A Winner

Evil

Doesnt Stephon look great in a Celtics jersey? It's as if he were born to wear it.

In Stephon's first game as a Celtic... the Celtics win! Stephon is a winner. The Knicks never gave him a fair shake.

Scene From An Elevator

Evil

The elevator door in my apartment building is closing but I rush in just in time. There are four other people already in there and the suddenly turn and stare at me because I bolted into the elevator like a mad man.

Two of the people are bulky white dudes. They look Eastern European to me. At least, that is my guess because in what other part of the world are guys still wearing denim jackets (one of jackets was really a denim vest).

The other two people were Chinese girls. One was decent looking, but the other was difficult on my eyes. The prettier one is fussing with her lipstick. The uglier one standing very close to one of the dudes. He's shifting his weight from foot to food.

I appears the girls do not speak anything other than Chinese. It appears that the dudes do not speak Chinese.

We hit the 8th floor and one guy, one girl gets off. We hit the 14th floor and one guy, one girl gets off.

What did I just witness here? Two unlikely girlfriend/boyfriend pairings? Or some prostitution about to go down?

$2

I like $2 bills. Ever since I was young I've carried one in my wallet or money clip. I don't know if I believe in good luck, but I do believe in carrying a $2 bill. I don't ever spend my $2 bills, but now and then I'll give them away - a salvation army collection, my nephew, whatever. Back when Xtian and I were playing kickball in the summer I dropped into a deli on the way to our game to buy a Budweiser tall boy. I paid with a $10, and the dude behind the counter, in this dumpy little corner store, gave me 4 $2 bills as change, so I gave them to members of Kicks and Giggles. We won.

Anyway, I went to the bank last weekend, and asked for some $2 bills, because the one in my wallet is pretty tattered. They said they didn't have any, and kinda laughed at me for asking. So now whenever I walk past a bank, I keep can't help but wonder if they have any $2 bills - but I'm afraid to ask now.

Crush of the Week: Gail Simmons

Last night was the season finale of Top Chef. Much to my delight, occasional judge/food sexpot Gail Simmons showed up. I love me some Gail Simmons. Here are a few reasons.

• She's not super thin, which is important if you are supposed to be a food expert. How can I judge your expertise if you don't look like you can eat? I'm looking at you Giada. Clearly this woman can eat.
• She has that sort of crackly, smokey voice. I'm into that. I'm a sucker. Voice is surprisingly important. I mean the Padma is gorgeous we all know this. That said, if I had to listen to her speaking cadence every day I might chop my ears off.
• The last thing, I am too much of a gentleman to mention, but let's just assume I picked this photo because it calls attention to one of her better physical assets.

Rudderless? Genius!

David Brooks has it all wrong. The mistake he made was that he listened to what Jindal said - when all he had to do was hit mute, and he would have realized the Republicans are one step ahead.

It's widely known that the Doppelganger Strategy is an almost infallible approach to securing the White House. That's what Grover Cleveland did - he looked just like the guy, who the guy he defeated, defeated. The only threat to the Republicans in 2012 is if there is another skinny guy with big ears and dark skin running as an independent. Then it is anyone's race.

The rudderless but loyal opposition

Check out David Brooks ripping future Hose Contributor, Bobby Jendel to shreds...



Do you think Brooks was making a Lebowski reference with this talk of being a "Nihilist"?

I smell a drinking game.

One of my friends on facebook called Jendel a coconut...that's a bit over the top I think. Especially when we can point out that he took the name Bobby because he was a fan of the Brady Bunch growing up...

In other news, Olbermann's streak of d-bagery continues with that "oh god" business. Way to be a professional Keith!

7,115

I am an absolute efficient markets guy, which means that I don't believe anyone (including, especially, me) has any idea which stocks are going to go up or down tomorrow or next month or next year. That said, I have a humble prediction upon which I am placing absolutely no money: yesterday's Dow Jones Industrial Average closing mark of 7,115 will be the lowest we see for the rest of our lives.

I'm not exactly rooting for that. I think most Hose readers are in their early 30's, which means we are in the thick of the investing portion of our lives. Low stock valuations help people like us. I would love the opportunity to pack my 401K full of Dow 5,000 index funds. But I don't think I'll get that chance.

