unless the job calls for boozing, smoking or philandering. They want to steal everything but have no idea where anything is. Roger, recognizing he has both a boner and a need, summons Joan. Joan knows exactly what to do and arrives with movers and a working knowledge of everything they need to take.

By Monday, they are up and running in the Pierre Hotel having stolen about 40MM in annual billings. Don agrees to let Betty go because he no longer needs her. He has lived up to his Hobo Code and walked out of an unappealing situation but he managed to do so while building a new family, one he seems capable of communicating with. That's real growth! Nice job, Don!

This almost felt like a series finale in a lot of ways. I mean Don's arc in my mind has found its logical conclusion. Where do we go from here? A spin off about about a sassy black lady raising two white kids with horrible lisps? Maybe...

Mad Men Episode 12: The Grown Ups

Normally, watching people watch TV is decidedly un-compelling.

I know this. I recorded myself watching TV once and I could not imagine anything less interesting. This week, Mad Men decided to subject us to an hour of people watching TV.
More...Everyone is cold, then everyone is hot. The significance of this escapes me. Clearly, its significant. I think it was cold because that was most appropriate for the B plot of the week, where Campbell loses out in the head of accounts race to Ken. Then it suddenly gets very hot. Then Kennedy is shot in Dallas.

So, when you talk to people about the Kennedy assassination, they talk about Camelot and the loss of innocence. People have managed to turn into some larger statement about when America was great and suddenly started to grow up and become what it is now (something people sort of equate with something less than great).

Mad Men has, for the past three seasons, basically disagreed with this hypothesis. There was nothing particularly great or wonderful about late 50s/early 60s America. People were still the same self involved, petty weak people they are now. They were just better at hiding their flaws in a some sort of waspy, well mannered veneer.


I thought about this as I watched several characters on Mad Men use the Kennedy tragedy to their own ends. Jane uses it as a ploy to be a total brat at Roger's daughter's wedding. Betty uses it as an excuse to see the politician and build up the resolve to tell Don she no longer loves him. Duck uses it to bed Peggy. Roger uses it as another excuse to speak to Joan. Peggy's room mate used it as an excuse to host a party. Finally, and most demonstrably, Campbell uses it to turn Trudy against SterlingCooper.

So basically, none of them actually cared much about the Kennedy assassination at all. They just used it as a backdrop for their own pathology. Wild. People have been talking about how Weiner and Co. would handle the Kennedy assassination. I must say, I did not think it would be like this.

Of course, now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. These small people, they get smaller every week.

Very demure lead in to a big season finale...will Betty leave Don? Will Peter leave SterlingCooper? Will Roger run to Joan? Will Peggy run to Duck? What about the Brits? What about...everything?

Mad Men Episode 11: The Gypsy and the Hobo

The status quo is irrevocably flipped on its ear!

Roger meet his season's quota of witty one liners in one scene!

Campbell and Cosgrove are still nowhere to be seen, put out an APB!

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A former client who sells horse meat as dog food shows up and asks SC for help. Apparently, she broke Roger's heart 25 years. Now she's back and in addition to procuring advertising services she is also looking to get the, heretofore unseen, Sterling. She's all like "let's roll in the hay" and Roger is all like "nah, you dumped me". Then she's all like "we are like the pair in Casablanca". Roger is all like "No way, she left him for someone awesome, you left me for a chump". Finally, she's like "come on, give me the high hard one". Roger ends it with "I got a 25 year old hottie at home, its awesome. peace" AND SCENE (Its hilarious when acted out by John Flattery. Nice job JF!)

Still Roger is not all stone cold. Joan calls him and asks for help with a job. Roger flirts, flirts some more, and finally full on sleazes. She is polite and to the point. Roger clearly sort of loves her. After his Heisman of the horse meat queenm he sets out to help Joanie out. Clearly that will bite him in the ass later.

On the home front, Joan's perfect life is now completely undone. Dr. DateRape can't seem to sell himself as a psychiatrist and just wants to cut dudes up. I debated changing his name from Dr. DateRape to Dr. WoahIsMe because he is so pathetic. Finally, he explains to Joan that she has no idea what its like to do everything correctly and still not get what you want. Right, Joan has no idea what he's talking about. One second she thinks she is marrying Dr. Awesome the next minute he is a failure/date rapist/mega d*uche. She is so incensed by this self absorption she has not choice but to whack him with a vase. He must have gotten a concussion or something because the next thing you know he has enlisted as a doctor in the army.

