Manolo Sits on the Exit Row

I recently flew in to an undisclosed location for a "live" taping of the Hosecast...it was set in a neutral location just in case it came to fisticuffs...and please, do not ask about location. Said location will not be revealed since we don't want a bunch of Hosers saying we didn't meet them for drinks or something even though I was there for almost a week and said location was full of Hosers...I am sure the Hosecast will be posted as soon as xTian finds any decent material in our train wreck of a conversation...

I do want to take a moment though to thank the Hose editorial board for flying me in. I flew coach which is less than what I am accustomed to but we are in recession after all....I guess I have always been okay with coach as long as I get to sit in the emergency row. And you must sit in the emergency row that reclines...For one, you have more legroom and second, the people in front of you can't recline their seat. I think the only drawback is you can't lift the arm rest to make more room to the side. You also have to listen to the speech and say that you will help with the door in case of an emergency yada yada yada...

More...Anyway, I get on the plane and in my haste to get out of the aisle, I threw everything in the overhead bin. As soon as I sat down, I realized my mistake...Oh well, I guess I will pass the time watching a movie or an episode of Family Guy on my Iphone...oh wait, I can't...the sun is reflecting of my screen and blinding the fellow sitting in the aisle seat...so sorry sir...I will put it away but I will need to get up to get some reading material from the overhead bin...Two minutes later, I get up to get my laptop and headphones. About 5 minutes later, I get up again to get the power supply for my laptop...

I was feeling like a total douche....breaking all sorts of plane protocol...that is, until a minute before take off, a fellow passenger comes rolling down the aisle...I say rolling because the guy must have been 300 pounds...my fellow row mate and I look at each other and I know what he is thinking...please don't let this guy sit next to us...I am not worried...there is no way they would sit this guy in an emergency row...he comes to our row and mumbles something...he then pushes and shoves his carry on to the overhead bin with no concern whatsoever for the items already in there...he then squeezes himself into the middle seat...kind of glad for the metal armrest between us because this meant our butts wouldn't be touching (by the way, in all my plane rides, I have never traveled next to a beautiful woman but I digress). He then elbows me out of position in the never ending arm rest battle. He also calls the office and loudly starts complaining to his secretary/mistress about his seating arrangement. The plane finally takes off and I proceed to recline my seat, except I can't. It seems the button is broken...Defeated, I finished my magazines, lowered the window shade, hugged the wall and dozed off.

I wake up an hour or two into the flight as he opens the window shade and notice that he is flipping through my reading material. They are just magazines so I say nothing, but I do lower the shade and try to go back to sleep. Only thing is I can't fall asleep since now I am afraid he will just take my laptop and start playing minesweeper or something. 20 minutes later, he puts the magazines away in his seat pocket, turns on his cellphone and tries to make a phone call...I proceed to tell him cell phones are not allowed during flight...

The plane finally lands and everyone starts picking up their stuff except this guy is picking up my stuff....what the fuck! I kindly request my stuff back and tell the guy off on a glorious rant about plane protocol and the social compact...

What a douche!