Bad Robot!

Sometimes, there is no upside to having an android on your side.

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A week ago Saturday, we all sat in a hipster d*uchebag bar and agreed it would be a good idea to hike over the long weekend.

Ever the attentive planner, kentak3 checked in at midweek and suggested that due to rain there should be no hiking on Saturday. As Saturday rolled around, I realized it was a gorgeous day and one that demanded we hike. I phoned KenTak3 around noon. After much hemming and hawing, I managed to pick a trail. He managed to round up turd hurdler and 5 completely random people at a bus stop (mostly to minimize the gayness) and we were off!

We got to the trail at around 4pm. It was a 4 hour hike labeled 6 miles at a moderate pace. We were confident we would get through it before the sun went down, though some in our party echoed concern. Off we went, armed only with a cheerful narrative of a trail, but no map.

We were in trouble from the start. The narrative suggested we walk south. With no compass we had no idea which way was in fact south. Rather than ask someone, we just bounded in a direction that looked rather "obvious", as several people were emerging from there. About a half mile in Kentak observed that it was a little more strenuous that he suspected. About 2 miles in, as we looked up a mountainside at what was tantamount to cliff jumping, I had a panic attack, questioned my own manhood and realized we were completely wrong.

At around 8 miles, as darkness creeped in, we ran towards what sound of cars. This was shortly after a helpful gay couple with a pitbull laughed at turdhurdler and I as we asked how to get back to civilization. Soon we were out! Good thing too as it was dark. We walked along a highway till we came upon a train station. iPhones told us that we were about 8 miles from where we left the cars. Turdhurdler suggested this was a "Grade-C" effort in terms of planning and execution and held me responsible. I rightly pointed out that if not for me, he probably would not have gotten off the couch all day.
As we parted ways, the Turdhurdler suggested I go "F*ck myself"

Later that night, Kentak sent me the map above, proving we had been wrong from our first step.

Still that left me wondering, what's the good of having a robot if he doesn't come with a built in compass?