Lovely...and HILARIOUS

Get Yourself Together, Man

Evil

Hey John McCain, even though you're not the prez, you're still a public figure. Can you try to look not so disheveled? Sheesh.

My Peoples

Evil

Suck it, Indians! All you've got is Sanjay Gupta. Suck it, Latinos! Gov. Richardson is a clown.

Looks like the Prez is about to nominate Gary Locke to his cabinet. If that works out, there will be two of my slanty eyed people in the cabinet. Woooo!

Chelsea Hotel

KillerB2 and I went to the Chelsea Hotel last night for a fashion thing. While she tried on various dresses, I helped myself to a glass of champagne and wandered the halls looking at the art of various residents that has collected on the walls over the years. This was particularly interesting because in the book I'm reading at the moment - Netherland - the main character lives in the Chelsea Hotel for a while. In one of the scenes he describes some paintings in the lobby - in particular one of a white horse - and sure enough there it was last night. I like it when things come together like that in real life - like when you are walking down a street and suddenly recognize it from a movie, or as the album cover of Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti or something like that.

The staircase was my favorite part though. I think if I lived there I would walk the stairs instead of using the elevator.

KillerB2 bought 2 dresses - which I paid for. Grumble.

CC Sabathia is th in the best shape of his life!

Or he just ate a horse or both...

Take Those Championships Away!

Evil

Hey Bostonians, I will bet you anything that your beloved David "Big Fatty" Ortiz was one of the 'roiders. For that matter, so was your team captain, the heart and soul of your ballclub, Jason Veritek. I hate the fact that these two cheaters absolutely killed the Yankees in recent years. The Red Sox should forfeit all their recent world championships. It's the only fair thing to do.

BTW- Curt Schilling? Also a cheater. Mike Lowell? Also a cheater. Jonathan Papelbon? NO DOUBT a cheater. That guy has 'roid rage every time he hits the mound. Saying that he is "intense" is just a euphemism.

The State Of My Game

Evil

Man, I can't make anything happen with any girl right now. Nothing. No game. What game I used to have has completely left me.

If I were playing basketball, I'd be dribbling the ball off of my foot. If I were playing baseball, my only hope of getting to first base would be getting hit by the pitch. If I were playing football, I'd be cut before the end of training camp. If I were playing hockey, the puck would hit me smack in the mouth and I'd get sent off for stitches.

If scouts came to watch my game, they wouldn't say that I'm a five-tool player. Right now, I'm a zero-tool player. The ref keeps calling penalties on me. The ump keeps punching me out. The ref just T'd me up. Damn, I just got sent to the penalty box! Yellow card? Red card? I keep getting them and I don't even know what they are.

I used to be a player. I used to be a contender. Now what?

(Feeling sorry for myself. That's what.)

Cat Research

Evil

Well, I no longer have a temporary roommate. CM's momma returned home yesterday so she came and took him back. I had never seen a cat with ears so little like CM's so (with the help of Andrea!), I did some Googling and found out a few things.

CM is most likely a Scottish Fold cat. Interesting facts about Scottish Folds:

• "Folds are also known for sleeping on their backs." (Source)

• "They tend to become very attached to their human caregivers and are by nature quite affectionate. Folds receive high marks for playfulness, affection, and grooming, and are often intelligent, loyal, softspoken, and adaptable to home situations and people." (Source)

• "Scottish Folds are hardy cats, much like their barnyard ancestors. Their disposition matches their sweet expression. They have tiny voices and are not extremely vocal. They adore human companionship and display this in their own quiet way." (Source)

Aren't these awesome qualities? Especially sleeping on in its back. That's a manly cat, right there. Once I'm back in NYC, I'll do some research into actually getting one of these little critters.

More Quickies - Meet The Press Edition

Evil

Just finished watching this Sunday's edition of Meet The Press (MTP). Quickies:

• I can't watch MTP without getting just a little angry over how bad a host David Gregory is. He's not getting better by the week. He's arguably getting worse. NBC execs: pull the plug!!!

• Bobby Jindal (Gov. - LA - R.) is a douche bag and self promoter. I have yet to meet one Indian person who actually likes him. No cred with your own people? That's reason enough to be suspicious of him.

