Daymares Volume 3

One of the great things about living in a big city is it gives you plenty of things to think about and consider as you walk down the street. There are people everywhere, so your eye is constantly drawn here and there. Well, when I walk down the street, I often end up imagining a purse-snatching happening right in front of me. I'm not sure why I have this association with NYC, but I do. I've never seen it happen - in fact I don't think I've ever seen a crime committed, but I nonetheless have the expectation that some day, right in front of me, some thug is going to knock a woman to the ground and run away with her purse. The fun starts after the jump....

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And when I imagine this, I also always imagine that he is running towards me. But because he is running from the scene, he is looking over his shoulder - looking back to see if anyone is after him. Which creates the perfect situation for: the clothesline.

I think the clothesline is probably the most perfect form of violence one person can commit against another. Hitting or kicking someone is easy. Clotheslining someone is on a whole different level. The opportunity doesn't come along very often though. It's a rare combination of circumstances that must occur in order for it to be done perfectly. First, you need someone running full speed right past you. Second, that person needs to be not paying attention (otherwise they might duck or fight back). Third, you need a reason to clothesline a person. Someone just being in a hurry doesn't cut it (Evil). All of this makes a purse-snatching in a busy city ideal.

Another thing I like about the clothesline is that has the potential to do immense damage to one person, with minimal damage to another. Yes, I might bruise my arm, but in return for that bruise I'm giving someone whiplash, and 2 impacts (my arm, and the ground). Plus there is embarrassment. If you got clotheslined on a crowded street, and then caught and apprehended, you would be soooooo embarrassed. Especially when it is me doing the clotheslining.

Anyway, in my Daymare, I always get the guy as he is rounding a corner, looking over his shoulder, and then BAM!!! my arm extends out, swinging forward slightly, and the punk ends up on his back, knocked out cold. I casually pick up the purse and walk it over to the poor woman (often old, but sometimes insanely hot). Then I walk back to the punk, and stand over him until a police officer shows up. The next day I am on the cover of the Post with a really clever headline, and then things go back to normal after a few days of media interviews.