The Hose

Evil

OPEN LETTER TO MY FRIENDS
I hate you all. I wish I had "real friends," like Mr. Shoulders does. How many times have I casually mentioned that "I'm going to drink myself into a hole"? People, I am practically begging for an intervention here. Let me recap for you yesterday's shenanigans:

1. Woke up at around noon.
2. Ate a piece of bread. The label read "Packaged on May 30." Yesterday was June 12. WHAT?
3. Ran 10 miles.
4. Rushed over to Columbia to crash the business school's Thursday night happy hour at Uris Hall.
5. Quickly downed 4 beers. (Free beer. Woooo!) Should have eaten more than just a piece of bread during the day.
6. Went home and stumbled into bed.
7. Woke up repeatedly in the middle of the night due to being bitten by bed mites. This is what happens when you wash the sheets but dont actually put the sheets back on the bed for 5 days (and running).

Just to recap... Friends: you suck. Hahahha.