• Charlie Crist (Gov. - FLA - R.) does not have natural skin tone. He is orange. Who put him in a microwave and cooked him on High for 5 minutes?
  

Monday Quickies

Evil

• Been reading Le Troiseme's comments lately. Obvious question: Why isn't this guy a writer on The Hose? There should be a special column called "Ask Le Troiseme" and he can answer with his distinctive brand of declarative sentences.

• You lazy mofos!!! No one real-time blogged for the Oscars? Thanks for nuthin'.

• Movie recommendation: Red Cliff. It's a John Woo film, not out in the US yet. But you can download it via Bit Torrent. In Che style, it's a long ass movie, divided into two parts. Part 1 is about 2 hours and part 2 is about 2 hours. Just watched it. Kicks ass.
  

WTF? What Is An Appropriate Response To This?

Evil

Here is the scenario: I try to friend and old junior high school classmate on Facebook. She does not accept but she sends me this note:

Hey [Evil]-
How are you?
I haven't seen you since a brief run-in in high school
I saw one of your comments on an old photo here - it was pretty funny
Anyway I'm not sure if you remember being mean in junior high. Let me know if you do and if you're sorry
Love,
[SS]

What is the last sentence supposed to mean??!! Does she want me to apologize before she accepts my friend request? Because I sure as heck will not do that. Apologize for what? I don't even know. And even if I did know, I would not be apologizing for anything I did as a 12, 13, or 14 year old. I am 32 for goodness sake. Sheesh.

What is an appropriate response to this email? Ignore altogether? Write back? If so, what?

R.I.P.

Evil


Bye bye Socks the Cat.

Pupulist Rants

The world is completely upside down. A handful of traders eating lunch at their desk on the Chicago Merchantile Exchage are the silent majority? I'm not so sure. Sure, not all these dudes make millions of dollars a year but that's still a pretty small sample we are working with here.

As hilarious as this is, I think this is a time for sober thinking and time for a little less of this us vs. them mentality that seems to lead to endless hand wringing on cable news channels.

Outside of Jamie Dimon, I have yet to hear of anyone super pumped about the need for economic stimulus or a housing bail out. But don't we have to think about the alternatives and the people involved. I'm not willing to call everyone who can't pay their mortgage nefarious or a loser. Some are actual victims of giant systematic mess. I'm also not ready to call everyone who works at bank or hedge fund a villain in this madness, lots of them are losing their jobs too.

Is there still an opportunity to soft land housing markets that are in total collapse? I have no idea.

I think its good to not nationalize a bunch of stuff though, that would be a sign of total collapse if I could ever saw one. Meanwhile while we try to take some of the pain out of this, maybe the world will start sorting itself out.

General Question

Evil

Who is a bigger clown: Joe Biden or Ronald MacDonald?

I mean, really. America really missed out by not electing Joe Biden president. He would have been a barrel of laughs. Dare I say, he would have given George W Bush a run for his money in the "stupid comments" department.

Weird Things You Think When Your Brain Is Mostly Asleep

Evil

The cat pic that I posted earlier is a pic that I actually took myself. You see, I am cat sitting this little guy for a few days while his owner is out of town on a business trip. The cat has a name, but as with references to humans, references to cats must also protect anonymity, so we shall call this cat CM.

Last night, CM hopped onto my bed and decided to sleep next to me. I learned the previous night that shooing him off the bed is not effective because he just jumps back on. So last night, I let him stay. But I also had this uneasy feeling: what if I roll over in my sleep and crush the little guy?

Well, sure enough, at one point I wake up and even in my grogginess, I immediately check if CM is still next to me. He is. Then I nudge him a little. He doesn't move. Uh oh! My first thought is that I rolled onto the little guy and killed him.

Then I nudge him a little more. He lifts his head! WHEW. But he looks sluggish. My second thought is that I didn't kill him, but I rolled onto him and left him severely brain damaged. Oh no!

So now I give him a big shove off the bed to see what happens. To my relief, CM finally wakes up fully and scampers off the bed. Whew! I guess I didnt actually crush the little guy. No damage done. Thank goodness.

Suspicions

Evil

I suspect that Bruno has been on Canine Growth Hormones (CGH). I mean, just look at him!

