Weeknight Addictions

Cold weather, a diminishing work ethic, and DVR means that I am watching more drama-laden reality shows. Current favorite: The City on MTV. It is not possible to leave the couch during this 10 - 10:30 PM window.

Crap, I never expected to be glued to this storyline. Stylish fashionistas and staggeringly handsome rockers mix and mingle though all the hot spots of Manhattan (mostly ones I have never heard of).

I can't remember what my life was like in NYC when I was 24, but I am pretty sure it was not like this.

By the way, I am taking notes so that in a few weeks, we can start to follow around the cast and hit on them. It's never too late to revisit the past.

Transcript from My Not-iPhone

Evil: Mamacita, I really think the Hose needs a new design, but I can’t seem to get my act together to work on it. Can you help?

Mamacita: Now, Evil, you know that one of your NY Resolutions was to try to be less of a slacker. Put a plan together and you can make it happen.

Evil: I am trying, Mamacita. But I just can’t seem to get off my couch. I can't even text message with more than one finger. And, no one is as good in executing as you.

Mamacita (blushing): Well, okay, Evil. I have many projects going on right now, but I suppose I can try.

So, if you haven't noticed, the Hose is currently undergoing a redesign. Thanks for your patience, until we get the right theme going!

My impression of a Mamacita post

Reflection on 2008

In reviewing past posts from 2008, I realize I don't have that many great ones - mostly complaining about KenTak3 or oogling over puppies. I can try to do better in 2009, and write some insightful things about politics, books, or even some dates, but until then, I'm still in the same rut.

Here's a video of my sister's puppy, Max (soon to arrive on Dec 30). I'll try to get her to install a puppy-cam - maybe that will generate more Hose traffic and revenue.

HAPPY FESTIVUS to everyone!

The Hosers Have Spoken

I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised. When I posted this poll, some of the choices were offered just as a courtesy nod to various articles we've seen over the past few months. I didn't think they would actually collect votes. (Do you like how that comment obscurely avoids mentioning which ones?)

At least the good news is that no one thinks we should dump the current staff of Hose writers and get new ones.

I'm a bit sad that dog tails didn't win, but I guess third place isn't bad. (I know you had our backs on that one, Nora.)

Well, xTian, to hold our readership, it looks like you'll need to round up some good Date or Die material. The more racy and inappropriate, the better, and it would help if you could throw some puppy stories in there too.

We Need You!

Folks -

That time of year has crept up on us again, where we conduct our annual reader survey!

You might think that writers of the Hose are just narcissistic fools that like to pontificate about our life problems, impose our political beliefs, and disparage one another. But I assure you this is not the case. YOU are our loyal readers, and we exist for you, just to make you happy. We need your input to make sure that there is quality material for you to absorb each day when you come to the site, that you are learning something new to expand your horizons, and that you are just getting a laugh at Xtian or Manolo when you need one.

So, dear readers, please take our latest survey above to aid our top Hose strategists (sorry if you’re not in this elite group) in shaping content for the upcoming year.

Subway Scene

Today on the way to work, I almost fainted. It was very hot in the subway and there were many people squished in the car. The train was delayed in the station for a long time, because they were "conducting an investigation up ahead". People were cranky. I was very nervous. I asked KenTak3 many times if he wanted to get out, and he said "No".

Eventually, I felt very sweaty, and I had to take my coat off. Then, I thought I was going to fall over, but we were in-between stations so this was not an option. By the time we reached 34th Street, I had to push out of the car and could not see anything. Everything was white and I could not see. I could not walk straight.

Luckily, I hung on and did not pass out. I crouched down in the middle of the platform and was breathing very much. I did not want to be unconscious on the dirty platform with a big scene of people around. Actually, no one asked me to help. Maybe because KenTak3 had the situation visibly under control.

I had to squat on the ground for a few minutes, and then KenTak3 walked me to a cafe for some coffee and Gatorade.

I wonder if there were any doctors in the subway, and if KenTak3 wasn't there, what would have happened. This was not a good start to the week.

Little Bear

Well, Evil and I could not get it together and commit on time-sharing a new puppy, but I was able to convince My Sister to get a nephew of Bruno Bear before the rest of the litter was snatched up. (He's the one with his tongue hanging out in the above photo.)

He is currently 4 weeks old, and MS will pick him up in North Carolina at the end of December.

They are several videos but this one is cute and MS's puppy gets some good air time. Maybe we need to have a poll for the puppy's name.

Time Out to Complain

I am taking a brief Time Out from working to write a post. It is very important to Bruno (and me) that Nora is happy, so I am trying to come up with some new good material. Unfortunately, I only have 3 things to gripe about that have made me crotchety over the past few days, which I will share:

1. I can not get to Facebook from work because it is a restricted site, which means that I can only play Evil in Scrabble once per day after working hours. I am going to speak to our Information Security Officer about this restriction that has been imposed on my company, because I truely believe that it would be more beneficial for the company, and I would be more productive if I was able to network with people externally and play competitively against them in Scrabble. This is not an ideal time to be challenging Management, but I am giving this serious thought.

2. Since it is very cold outside, I have been noticing that everyone is sporting new winter-warm-wear, likely purchased at deep discount because of the recession. Long coats, short coats, puffy coats, straight coats, etc. Well, everyone looks pretty slick in their new coats, except for the people who are wearing straight wool coats with a vent in the back. The reason is because they do not remove the thread that is stitched in an "X" holding the vents together. When you purchase a new coat, you should generally take all the tags and extra threads off, and this includes the "X" thread on the back of the coat. Instead, they are walking around with an open vent that is stuck together at the bottom, so not truely "vented" and they look silly. Frustrating.