Don packs off Betty and the kids to sort out Gene’s estate. Betty’s brother shows up to play the part of the chump and remind everyone why Betty is so attracted to Don’s take charge style. There is some hilarity when Betty closes the door to discuss Don’s hidden past with the family attorney. Aside form the late 50s gender politics goofiness of the lawyer’s advice; we also get Betty’s brother banging on the door like an insolent child being left out of an important discussion. The writers must have decided that if they weren’t going to use Campbell in this episode the least they could do is channel his whininess through several other characters. HAH.

Don is the man. He is all about Hot4Teacher. He wants to take her to CT while Betty is away. They are set to go but Betty catches him when he tries to put together a bag for his trip. She confronts him then and there in the most forceful way possible. John Hamm plays Dick Whitman in a completely different way than he does Draper. Draper is in control, Whitman is emotional and weak. The physical difference is noticeable; he can barely light a cigarette. Don’s cigarette smoke also makes a break for it, no sass from that jackass this week.

Betty demands the truth and Don/Dick gives it. In rather harsh detail, Betty cornered him and got him to reveal every piece of his history - his mother the prostitute, his drunk father, his step mother, Uncle Mack and of course poor Adam. Learning that Draper actually blames himself for Adam’s death is new. I never considered it before, but I guess they have raised the specter of this guilt before when he has gone out of his way to help Sal, Peggy and even when he helped H4T’s brother. The desperation in his face as he admits to Betty that it was never obvious to him why she loved him at all was sort of compelling. I mean seriously, Don went from a man in complete control to a disheveled mess in about 30 seconds. AWESOME.

Betty’s strength is important here, child-goddess Betty would not have deserved the truth in Draper’s mind. Draper loves strong willed independent women, and Betty does not fit that mold, until now (?).

The entire conceit of this show is that Don Draper is a man who through sheer force of will, can maintain full control of every aspect of his life. So much so that he can will an entirely new persona into existence and an ideal life from out of nowhere. His life is the living embodiment of his work, perfect, inspiring and a complete fraud. This week that was all undone. The entire show is built around Don struggling to maintain this lie. Where do they go from here?

The episode ends with his son dressed as a hobo and his daughter as a gypsy, ready to trick or treat. Betty inexplicably decides to stand by her man, undermining her earlier strength. Or maybe there is a new status quo. They are now co-conspirators after all…

This episode was so awesome I thought of two completely different songs while I watched it. "Ask Me Anything" by the Strokes and "All Falls Down" by Kanye. For serious.

We Need To Butch Things Up a Bit

Mad Men Episode 10: The Color Blue

The Couch Commie still sucks but now even he realizes. Betty learns that Don’s whole life is a lie (but she’s dumb so she can’t piece it all together). Lane Price grows a heart. Hot4Teacher is a total looney tunes and Don remembers the “Hobo Code”.

The most action packed episode of the series. To make up for it the last 5 episodes of the season will probably contain 240 minutes of intense staring.

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Don is doing Hot4Teacher nightly and ever so rightly. Post Coital – they break down how silly little children can be and how one 8 year old asked Hot4Teacher how she knows that when she sees blue he is seeing the same blue. She says something sufficiently nutty about how she doesn’t but she was really moved by his ability to make her access such a question from her own memory and perception. Then she blew the 8 year old, kidding…maybe. Her brother then shows up and while Don's cigarette sees an embarrassing junkie and calls it like he sees it. H4T just sees her epileptic brother in trouble. Don wants nothing to do with the kid and breaks out till the tool blows town. Hot4Teacher follows him onto his commuter train to confront him. CREEPY!

Randomly, Don’s cigarette softens and “befriends” the kid based on his commitment to the hobo code, which apparently Don’s cigarette still subscribes even though his master has traded it in for a SterlingCooper binding contract (and signing bonus).

All this teacher banging puts the Draper household on edge. So much so that a simple errant phone call puts Don and Betty on the defensive with their paramours. Henry puts Betty in her place and Don confronts H4T on a train (still creepy) but not before his cigarette is all like “don’t call me at home b*tch”. Betty is so confused she finally accesses the drawer of secrets and discovers Don’s divorce papers, his deed to the house in California, two sets of dog tags and several Whitman family photos of depression era poverty and joyless childhoods. She doesn’t know what to make of it all but boy is she steamed! I assume she perceives that Don has been hiding a first marriage, but that’s because she does not have the benefit of three seasons of incredibly deliberate (if you are catjjy replace deliberate with plodding) plot development. She is so steamed that when its time to join the charade and play Betty Draper – MILF Queen of the Universe – she debates it for about 5 minute, considers confronting Don and ultimately gives up. I ALMOST pity you this week Betty. Nice job by, writers.

