The US Open: What round are we on again?

I am not good at watching golf on TV. There is a lot going on. They are constantly taking us from hole to hole, intermittently I am reminded that someone is "already in the clubhouse" and "done for the day". The whole thing is roughly equivalent to being invited to an orgy that you are later forced to watch a video of at a subsequent, and poorly thought thru, bachelor party. It was awkward when it happened and its even worse now, because you know things are out of order and confusing but you're too dumbstruck to acknowledge it. No other comparison comes to mind...at all.

Normally this is completely acceptable. I never watch golf on TV to avoid just this sort of inadequacy. Sometimes I can't get away from it though. Yesterday, while watching the golf in the rain with various members of my family this experience was excruciating. Periodically, someone would ask "what hole are we on?" or someone would say something declarative like "Rocco Miedate did not make the cut" - (who?). Each statement was undermined thirty seconds later when cameras cut to Rocco driving his golf ball on 15 into the rough as the announcer declared that the third round would start at 530 and all the guys in the clubhouse who finished the second round in the morning and made the cut would come out again and play the late afternoon. My head slowing exploded- its Saturday why was the second round played on Saturday? If Rocco did not make the cut why am I still looking at him taking sh*t shots off on the tee on 15. My iPhone did not help, the guys at Deadspin were there live and again ahead of the live feed. Periodically, the four of us would look at each other and shrug, confused. We would all rather be doing anything but this. Of course, its raining out there so who wants to do that?

Finally my cousin took control and flipped it to the mets game. they were pulling the tarp over the infield and calling the game. I gave up, went home and regretted ever hearing the phrase "Beth Page Black"

The photo above appeared on the back page of the Friday Morning Daily News. HILARIOUS