The State Of My Game

Evil

Man, I can't make anything happen with any girl right now. Nothing. No game. What game I used to have has completely left me.

If I were playing basketball, I'd be dribbling the ball off of my foot. If I were playing baseball, my only hope of getting to first base would be getting hit by the pitch. If I were playing football, I'd be cut before the end of training camp. If I were playing hockey, the puck would hit me smack in the mouth and I'd get sent off for stitches.

If scouts came to watch my game, they wouldn't say that I'm a five-tool player. Right now, I'm a zero-tool player. The ref keeps calling penalties on me. The ump keeps punching me out. The ref just T'd me up. Damn, I just got sent to the penalty box! Yellow card? Red card? I keep getting them and I don't even know what they are.

I used to be a player. I used to be a contender. Now what?

(Feeling sorry for myself. That's what.)