The Hose

Evil

I want to be David Blaine. I watched his old magic special, "David Blaine: Street Magic," on The Learning Channel yesterday. It reminded me that I want to be David Blaine. I want to be famous. I want people to be captivated by me. I want to levitate and have girls on the street freaked out by my magical powers. I want to make random people's clothes disappear. (And I'm not talking about you, Mr. Shoulders. Calm down.)

I thought to myself, What's with this obsession for fame? For attention? What is going on here?

I will tell you what... and I told my shrink the same thing... the happiest times of my life were when I was a kid and had a cold and my mom would take care of me and make me feel better. Unfortunately, I was a relatively healthy kid, so I really didn't get that kind of attention so often. Why couldn't I have had juvenile diabetes? Or lukemia? Damn, some kids have all the luck. This is why I turned out so messed up.