Manolo Doesn’t Want to Call It a Comeback

About a year ago, I was unceremoniously dumped in what was clearly a fixed and corrupt poll. I disputed the poll results and when that didn’t pan out, I took to the mountains and staged a bit of a revolution. I was doing okay for a while but changing real estate market conditions meant I had to go back to my regular life. I took refuge in my work and tried to keep the banks at bay. You would think I owe them money…oh wait, I do.

As an escape, I also started blogging in the new and improved Hose… That didn’t last too long since I was too busy and my lack of activity had nothing to do with the fact that a lot of nights I stayed home drinking my sorrows away or playing with my Wii (Evil, please mark this as a single entendre).

Every 3-4 months I would come back and scan the Hose and saw how everyone was patting themselves in the back. I saw how snide comments were heaped upon me every few posts. This did not happen with the Bumpasaurus or Sleeve or Cheo (previous members of the Hose). I saw how charts were made up to showcase how the amount of comments per month went up during my absence. Of course, said chart did not take into account that the number of posts per month increased as well. Where is the chart to show that the number of comments were proportional to the number of posts and that said ratio has kept pace, if not decreased through the years?

It seems that the Hose became a popularity contest were quality was eschewed in favor of quantity. Trust me, I know about quantity versus quality. I have slept with quite a few ugly chicks in my day…Nowadays, it seems the Hose now revolves around American Idol and lame “looky-likeys”, and teabagging all in a ploy to pad the numbers in the Google page rankings….

Can’t you see that money and fleeting popularity have blinded you? Can't you see that you sold your souls for the ad revenue?

The Hose has failed to live to the founding tenets of its charter….and I quote “The Hose is like "id Gone Wild". Join us as we fail to push our agendas both online and in real life.”

How are Sparks and Catjjy failing online and in real life? Beautiful family, happily married, probably in the top 1% of wage earner, living in San Francisco, beautiful kid, tons of Facebook friends with photos to prove it…

Where is the emotion exposed? Where is the rawness? The pain? Where are people’s dark and inner secrets? Why doesn’t anyone talk about the time xTian gave himself a roofie? Does anyone make fun of him for his love for Gilmore Girls? Where is the counter to see how many 16-and-under country girls Evil has "erroneously" banged while in China? Why isn’t anyone questioning Killer B’s sexuality? Come on, you kind of have to wonder with all his American Idol reviews...

You see, I was going to comment all this on a random post, but as I was scrolling the Hose, I was very surprised to find my name listed back as one of the contributors…Perhaps it was an editor’s mistake (someone should be fired for this)….I took it as a sign from above (not religious at all but the thingie that moves my chair up and down broke and since I am too lazy to swap it with the one in the office next door, technically the monitor is kind of above me)…

I have decided that I may not be the most popular but my stuff will always be from the heart with no filters...it will be raw, emotional, personal…it will be just like the original Hose except that my posts will include the more/hide feature (once I figure how that damn HTML code works...Satan's spawn, I tell you).

More to come...that is unless my access is revoked once again...and please, don't call it a comeback because I'm gonna knock you out [huuuhhh!!!].... More...