Shocking Revelation Of The Day

Evil

OMG, the actress who played Alex P. Keaton's mom is GAY! I must admit, I did "experience my changing body" more than once while thinking about her. She was quite the looker in her day. (BUT YIKES! Look at that pic of her now. Scaaaaaary. Halloween was two months ago, lady!)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (cough) (cough)

Finally, my sleep disorder can be addressed in a manner appropriate with the condition

As a proud son of NJ, I would like to thank our NJ's favorite sons (and dare I say John the Baptist of the Green) for all their proselytizing all these many years. Meth, Red...your efforts were not in vain...


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Europe = Crazy (and intolerant)

I'm not some sort of apologist, but I can see why a lot of countries felt the right to give the US grief the last few years. We haven't necessarily been on our best behavior. But for all the criticisms that we get, you'd think Europe would be some sort of egalitarian utopia where it's nothing but high fives and free healthcare. But I'd say they're really just crazy intolerant.

It starts with the French, with their long running debate on whether to allow head scarves in school, or to allow Aram women to wear their creey eye slit outfits (I think they are called TRON robes). Then there are the Danish cartoonists who ran out of things to draw until they remembered Mohammed was a hoot. Kinda douchey, but I can let poor taste slide.

But yesterday the Swiss - the SWISS - took the intolerent craziness to a new level when they outlawed minarets. Yes, that's right, they made an architectural flourish illegal. That is the most batshit crazy thing I've ever heard of. The vote wasn't close either - 58% supported it.

Is this the craziest thing ever? Is there a war on balconies coming that I'm not prepared for?

Inappropriate FB Comment Of The Day

Evil

I am shocked by few things these days, but I must say, I was taken aback by this comment a wee bit. HAH!

Tiger Woods Questions

Evil

This is apparently a Tiger Woods family xmas photo from a few years ago. So many questions...

1. Why does Tiger look like a vein is about to burst in his forehead? Is taking this pic THAT stressful for him?

2. How nice is the Woods family to invite their Mexican nanny to join in on the family photo? Sweet.

3. Why does the Woods family need a nanny to begin with?!? Isn't Elin... a nanny?

4. Who are the people depicted in the statue in the background? That looks like Earl and Tiger Woods, right? How much of an arrogant douche do you need to be to post in a photo with your own statue? I always knew I had good basis for hating Tiger.

Evil Update

Evil

It's 1pm... just came back from taking the HSK exam (it's a national standardized exam to test mandarin proficiency). The bad news is that I think I did terribly. Almost certainly did worse this 2nd time around, even though I felt I was better prepared having taken it once already. The good news is that I bought a bottle of Absolut on the way home and will now commence drinking!

Things That Make Me Say "Good Gravy"

There is an ad on CNN.com from CSX - the big train / freight company. In their ad, which I trust because I'm a High Flying Marketing Executive, they state that they can "move a ton of freight 436 miles on a single gallon of fuel" - to which I say, "Good Gravy!!!!"

I can barely move my 1/12th of a ton down the street with less than a gallon of beer or a pound of steak in my belly.

Dreamin'

Evil

I had three separate dreams last night! Two of them involved hooking up. And the third one (the most detailed dream) involved me madly running away from a massacre. I was being chased by various gunmen. One of the people in the dream looked much like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, but I can't remember if he was one of the bad guys or one of the innocent bystanders. But I do remember that he got his hand blown off.

It's An Unsafe, Unsafe World

Evil

Just read this posted by one of my FB friends:

Can you please help me find a home for Blackie, a 2-3 year old male cat who has been living in our backyard? He has an awesome personality, and is very lovable. Blackie adores being petted and held. Clearly he once lived with people, and would really appreciate a warm home. We have taken Blackie to the vet, and he's been neutered and received all of his shots. The only challenge is that Blackie is FIV positive, so he can't live in a house with other cats. Nonetheless, with proper nutrition, Blackie can live a healthy, long life. Ping or call if you would like to know more about this sweet boy.

I read that and was like... FIV positive? What is that?! Then I looked it up. Feline AIDS? Whoa, mind blowing. I never knew such a thing existed. It's an unsafe world, y'all. Why can't we go back to the late 60s and early 70s?

xTian and Evil Pose as Hipsters

“There are an a**load of motherf*ckers in there right now”.

The bouncer outside Jumbo’s Clown Room was exactly the sort of person we had been encountering all weekend, someone very intentionally semi-disheveled and projecting an air of confidence about it that I could never match.
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I wondered aloud if people should hide their mothers, given the sheer numbers of motherf*ckers in the vicinity. Only Evil laughed. When I asked if any of the goth burlesque dancers inside would make me a balloon animal, I was met with blank stares.

I would categorize this as an auspicious end to an entertaining if non traditional engagement/wedding weekend.

Evil and I had met up the day prior in LA. We were in town because the AY (formerly the MPCGEB) was getting married (sometime soon) and she wanted to hold a pre-reception for all her friends. In truth, it’s not obvious to me why I was invited, but I was so I came. I had met her boyfriend maybe twice and both times walked away worried that he was moments from kissing me. Outside of them, the only person I knew there was Evil.

For his part, Evil is properly great friends with the AY and absolutely should be there. So he traveled farther than I, getting on a plane yesterday (though there it was already today) just to make the event. When we met I noticed he was sipping Ginger Ale, Evil admitted that he overdosed on Ambien on the plane and proceeded to vomit in the aisle before he passed out about 1 hour into the flight. I found this hilarious. He did not even seem remotely embarrassed.

He was even less embarrassed when he put on his pork pie hat and suggested we walk two blocks and get in line for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Ostensibly, our agenda was to be invited to Jimmy’s house for Sunday football with the Killers, Tom Cruise’s mom, Adam Corolla and the Sports Guy Bill Simmons. What Evil neglected to mention to me was that he really wanted to see the Twilight kids. That was a major disappointment, no Twilight kids (they were pretaped) and no invite to Sunday football. Evil and I were disappointed. Evil was so disappointed that he ordered a pizza at 3am and ripped it apart.

The weekend itself was more hipster than I expected. There was a visit to the Magic Castle, the rental of the most awesome Korean BBQ Taco Truck, a 5 card no limit texas hold ‘em tournament and me singing a very disturbing rendition of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart Club Band.

Saturday night, we did Dining in the Dark and ate in complete darkness - pretty wild. Coming back from our evening out, Evil and I introduced a brother on the trip with us to In-N-Out and we tore it up animal style at 2am.

It was good to see Evil again…