Backstage at the Show

Well, with all this talk about animals, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to post about chihuahuas!

Remember when Evil invited us to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show? I guess Mandarin and foot massages turned out to be way more interesting.

Look what we missed! Primping and blow drying backstage before the big competition. Booooo...

Serious Question

Evil

I occasionally talk about getting a dog. But realistically, I can't pull it off for various reasons: potential busy work schedule, personal travel, small NYC apartment, etc.

But what about a cat? Should I get a cat? Would that be a good idea? Or is it weird and stupid for a guy to own a cat?

A (Post) Drinking Life

As most of you know by now, I have sworn off booze on the orders of my ill prepared crackpot doctor. This has been going on for three weeks now. Several observations:

• What exactly do people do Sunday mornings at 9am? There is literally nothing going on, but I'm awake. Sh*t I'm usually on my way home from the gym by then. What do I do with all this time? Lacking any better ideas, I am debating returning to church.
• So when you are out and about, what do you do with your hands? Stick them in your pockets? That's weird, I can't fold my arms, looks too confrontational. Seriously I'm stuck
• Talking to women is also a challenge, usually I am standing there at a bar with nothing in my hands and it makes me very self conscious. So inevitably I end up being all like "yeah, I'm umm not drinking..." and even I fall asleep before I can finish.

I'm totally at a loss...

Question

Evil

Whenever I see people (girls) post pics of themselves in bikinis on Facebook, I always wonder: did she post this pic because she wants everyone to imagine what she looks like naked? That is the reason, isn't it?

Scenes from the SF Chinese New Year celebration

Makes sense to me.

Dreams

I have been building up my contacts over at the NBA for years. My goal is to get out to All Star weekend, be plugged enough to get invited to some of the better parties and bang a groupie who confuses me for Luis Scola's agent.

Some people dream of fame and fortune. I lack that kind of imagination. I also seem to not be as imaginative as Shaq. What a showman!

Grover Cleveland - Presidential Badass

Happy President's Day -

I hope you Hosers have the day off, or at least you are not in Austin for a meeting, for which you had to travel yesterday afternoon, because that would really ruin your holiday weekend.

And what a holiday! President's Day, or as I like to call it, Grover Cleveland Day. Everyone knows that Obama is the 44th President, but what are the chances he'll also be the 46th? You see, Grover Cleveland was such a great president that he was both the 22nd and 24th president, and that makes him an absolute total badass in my book.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Person

Evil

Well, in this case, it's not an actual guy but instead a girl. But you get the point.

Failing To Make Things Happen

Evil

Sadly, the "Date or Die: Shanghai Surprise" series has not gotten off the ground yet. I've spent most of my first week here just trying to get settled (finding apartment, buying household items, etc). I have 11 weeks left... now I need to get to it!

Slight tangent: didn't Xtian promise to write more Date or Die posts for 2008? Where has he been? Cmon Xtian, we're counting on you.

Anyway, one of my friends introduced me to a friend of hers who currently lives in Shanghai. She's the asian girl in the photo below, second from the right (NOT second from the left).

Really cute right? On paper, she is great. Went to a good school (same school where Evil Twin #1 did her graduate studies), worked at a good company coming out of school (same company where KenTak3 works now). But she had enough of the corporate life and now currently in Shanghai opening her own business, a luxury spa. So let's call her Spa Girl.

Now that I've written about Spa Girl, I bet nothing will ever happen. I am failing to make things happen left and right. I've lost my game. I need some steroids!

By the way, the above pic was taken at a wine and cheese gathering hosted by one of her expat friends. I was pretty amazed by the apartment. It's one of the most stylish apartments I've ever seen, so I had to snap a couple of pics with my phone. Expats are really living well here in Shanghai.

Baseball Trivia

Evil

There are 4 members of the 40-40 club. So far 3 of them are proven steroid users.

Can you name all 4?

Still Flying High

I changed jobs 1 year ago last week. This occurred to me last night as I was having a drink with a former colleague. Wow - 1 year ago. I would say it's hard to imagine, but I hate it when I hear other people say that. There should not be anything hard to imagine about what has actually happened.

