Outdated Movie Review - The Reader

Evil


This movie is utterly ridiculous, in so many ways. More on that in a bit, but first, the prerequisites...

This movie stars the incomparable Kate Winslet, her saggy breasts (gentlemen beware: these are not the perky young breasts you saw in Titanic!), and her hairy 'pits. The movie also stars Ralph Feins in a tour-de-force performance where he manages to look very young and very old in the same movie.

Okay, now back to why this movie is ridiculous...

First, the movie is set in Germany, yet everyone is speaking English with German accents. Wha?? Confusing. That's what.

The beginning of the movie features a most improbably scenario where a 16 year old young man gets seduced by an older woman. Cmon, people. I've basically been praying for this scenario every day since i was about 16 and it's never happened.

The middle of the movie features many sex scenes. Kate Winslet's saggy breasts aside, I give the sex scenes a rating of three tissues.

The second majorly confusing this about this movie is that halfway through, it suddenly stops being a soft core porn flick and turns into a Nazi war crimes trial. WHAT??? I was totally lost at this point.

This movie's tagline is "How Far Would You Go To Keep A Secret?"... I won't reveal any spoilers in this review, but let's just say the secret is utterly improbable and lame. It would never happen. For any reasonable person, the secret that Kate Winslet ends up hiding is like #98 on their list of things to hide, right behind #97: forgetting to take out the garbage last week.

Final rating: 3.0/5.0 stars.

Update: Eagle Eye Sparks correctly pointed out that Kate Winslets boobs are blurred out in the pic above. I didn't notice it when I pulled the pic from Google Images, but it does appear that the pic has been modified. If you wanna see Kate Winslet's boobs from this movie, click here. NSFW NSFW NSFW!