In office news, (What? They work?) the couch commie comes to grips with his own mediocrity. He thinks Peggy is more appreciated first because she is Don’s pet and second because she’s a woman. Peggy’s perception of her relationship with Don is pretty much entirely based on him recently telling her she is completely replaceable. Kingsly drinks till he forgets his genius idea and gets bailed out on the Western Union pitch by Peggy. He suddenly realizes he sucks and she is actually very good. Poor Kingsley joins the ranks of thousands of Princeton grads, embraces his mediocrity and skulks away, supposedly to drink more.

Lane Price, still totally aware of how disposable he is to the folks in Londontown, realizes he loves NY and his pals at SterlingCooper. Again the perceptions are at work here. His wife’s hatred of NY is based on its crassness. To Lane, obviously of more humble beginnings it is a place to reinvent himself, free of his apparently non Oxford pedigree. This and his overlords rather dismissive decision to sell SC rock his world. He tries his best to make friendly with both Don and Bert. Both of which seem to sorta work. Are we gearing up for a new CooperDraperPrice ad agency run by Joan, with Sal in charge of television?

Mercifully, Roger returns to his rightfully place, cracking jokes and having to put up with his aunt confusing his wife with his daughter.

The episode ends with a Scarface level ham-handed (not Hamm-handed) “The World is Yours” blimp scene. SterlingCooper, which really no longer exists except in the poor deluded minds of its employees, has a 40th Anniversary Celebration with the Brits (who could care less and only see this as a springboard to $$) pushing Roger (who hates Don) to recognize Don’s leadership (who is not at all Don and now several people in this room know it) and his wife’s loyalty and support (HAHA) in front of a bunch of clients who took turns storming out last week.


Prediction – Betty seemed completely non-pulsed by the large amount of cash in the drawer of secrets. She’s pretty, but she’s dumb – because homeboy is getting ready to bounce!

(Btw, image above- Last Supper Much?)

Another Show You All Should Be Watching

I have already admitted a deep and unwavering love of GLEE, but the show I have not talked about yet is Modern Family. It's a little early, but I think this might be evolving into the smartest comedy I have seen since Arrested Development...

The show centers around a somewhat hilarious extended family that include Al Bundy as its randomly wealthy patriarch, Sofia Vergara as his second wife, Julie Bowen (one of this chicks that has shown up on a lot of shows) as his uptight daughter, some dude as his gay son and several other hilarious people as their spouses and children.

I will admit I tuned in most to see Sofia Vergara but after four episodes I gotta admit this show is freaking hilarious. Shelley Long showed up last night as Ed O'neil's crazy, yet overbearing ex-wife.

Mad Men Episode 9: Wee Small Hours

Betty is having dreams about some dude working her over. Don is suffering from severe insomnia, an issue he acquired so he could better service his looney tunes client. The upside is that he can now more easily bang other womenMore...
Betty cannot get her Italian freedom or Henry the sleezy politico out of her mind. She addresses this by taking on a completely chaste, but completely inappropriate, correspondence with Henry. This is clearly not Henry’s first goat rodeo. He takes the frivolous notes as a queue to happen upon Betty mid day. Third episode ever of this show, Betty was taken down two notches by Draper for allowing an air conditioning sales guy in her house mid day, meanwhile this dude just comes flaunting in, the hell? Sloppy, sloppy Betty. So sloppy that Carla catches them. Henry comes up with a stupid cover story about a fund raising cocktail party and Betty actually follows through on it. This fools Carla not at all. Having said that, it’s still 1963 so Carla knows better than to act like she knows what’s going on. Carla is all manner of awesome with her judging looks. They scream stuff like “Is this white lady serious? Who does she think she’s kidding?” This all comes to a very childish end of course. Henry blows off her fundrairser in an attempt to show Betty who’s boss. Betty, of course, shows up at his office and makes an awful scene, then realizes she is just signing up for another Don but in an older, less attractive body. She politely moves on.

Part of the reason Don is not sleeping is Connie. He making this worse by calling Don in the middle night and insisting on meeting with him. On paper, this is exactly the sort of gayness I have been anticipating between these two for weeks. In practicality, Connie is just a severe narcissist who thinks someone needs to be a witness to every drop of genius that crosses his mind. Don plays along, doing his best to manage his account. Connnie's rambling get Don's creative juices flowing. Connie appreciates the ego boost so much he calls Don his son, more so than his real son. Btw, this exact same thing happened to me. I responsible for client service to this old codger once and his son (on more than one occasion) called him asking him for money in my presence. His son was my age at the time (say 30) so it was really embarrassing. Anyway, all I ever did was help the old timer out. He really appreciated it and took me to a steak dinner when I moved on. He even let me drive his Lexus. He was a really nice guy, much unlike Connie. Anyway, Don builds an above average campaign based on this Connie’s crazy talk. Connie hates it claiming that Don ignored some random comment about the moon and storms out. Don’s cigarette makes a dramatic return and demands that Connie respects his smoldering hot genius, but in a subtle understated way. Don’s cigarette then convinces him that he needs a pick me up to remind himself exactly how awesome and in control he really is.