I was also thinking that this is only my 3rd job since I graduated from college, minus the 2 years of childish binge drinking with Sparks in graduate school. That would count as a 4th job I suppose. Graduating from college in 1998, I seem to recall all of the career counselors telling us that our generation would all have some obscene number of different jobs during our careers. Any Hosers out there looking at job #10 yet?

The other thing I was considering before landing where I am now was a gig with Lehman. Dodged a bullet there.

Anyway - here is to 1 more year of being a high flying marketing executive. Go KillerB1.

The Answer Raises So Many Questions

Evil

Sparks is totally right! Man, I wish I had known that Sparks is fluent in Mandarin before I dragged my ass out here to Shanghai. I would have much rather gone out to the Bay Area and learn from Sparks. Perhaps barter his teaching in exchange for me babysitting the kid. You guys need a baby sitter, right? I am awesome with kids. Really!

Anyway, the ad is indeed for English tutoring. I ran into a ginormous version of the ad just yesterday. This raises so many question, though.

1. Who the f*ck needs 24 hour tutoring anyway? I mean, really.

2. And if a person schedules a "tutoring session" for 2am, is a complementary BJ included?

3. Lastly, is tying a Chinese girl to a white guy the best method of learning? Will that result in better command of the English language or will it simply produce Mexican-looking mixed babies?

Unintended Dickishness

Evil

Has this ever happened to you: you go through life doing something a certain way, but much later on (say, when you're 32) you find out that what you had been doing was a total douche bad move and that you had been being a dick the entire time.

Mandarin is a tricky language because it's homophonous, so there are many words that are pronounced the same. Additionally, it's typical for a single word to have multiple discrete meanings. For example, the word wei. I generally consider it to mean "seat." When you go into a Chinese restaurant, the host or hostess will ask you, "how many wei?" That is, how many people in your party (or more literally, how many seats do you require?).

When I am alone, I've always responded, "one wei."

During class yesterday, I learned that wei is also a very formal way of saying "respected person." So in restaurants, the host/hostess is really asking, "How many respected persons in your party?" And the response, "One wei" turns out to be a very arrogant response because you're referring to yourself too loftily. Crap! I feel like such a dick.

First, I'm insulted that you think none of us know Mandarin. Second, "Sparks and Cattjy make a porno" is an inspired title. And finally, this is an ad for "24 hour private English tutoring." It was probably targeting locals who wanted to work/volunteer for the Olympics. The ad is trying to entice people to pay this company money for a shot at working with Westerners. It is very unclear to me why showing a Chinese person physically bound to an American is at all an effective advertising campaign. We only do that for fun, every now and then, and rarely while wearing a suit.

Write Your Own Caption! A-Rod Editon

(now we're just piling on)

The best tabloid cover of the week!

Uh Oh?

Evil

Oh no! Look what I saw yesterday. Decepticons are everywhere! World destruction is near. Does anyone have Optimus Prime's cell phone number?

First Day Of Class - Quickies

Evil

• Completed 5 hours of class today. That's how it's gonna be monday thru friday every week. This seems more productive than what I was doing in NYC, which was not much of anything, except eating myself into a hole.

• I'm in a class with 3 whities (2 Frogs and a Swiss). Their Chinese pronunciation SUCKS! But boy, these three people have memory recall like a motherfucker. They can memorize Chinese characters like you wouldn't believe. I better study up to keep up.

• A fist fight broke out in the subway station this morning. Both guys got in several good punches to the other person's face before the police came and broke things up.

• Going out to drinks with my friend's friend tonight.

• Now need to do homework before going out. Woooooo!
  

A Sunday Smile

Went to see Beirut at the Brooklyn Academy of Music with Killer B #1 and some of the kicks-n-giggles crowd. A few thoughts come to mind

• Neat show. I was down on the idea of watching a rock-n-roll show at BAM, as you know, its an orchestra house but Beirut was supported for more than half the show by what looked to be a full orchestra of 30 or so. The fuller sound benefited from the space


• Beirut is what happens when 60s french pop, waltz and some more eastern European elements have an orgy and make a baby. I'm not entirely sure what is happening, there are all these extra legs and arms and ukuleles. Still its cool; amazing even.


• Killer B #1's wingman skills are severely lacking...

