My Pants are Wet Because of Goldman Sachs

Dear Lloyd -

I am at work this morning, as you probably are too. But my pants are soaking wet, and I'm sure yours are not.

More...

"What happened!?" you ask? Well, Lloyd, as you know it is a rainy day. These things happen. And as you know on rainy days in NYC puddles form (you'll find this same phenomenon wherever else in this world you may have homes or kingdoms). Such puddles formed this morning on Stone street. You know Stone Street as the 2 short blocks both east and west of your building - the street the city allowed you to bi-sect when Goldman built the hideous building you now occupy. (I like your new tower at World Financial Center much better - much less goth). Remember when they found all those bones and history and interesting stuff? That street.

As myself and a crowd of others were walking down Stone Street (a consequence of taking public transportation to work), a complete and total jackass in a silver Range Rover SPED UP at the end of the intersection to drive faster through a large puddle in the street. He soaked 6-8 of us. I'm sure he had hoped for more.

Predictably this asshat then pulled over right in front of your building, 85 Broad, where he picked up a dude that had just walked out of the same building. The driver had a big grin on his face. Was really proud of himself. Had he not then sped off, he was about 10 seconds away from a fantastic mob beating. I had already decided my contribution was going to be breaking off his rear view mirrors and smashing them on his face. Would have been so cool.

So, Lloyd, here I am, in my wet pants, without any vengeance to show for it. So I think you owe me. I think you owe me a pair of pants, and maybe even a steak dinner. "Why me?" you ask? Why not. If you are going to employ total jackasses, then you should have a budget set aside to resolve their idiocy.

Thanks for understanding Lloyd. I know you aren't such a bad guy. But I also know you are a rich one. So let's get this settled post haste.

KillerB1