The Universe of Attractive Women

I got into a rather involved conversation with Lil A the other day that just has not left my mind. Somewhat randomly we started discussing 500 Days of Summer and its potential as a movie (solid) and a soundtrack (incredibly high). This conversation took us to Zooey Deschanel and inspired me to write this. Somewhere in there Lil A challenged me to categorize ZD as "cute" or "hot". Arguing that she was more than likely "cute' given her height (short).
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I was bothered by this. I don't think height has anything to do with hotness. I asked her if Katy Perry was then hot by virtue of simply being a taller version of Zooey Deschanel. She said yes. I pushed back. I agreed ZD was "cute" and KP was "hot" but height had nothing to do with it. Katy was also slutty and that's what makes her hot. Zooey Deschanel, more than likely has a great sense of humor and that makes her cute.

I expanded on this later at a taco truck - to myself of course - Lil A had long since gone home to focus on more practical things - her forthcoming wedding maybe. There I came up with 4 buckets; I think they are mutually exclusive and completely exhaustive (MECE). I think you can take any woman you have ever found attractive and place her into one and only one of these buckets.

HOT - Sex. Thats the first and primary thought that comes to your mind; stuff like "Is she en route to getting sex?", "Is she coming back from having sex?", "how likely is she to have sex with me?", "Is she glistening because she is in the throes of sex right now and not because its the middle of July". Examples include: Katy Perry, Megan Fox

CUTE - In a coffee shop, overhearing her speaking to someone else, you can't help but smile or maybe laugh - maybe she's charming maybe she's funny. She's awesome - it takes ten words to notice her but once you don you're done for. Examples include Zooey Deschanel, Parker Posey (mid 90s), Jillianne Harris from the Bachelorette (but only right after make up)

BEAUTIFUL Borderline abstract. She is the first person you notice in the coffee shop. She photographs impeccably. It's hard to not weep. Examples include Jennifer Connelly(forever), Alexis Blendel

LOVELY - There is a classic-ness to the look of women in this group, they are attractive not only today but would be at any point in the history of humanity. A section of this group is also reserved for women from other groups who have crossed their mid 40s. Examples include Leighton Meester, Catherine Zeta Jones


I think this is right. Thoughts?