They were on Letterman last week performing "Sunday Smile" just to give you a sense of what I mean

Write Your Own Ad Copy

Evil


I'm assuming none of us Hosers can read Mandarin fluently, so would not be able to decipher what this ad is really about. Take a look: white man, Chinese woman, hands bound by rope, both looking quite happy. WTF is this ad all about?!

Special Parking

Evil

My Lonely Planet guide books says that the Shanghai Museum costs 20RMB to get in. But once I got there this morning, I was in for a pleasant little surprise... it's now free! I asked someone about it in the afternoon and he told me that all museums in China now have free admission because the government wants to promote more museum-going. That's neat.

You know what else is neat? This car that I saw right in front of the Shanghai Museum. Mind you, there isn't a parking lot in front of the museum. It's really a plaza and not a place that looks like it was meant to be parked on by cars. So I am assuming that this car had special privileges. Do you see what's special about it?



Here's a closer look:



Whoa! CRAZY. I don't even know what to make of this. Any theories?

The Hose International Expansion

Evil
Hey, we're still holding that Hosers International Conference in late March, right? Because I'm already here in Shanghai scouting out some conference locations, and more importantly, getting the scoop on the evening "team building activities."

If any of you are worried that you won't survive the long flight out here, worry not! My tip for you: flight Cathay Pacific. Check out this pic that I took in the plane bathroom:


How incredibly understanding of them! See, you don't have to kick your heroin (or opium) addiction to attend the Hosers International Conference. You just need to shoot up in the bathroom but be nice and dispose of the syringes in the right way.

(Ungraceful segue...) I spent the better part of my first morning in Shanghai doing some apartment hunting. By 12:45pm, all the paperwork was signed and I was done! Tomorrow, they're getting the walls re-painted and the entire apartment cleaned. Sunday I move in.

One weird thing about China is that the highest denomination bill is 100 RMB (about $14.63 USD). And most business is done with cash. Certainly, business such as renting apartments is done with cash. So apartment hunters end up carrying around a big stack of bills (see below).


Too bad I had to blow all this cash on apartment rent. Because Xtian and KillerB were telling me about all the great "entertainment" that Shanghai as to offer.

Scrubs is back! Guest Staring Elmo!

I could not stop laughing at this whole episode

The Red Pill

There is a small scene near the beginning of the Matrix.Keanu Reeves is in his office, right before Lawrence Fishbourne calls him on a newly delivered cell phone. At the beginning of the scene, he is sitting there in a suit, holding his mouse in his had. He is perfectly still. In a fairly quick cut, you see quite clearly that his computer is off. It’s a detail in their engineered life that the robots do not bother to flesh out. It’s an early clue that helps the viewer understand that this is not the real world, just a close facsimile.

Much like Neo, I spend a great deal of waking life in a minor, barely noticeable trance. I only summon enough energy to occasionally make a constructive suggestion or crush someone with a brutal joke. It is a tough trick but one I have mastered to the point where I can even pull it off in the wide open office space I was seated in yesterday afternoon. I am not perfect though. Every so often the very real world intrudes and suddenly, I’m “plugged” in.

I know I’m not in the Matrix because when I’m at work I hear sh*t like this…

“Well I know I can f*ck right.”

The woman saying it is petite, somewhat attractive and a fake blonde. She is almost yelling into a phone. I am dumbstruck and my coworker, sitting across from me can barely contain himself. He is immediately IMing me.

CS: Oh my god, who is that?
xTian: I have no idea
CS: This is the greatest conversation ever

I am not in this building frequently enough for me to know her.

“Well, I’ve been in the gym, my *ss it tight. I don’t care what he says. My ass don’t stop”

CS: I’m in love

This goes on for some time. During this phone conversation, several themes emerge

• Though she is quite petite her husband is borderline abusive, bringing up her weight gain, the shape of her *ss, her abs (or lack there of) constantly
• He is more than likely cheating on her, or at least she is convinced of he is
• They have a young baby
• She doesn’t care because she is in the gym, working out and will show him

I had no idea what to make of this. You have to compliment her for self assuredness I guess (?) and feel bad about this horrible relationship.

Makes you want to pay more attention to the world around you, doesn’t it?

