The Hosecast: Mailbag Edition

Rather than post a new Hosecast this week I figured I would do a little mailbagging
More...
To: The Hose
From: Evil Twin #2
Subject: basket jobs
What exactly is a basket job?
-ET2

Thanks for the great question,ET2. A basket job is a sexual act where a woman sits naked in a basket hanging from the ceiling. the basket is lowered onto a man in such a way that they can get it on. The basket is spun along the access so homeboy can feel it.
Why we talk about it? Well that's a little fuzzier. First, it's hilarious but most things to do with paying for sex are anyway. More specifically, either Sparks or KillerB learned about this during their trips to the far east and it has been a recurring joke since then.


To: The Hose
From: Sylvia in Miami
Subject: Kelly Clarkson
You guys seem to overanalyze everything to do with American Idol, so  I was hoping you could help clear something up for me. Why is Kelly Clarkson so much more successful than other past Idol Contestants. I don't mean like Clay Aiken and all these other guys, who don't really have an audience. I was thinking more like Katherine McPhee who seems to have more star power.

Hmm, I might want to defer to Killer B or Sparks here. I'll take a crack just to fill some time. First, I might disagree with the premise overall. Kelli Pickler might be just as popular as Kelly Clarkson. Sure, country music is sort of a niche but its an incredibly big niche. Daughty is also insanely popular, his music is so perfectly inoffensively bland that every radio station in the country is very comfortable playing it and parents are genuinely ok with letting their children download it on iTunes. Which I think is the exact tone you need to hit to achieve Kelly Clarkson like fame -sing a bunch of catchy songs that anyone else in the world could sing, don't get in the tabloids for binge drinking and setting cars on fire but do get in the tabloids for being incredibly relatable (When Kelly Clarkson sings about not getting a dude or not being happy its sort of believable. Also, she has a weight problem totally relatable). Katharine McPhee's problems are to my mind 2 (1) Does she want to sing or act? I suspect she does not know (2) She's too pretty to have Kelly Clarkson like problems. 

To: The Hose
From: Mr. Shoulders
Subject: ?
do you think you are funny or something?  I don't look like Sam The Eagle

Yes you do, check the Lookey Likey again!

To: The Hose
From: Rodrigo in Long Beach California
Subject: banging journalists
Where do I find some and what do I say when I do?

-R

Rodrigo, thanks for writing and for listening and reading. This is a tough question. This sort of thing is very organic and only happens by throwing yourself into a half dozen random situations a week. Even that might not help. This group in particular  is fairly imbred and hard to track down. The best thing to do is to stand outside a local television affiliate or newspaper and help whoever comes out holding a box. She is probably a recently laid off/fired journalist who's next option is taking a much less glamourous position doing marketing-communications for an incredibly dull human sized basket making manufacturer in Riverside.



To: The Hose
From: Mandy in Portland Ma
Subject:The Bachelorette
What makes you an expert on good reality tv? You spend an hour killing Jillian The Bachelorette like some catty b*tch. (Thank goodness Catjjy was there to keep you in check) Then you proceed to with your brother celebrate the disaster that is "I'm a celebrity, Get Me Out of Here".

No one likes you, that's why you have all this free time to post podcasts.

WOW! First off, do you know the Mamacita or something? Secondly, I did not celebrate "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here". It's a trainwreck of a show. I'm sad that this is where Lou Diamond Phillips ends up. First he loses his wife to Melissa Ethridge, now this!

To: The Hose
From: Paula in Cedar Creek
Subject: Future Hosecast Guests
Any plans to have the Mamacita on? I think you need someone to put you in your place. What about Sparks?

I am in active negotiations with the Mamacita to have her appear. She is being very particular. Specific dog food for bruno, buckets of red m&ms , special oil for KenTak3. Whatever it takes.

We need to find a niche for sparks to weight in on. Maybe that's the next poll.

To: The Hose
From: xTian's Father
Subject: Gay
I am very concerned. My two sons seem to spend all their time discussing the attractiveness of Mark Sanchez and old episodes of Gilmore Girl.

They also sound like two gay Dominicans on their way to a parade. And let's not even get into their friendship with that flaming poof Manolo.

(triste)

Hi Dad! Thanks for listening! If you are worried now, wait till we roll out the Over/Under Game "HOT GUYS" Edition with Manolo, xTian and the Bump all playing