The Hose

Evil

SCENE FROM A STARBUCKS
(92nd & 3rd)

Three girls at the table next to me, all mid-to-late 20's and decently normal looking. The blonde scratches the surface of "attractive" on a good day. She does most of the talking. She talks fast. Hardlyanyspacesinbetweenherwords,sortoflikethis. The two brunettes talk fast too. The sounds they make are reminiscent of clucking hens. I expect them to peck at thier lemon poppyseed muffin in between sentences. I expect the pecking to be quick and ferocious, if only to keep pace with the whole scene.

The blonde is talking about work, still talking fast. The brunettes listen intently and here and there they scatter an "Oh my God!" and sometimes a "Wow! THAT is aMAZing!" Once, they chimed "Oh my God!" in almost perfect unison.

I sort of lose track of the conversation for a bit, perhaps out of boredom or perhaps I was distracted by thoughts of putting a bullet in my head so as to not have to listen the sounds of three girls clucking. The blonde is now talking about trying to get in to grad school:

"Imean,Ijustdontknowwhathappened. Imean,me? Gettingbelowthemeanonverbal? Imean,me?"

One of the brunettes is like, "Oh my God!"

"Imean,Ijustdontknowwhathappened!" repeats the blonde.

It's weird how some people don't realize how stupid they really are. She doesn't know what happened? This girl clearly has the intellect of toothpaste. At that moment, I found myself wondering why I wasn't born as good looking as I am smart. (I would be ruling the world by now!) And then I wondered what would happen if the blonde girl suddenly became as smart as me, if only for one day. I think her had would explode. Probably by noon. Being me is not as easy and carefree as it seems, but I guess I manage...