Postscript - Once she left, I ran over and looked through what was on top of her desk to ascertain her name. A series of Google searches revealed that she was a former competitive fitness model. I felt less bad. What I thought was emotional abuse was probably just training with her wandering husband providing objective feedback "your ass is hanging out" is totally cruel when you are talking to the mother of your child but in bounds if she is training as a fitness model, natch.

Still all that effort into regaining a 6 pack and she had a 5 dollar dye job on her head. Next time I see her I’ll make her feel bad about her hair. I’m sure she will appreciate it in the long run.

In Shanghai

Evil

Hi y'all! I just got to the hotel. All is good. I think I'm gonna pop an Ambien and get some sleep. Catch you later!

Yay!

Mamacita's fruits of labor are blossoming! Everyone just wait...!

Anger Management Class, Anyone?

Evil


If you're gonna lose your cool, you might as well go all the way. Christian Bale shows us how it's done.

http://www.aolcdn.com/tmz_audio/020209_christianbale.mp3

Warning: lots of cursing so potentially not safe for work. Or just use headphones.

Even funnier: this dance remix of his rant!

Running Around, Running Around...

Evil

Last day in NYC before flying out to Shanghai. Running around a lot today, getting various last-minute things squared away. Woooo!

Yeah, Still Talking About the SuperBowl...

How did we miss this last night? Looks like we should have traded the Slingshot setup for Comcast.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same...

Evil



This Super Bowl commercial featuring Bob Dylan made me think... the country nowadays is all about "Change." But for this aspirational commercial, Pepsi reached back multiple decades and plucked out Bob Dylan from the past. Which made me think, who is this generation's Bob Dylan, i.e., the "protest singer" artist. Surely, the past 8 years have given us a lot to protest. Or perhaps Bob Dylan is not a once in a generation talent... a once in a lifetime talent?

Thanks Goodness For Public Schools

Evil

I've always said that I'm so glad I went to public school because meeting the wacko kids that go to public school has shaped much of who I am today. Recently, an old classmate posted all our class photos from kindergarten through fifth grade and thanks to the miracle of Facebook, we've all been reliving some fun old memories.

Check out this snippet of a long thread:

Classmate #1: Hey...look at the classmate 2nd row from the top, standing between Rocio and John. Wasn't he the one that hit Mary in the forehead with a broom handle? (please tell me i'm not the only one who remembers that horrible day.) He had some type of emotional issues.

Classmate #2: yea thats him i think his name was mohammed. It was in ms. kitzes class as usual she was chatting outside with another teacher when our fellow classmate mary martin was reading a story to the class and we were all sitting on the floor (eww) and mohammed was sweeping and then in a rage took the broom to her forhead the poor girl had a huge hole in her head. i remember that she didnt even know that it was bleedng until she touched it then she started screaming! how traumatizing for her and us!! = /

Superbowl Thoughts

Couple of quick hits for tonights Superbowl

• The Superbowl is in Tampa. There are never enough hotel rooms in Tampa. People end up staying 1-2 hours away in Orlando which is equipped to actually handle thousands of people showing up randomly for a week.. Tampa is the worst place to do a Superbowl.


• The best player on the field tonight is the dude pictured above.


• The most overrated player on the field tonight is Ben Roethlesberger. He is an average QB at best The last time he was in a Superbowl he had a QB Rating of 22, the worst in Superbowl history. Having said all that, at the end of the day he will not be a huge factor in deciding whether or not the Steelers win the game.


• The second most overrated player on the field will be Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie(Cardinals #29). He also has the best name ever.


• Larry Fitzgerald (Cardinals #11) is the best wide receiver in the NFL but his teammate, Anquan Boldin is the toughest. You will hear both names a lot.


• Steeler fans are so annoying. First, they won't shut up. Second, they don't shut up about Ben Rothlesberg, who they refer to as Ben, Big Ben, or 7...third, if Pittsburg is so f*cking great why did they leave? Shut up shut up shut up!


• Sorry, Where did that come from? Anyway, I am going to get ready and head over to Evil's for some pre-gaming.

I think the Cards are going to win, for people who live in states where gambling is legal I would take the Cards and the points. I don't live in a state where it's legal so I won't be visiting Joey at the McDonalds in Jersey City and betting 2G.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Guy

Evil

Poor Roger Federer... watching someone else take the prize.