The Hose

Evil
I made a startling discovery this weekend. No, you nerds, I didn't discover the squark. (Please! My work in supersymmetry and string theory is top secret. Put a lid on it!) What I discovered was:

Even in Manhattan, it's pretty hard to get food delivery before noon on a Sunday. WHO KNEW? I used to think that only outer-borough losers had to deal with things like this, but there I was, 11am on a Sunday and really jonesin' for some food. Any food, really. As long as it was hot. My refrigerator was completely empty except for some milk that I'm sure had gone bad, several bottles of Gatorade, and a Brita filter. I sat around from 11am til noon, munching on a handful of pine nuts that I found in the cupboard and at exactly 12 noon, I phoned in an order for an 18" pizza with sausage and peppers. Mmmmm. I ate that thing in 2 sittings and didn’t even feel it. When did I become such a slobbery mess? When did I stop loving myself?

Speaking of which, has anyone noticed all the recent bad news about fat people? There was some study that came out about how fat children are these days, as compared with previous generations. Then I saw this article about a 15-year old Sumo wrestler who died from heart disease.

Oh! Speaking of "the Japanese" (use of quotes to imply some sort of racism?)... KEN: are you up in arms about that Banzai show on Fox? Dude, I'm not even Japanese and I was offended on your behalf. That show is out of control.

I am making all sorts of associations today... Speaking of strange TV shows, I recently noticed that there is a cartoon called Angry Beavers on Nickelodeon. Angry Beavers? Tell me about it...