Date or Die; Date 1

Who: Asian Pharma Rep
Where: Madison Bar and Grill Hoboken NJ
Means of Introduction: The internet
Back Story: She hit me up on the interweb thinking me very amusing. I tested her intelligence by discussing the magazines she had a subscription to and what was in them. She struck me as remarkably genuine. I met her sight unseen.

The Synopsis

As she approached the restaurant (with me standing on the corner watching her) I was shocked by how attractive she looked. I grabbed my phone and acted like I was composing a text message when in reality I was trying to take a camera phone pic of her to forward to evil. I desperately wanted to ruin his day.

She claimed flexibility about where to sit but had made frequent disparaging remarks about her Asian freckles and how strange that was. Evil knows this, I am a huge fan of Asians with freckles. So I was sort of digging it. Still I found a table that would allow me to bask in the sun and her to shade herself under an umbrella.

Our conversation was great and free flowing although I was really disturbed by the fact that she sounded exactly like Sparkes' wife Cathy. So much so that I pointed it out and used the word "off putting" which as it shot out of my mouth I desperately tried to retrieve but to no avail. She laughed it off and I found myself in intense lust. How do I bang her now? On the corner of 13h and Broadway in Hoboken on a glorious day...how?

We pressed on, we got into families. I talked about the insanity in mine and she talked about how close she is to hers. I realized a friend of mine had had sex with her little sister in 2005 in Philly (the world is EXACTLY that small). She admitted that her dad is a Christian Korean minister and he might be dating a 32 year old woman in Seoul.

I liked her. I wanted more of her. She gave me a ride towards home (it was on her way). I asked to do something either Friday or Saturday. She agreed (reasonably enthusiastically). I like her too much, i will be on the outside looking in, by this time next week. I start recalculating my other two dates and start weighing the relative value of a second date with a good looking, awesome woman or the first date with the woman I met on facebook who I have deified to the point where if she is anything short of smartest, hottest woman ever I will be disappointed.

As I get out of the car I wave with a small smile, high on life. I check my messages before I jump on the PATH train and realize that my conversation with the southern belle from the night before was continuing via text message. I'm convinced there is no way any of this will end well. I hope you all enjoy it at least.