The Hose

Evil
As much as I want it to be like 1998 again, it's clear that things have changed. Mr. Shoulders got his nickname because back in the day, he could easily be mistaken for an Indian Tim Hardaway, built like a bull and flashing a killer crossover. To my surprise, Mr. Shoulders comes back from London all trimmed down. Don't get me wrong --he's not gayishly thin, like an ex-collegiate-swimmer we might know-- just lean and mean. Actually, just lean. What happened to the meanness? The rage against women? The white-knuckled fist cocked and ready to knock the lipstick right off someone's face? This was a new Mr. Shoulders and I demanded to know why:

"Are you just off your game tonite?" I asked.
"No... I'm not really into this scene anymore," he told me.
"Are you GAY?"
He replied with a calm "No," and nothing more.

WHAT? Where is the defensive "Nooooo!" following by the crazy flexing of the shoulders and delts a la The Hulkster? I need to get to the bottom of this. My going theory is that Mr. Shoulders now has a Knightsbridge or South Kensington young lady that he answers to. Everyone reading this should help full court press the issue.