3. Finally, some work repairmen came to our building yesterday to paint the hallway and our apartment door. When I got home at 10:00 PM, our apartment door was painted shut and I had to borrow a butter knife from our neighbors upstairs to slice through the dried paint to open the door, consequently ruining the new paint job. Also, there was a big bug in the apartment, so after I got in so I killed him with KenTak3's slipper and left the slipper there so he could clean up the mess after he came home later. Why is he out later than me on a school night anyway?

The only consolation is that it is soon the weekend, and there will hopefully be a Hose gathering of sorts and some binge drinking.

Clean Sweep

What an exciting week it's been! First Obama, and now KillerB #1 in landslide victories. There's so much hope for the future.

KillerB #1, it looks like the voters believe you should spend time with your lovely new wife instead of training a puppy, are too cheap to buy you a drink (with the recession and all), and don't think you need any fashion help.

Good news! Just a little muscle milk to help with your flexing in photos.

Please Fess Up

Who was the other person that voted that the slumping economy will put The Hose out of business? I am really interested in knowing. I was the other two votes. How can the rest of you be so in denial? C'mon People!

SAD State of Affiars

I'm suffering from a little seasonal effectiveness. It's so cold outside, Xtian ditched me yesterday for another event, and then posted on Facebook about how much fun he was having, and, Evil keeps playing Rock Band and doesn't invite me over, even though I sang at 100% for us last time.

The financial maelstrom is making me anxious so I can't buy anything on eBay, KenTak3 is working like a madman to save the economy, and Bruno is still with my parents so I am alone all the time in Brooklyn just with a couple of random mice.

I think I want to get another dog. Bruno's sister gave birth to some new puppies and I really want to get another one. I think it will be comforting.

Does anyone else want to get one and time-share with me? I think this is going to be her last batch. Please?

Wedding Bells

There have be a lot of weddings lately around the Hose Offices. The Mamacita married her favorite robot, and the Killer Bs tied the knot. Congratulations to all involved.

In preparation for one last wedding, Catjjy and I cooked up a list for the pending nuptuals of Sparks sister. It was her task but she asked me for some input. This is not quite what she used but I thought it was fun enough to throw up on the blog...

Greetings from Portugal!

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted pictures of KenTak3 and Bruno Bear's recent nuptuals. Good job on capturing those touching moments! Luckily, I am getting the benefit of the vacation since the little guy doesn't travel so well.

KenTak3 and I are tearing up Portugal. So far, we have been traveling back and forth from the bar to the pool.

Yesterday, we thought we would take a little break and play some golf, only to find that you need a handicap of less than 28. If you can't prove this, you have to take a lesson and be evaluated on whether you are worthy to play on the course.

Booooo! Back to the bar, it is.

There are things here that remind us of the Hose constantly. We are trying to interact with the locals as much as possible to absorb some culture. Today, while sighseeing we came across some little boys. They seem pretty happy even though they were wearing plastic.

Stay tuned for more adventures.

The Coup Begins

In light of recent controversies over the age of certain Olympic athletes, I would like to ensure the contributors of The Hose comply with the minimum age requirement of 10. The writing quality of writing of X-tian and Evil leads me to believe that we are in violation of this rule. Please submit your evidence as soon as possible.

G. Love & Special Sauce

Wowee! After taking a look at the latest poll, I am thoroughly intrigued.

It's a deadlock, and that never happens. Usually, the answer is inundulatingly obvious.

What is transpiring? I'm thinking about changing my vote to throw things out of this neat and orderly fashion.

Also, to be truthful, I'm not sure I really get the poll question. Can someone explain it? I wanted to vote for "A snow cone" but there's nowhere for a write-in.

Summer Reading Help

Yesterday, X-Tian called me after I emailed him that I was depressed. What a good friend he is. I have decided that I am not interesting or well-read enough as most people or all my friends. Can people please recommend some good books to read?

Date or Die: Tips from Dmitri

Did anyone else listen to this? I'm not completely sure if it is legit, but it is pretty funny.

The back story is that my friend's friend's friend from work and her friend were out one night in the San Francisco Marina district and were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the girls, Olga, ends up meeting this guy Dmitri, and they talk for at the most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Bargain Hunt

I had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond today to get one of those drain catchers - that plastic thing that prevents debris and such from clogging your drain.

Well, I found myself in Filene's Basement looking at discounted jeans. And right when I went to answer my cell phone, this Asian woman wearing scrubs takes the last pair of jeans from the rack. Argh!

So I follow her around the store giving her dirty looks and sighing kind of loudly. Finally, she puts them down, and I grab them to try on. They didn't fit anyway, but I'm not a bad person, right? She should be saving lives or something else like that.

Crazy Face Time

Periodically, I like to give some face time to Bruno. I think it makes Nora happy, and also keeps him competitive among all the toddlers on the Hose.

This post isn't all praises, though.

You might have heard that KenTak3 and I have a merger forthcoming, and if you know him at all, you will not be surprised to hear that he wanted some glamour shots of the two of us recently. I was pretty reluctant, but he said he wanted to capture some memories. And, then he pleaded that he really wanted Bruno to participate since Bruno is important in our lives, so I finally agreed.

One outstandingly humid, near-record day a few weeks ago, we find ourselves cavortiong around the Meatpacking district: click, click, click. I guess it was pretty hot for all of us, but we managed to get through the hour or so of pictures. Except for Bruno. He didn't do too well in the heat, I guess. Check out this picture of what would otherwise be a great photo of me and KenTak3, until Bruno went in there and messed it up.

Thanks Bruno!