Motown Week - what an exciting week this wasn't. Boo. Bored. How could this happen! How could so much mediocrity make it into the top 10? This is the long slow part of the season when we learn who we really like, and who we have to put up with for awhile. Let's recap.
Matt – Let’s Get it on. Marvin Gaye. I have a bias against this dude, and I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe because he is just a normal guy – like he could be my friend perhaps – and my friends certainly aren’t worthy of fame, so why should he be?
Chris – How Sweet it is. Marvin Gaye. Chris performed it well – and I’m starting to get a feel for what his ‘style’ is. I think this guy is a lot more bankable star than Matt – and goodness knows there isn’t room for both of them in the final 4.
[If you are keeping score at home – 2 guys, 2 neckties. Scott coming up after the commercial. I think this will be painful…..]
Scott – You Can’t Hurry Love. Diana Ross and the Supremes. He’s wearing salmon colored pants. Is it fair to hold this against him? He also informs us he is single, so now he and Evil have something in common. Also, it was a weak performance. I think he has the worst vocals of anyone left in the show, so make that 2 things in common.
[Seacrest pronounces “crayons” “crowns”, which is weirder than pronouncing “ten” “tin”. ]
Megan – For Once in My Life. She received, and deserved the judge kiss of death when the first comment from ¾ judges was that they liked her outfit. More importantly, I’ve figured out who she is - Jenny McCarthy, circa Singled Out. Looks like her. Sounds like her. Seems fun like her. Too bad she sucked ass tonight.
[Four performances in and I haven’t heard anything I would listen to a second time. Anoop is up next. After last week expectations are high!]
Anoop. Oh Baby Baby. Smoky Robinson and the Miracles. It takes some nuts to sing a Smoky Robinson song to Smoky Robinson. But isn’t Smoky just thinking “royalties!!!!”? He has dollar signs in his eyes. Papa got a brand new bag. Regarding the song, Anoop is back to his old tricks – sucking ass, in falsetto. Yawn. This song lasted longer than my 8th grade dance.
[I don’t like it when the judges tell the contestants what they should do next week. Where else on earth do judges give advice about what contestants should do in a competition?]
Michael. Ain’t to Proud to Beg. Temptations. Best advice of the season from a guest performer: “Pound it. This is your last chance with your woman. Lay it all on the line.” Dude didn’t pound it though. It pounded him.
What the hell? We’re 6 performances in and this has been one of the most unremarkable nights ever! Is it me? Am I crazy? Do I hate Motown?
Best judge’s comment of the season: “At this stage of the season, it isn’t about singing, it’s about artistry” – from THE NEW GIRL.
I think next week she needs to call these judges on their bluff and sing the phone book. They keep telling her she can do it. So let’s see it Lil. I suggest starting in the Zs and working backwards.
Adam. Tracks of My Tears. Smoky Robinson. Doing his best Mario Lopez looky likey, he gets all anti-Adam on us. No eyeliner. Xtian style hair. Just when you thought he was a one trick pony BAM. This solidifies his front-runner status. A Smoky Robinson standing O doesn’t hurt.
Danny. Get Ready. Danny is almost as adorable as Jonathan Lipnicki (the human head weighs 8 pounds).
Alyson - Pappa Was A Rolling Stone. Best performance of the night. I've never voted before, but feel like I should now.
All in all - this show gets 3 stars out of 10. The only performance I watched twice was Adam (man crush). Given the amount of ass sucking we saw tonight, there are reasonably 5-6 people that could be on the blocks tomorrow night. Yikes.
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