Cut to Don trolling for chicks in the dead of night. He goes back to the spot where he had previously seen Hot4Teacher jogging (before jogging btw, jogging was a creation of the 70s). Not finding her wandering around he happens upon her at home AND KNOCKS THAT DOWN. Hot4Teacher who, for all her hippy-ness, is just as f****ed up as Don makes a series of meta-comments of just how little Don is thinking this all through. What Hot4Teacher doesn’t know is that Betty has dropped the bar for hiding their issues to an all time low. So low that Don is free to bang the entire town of Ossning at the local Pathmark if he is so inclined. Don almost pleads the line “I want you. Doesn’t that mean anything to someone like you” Note to writers - I find this a little too on the nose. Don is very needy but also needs desperately to hide that (and everything else about him) in a thick shield of cool. So, please a little consistency next time.

The entire Connie withholding affection from Don dynamic is SO GAY that they have draw a parallel between this interaction and Sal’s interaction with Lucky Strike Jr. Sal is a totally awesome commercial director now and Lucky Strike Jr. needs Sal to direct him in some home movies. So much so that he gets a little drunk and FEELS SAL up. Sal feigns heterosexuality, poorly. LS Jr. is so offended he knocks down several more drinks and demands that Harry fire Sal. Harry pulls a chickensh*t move and does nothing, hoping the issue goes away. LS Jr. makes a big scene and storms out drawing the ire from a suddenly under-used Roger who in turn is wasted on a ‘dramatic’ scene with Don. BOO Roger Drama…BOO

Lastly, Carla quietly judges her way through a scene where Betty wonders if the US is just “not ready” for Civil Rights. Carla is now officially shooting both her and Don “you white people are just stupid” looks. This is going somewhere. Pumped about it.

Mad Men Episode 8 - The Souvenir

This week Betty suddenly and inexplicably rocked.

Not to worry though, Peter more than makes up for the suckage quota
More... If there is a theme this week its kissing and no, I'm not joking.

First Betty's arc - Betty "makes a stand" with the hausfraus for greater Westchester County on the Pleasanton development proposal. Thanks to the influence of Henry the Gubernatorial aide. Creepy Henry kisses Betty. She does not reject his advances... much to my surprise. Last season's finale was the first time we saw this danger streak in Betty. I will be honest I attributed that to a fear that the world was ending. Given where she and Don are in their progression maybe she feels the same thing right now. Still she is somewhat triumphant and greats Don with a smile he finds surprising. Later, she insists she join Don on his business trip with Conrad Hilton to Rome. It's somewhat interesting to learn things about Betty here. As an Ossning housewife she is generally painted as a vapid occasionally childlike woman. In Rome, she is a new woman. She speaks servicable Italian, she understands how much a porter earns a week and an appropriate tip. She impresses Don. Me too. Nice job Betty. There is a rather sudden visible transformation mid trip where Betty suddenly looks very modern and Don looks downright dated. So much so, that two Italian sleezeballs hit on her and mock him in a bar. This is where things get interesting - they actually do some light role playing in the bar, acting as though he is picking her up for the first time. This is obviously, for Don's benefit. Who again is impressed and suddenly turned on. This is sort of important - I think its the first time in a very long time that Don sees Betty as his equal. Many of his trysts are with self possessed women. Much of his frustration with Betty is that she seems entirely dependent on him. Anyway it works and they are suddenly back in the throes of a passionate romance. The key part is that it does not go away. Upon returning home, Betty is still - I dunno - self actualized(?). She handles a Sally issue deftly and later gives her daughter an important life lesson on the importance of a first kiss. Betty has turned a corner.

Pete on the other hand, has no such luck. He sucks. Trudy goes away for the summer leaving Campbell the tragic bachelor. While throwing out the trash he comes across a distraught au par who has ruined her mistress's dress. Peter in what looks like a fit of manners offers to resolve the issue on her behalf. A quick trip to the department store and an assist from Joan (come back Joan!) resolves the issue pretty quickly. Peter tries to encourage some celebration, which our little fraulein wants nothing of. Peter gathers himself (gets drunk) and somewhat forces himself on her. Campbell, Campbell, Campbell you had me fooled. Of course, mega chump that he is, he allows his equally sleezy neighbor to chase him off and then basically dissolves when Trudy comes back from holiday. Peter, I know Don Draper and you sir are no Don Draper. Trudy bails him out of his guilt a little too easily for my liking. Trudy, go be Sal's beard - he would treat you better. Peter grow a pair...please, we saw that under all that childishness there was a woman in Betty, when are you going to man up?

More Joan, less Peter!