Labor Day Ramble

It's Labor Day!!!! (Evil - you can stop reading now)

To honor Labor Day, I thought I would recount some (edit: all) of my labors.
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My early forays into labor were pretty common: mowing lawns, dog walking, dog sitting etc. This was mostly how I facilitated my baseball card hobby. An investment that has returned about -95%. If anyone needs a bunch of Jerome Walton rookie cards send me an email.

I babysat once. For the Martin kids. It was the worst 5 hours of my life. They went around the house and intentionally broke all of the light bulbs they could find. Then said I did it when their parents came home - 3 hours after they were supposed to go to bed, which they refused to do. Also, they refused to take their Ritalin. I don't know why their parents didn't give it to them before they left. I hate the Martins. Craig Martin - if you are reading this, you can suck it.


My first real job was as a caddy at Sycamore Hills Golf Club. This is a real golf club, where caddies wear white jump suits - so cool. I started at the bottom, earning $15 per round + tip. I usually did 1 round a day about 5 days a week. Sometimes I would do 2 loops per day. Within a few months I had been promoted all the way up the ladder to Master Caddie - which paid $25 per round. Cha-ching!!!!!

After a year of this I was recruited to work in the cart room at the Club. This was an hourly gig. I worked 40 hours per week - the most allowable by child labor laws (I was 15). To get the job I had to take a Myers-Briggs test. At 15. I failed. It was a big deal. The club owner didn't want me. The guy who ran operations, Gene, had to pull a bunch of strings. I was supposed to start the afternoon of the test - but because I somehow blew it it took a couple of weeks before Gene managed to get the OK. I imagine his arguemt was something like "He's 15! What the hell does he know?!?!?!" Whew! WELCOME TO THE RAT RACE!!!!!!

The next year I became Cart Room Manager. I had a staff of 8-10 guys. Most of them were older than me. HA! I had the keys to the place. I was able to HIRE PEOPLE!!!! I was 16 and had a car, so my parents didn't have to drop me off anymore. I did that for a few years. The summer after my freshman year in college was my last summer. I had gone as far as I could in that job.

The next summer I went for the $$$. I got a job working third shift at an auto parts company. It paid $20/hour. CHA-CHING!!!!! I would work the night shift, go straight to the golf course for a 7AM tee time, then home to bed. PERFECT LIFE!!!! I did that for 3 years. I was laid off the third year. Downsizing. I was on the cutting edge of the decline of the auto-industry. No jobs bank there though.

At college I worked in the media library. This was the part of the library in the basement where they kept all of the movies. I had a desk, with a TV, a VCR, and racks and racks of movies. Plus, nobody ever came down there. I worked with a girl named Kathryn Peacock. I had a crush on her. The most embarrassing story of my life involves her. I miss her.

After college I worked at an architecture firm, as a freelance writer, and a management consultant. BOOOOORRRRRRING.

So that's it. That's my life of labor. That is just about everything I've ever been paid money to do. I'm considering asking my current boss whether I can be a 3rd shift High Flying Marketing Executive. I'll cover the phones and stuff from 9PM - 6AM, and can be on the links by 7AM. I think she might find value in that.