I choose me !?!?!?!

A few months ago, I was in bed feeling insecure. I said something that reflected this insecurity. The woman next to me said, sarcastically,

"yeah you're so ugly."
"i know"
"You're crazy. Also, you don't believe that. You are completely comfortable naked. if you did believe that you would not be so comfortable"

A few weeks ago, I went to a benefit to raise money for my little cousins' cycling team. Their grandfather is now married to the woman who was the head guidance councilor at my high school when I was there. We spent a few minutes speaking. Later, she went up to my aunt and started remarking how attractive and nice I was and how it was shocking that I had evolved into such a man from the stoner/goth wannabe of my youth. At one point my aunt had to tell her to calm down as she was so worked up by my awesomeness.

When I was 22, I got drunk, and declared to Sparkes: "Screw these flighty b*tches. I am going to be the most awesome 30 year old ever" and i set about the business of making that true. I stopped weighing 300lbs, I spent an inordinate amount of time on hair and manicuring. I developed a "look" - clothing wise, that is professional, modern, youthful and vaguely rebellious. I pretty much did everything except get it thru my demented head that I could no longer be compared to silent bob or the comic book guy from the Simpsons.

When I first met ET #2, I spent an inordinate amount of time fishing for complements. She was would call BS often and say things like "You're fishing for compliments". Tough love, your name is ET #2.

I was recently telling all this to my mother, and blaming her for never encouraging me to believe in myself. She labored through the conversation before admitting that it was really hard to be a mother to such a headcase, she then handed me off to my father, who could not be bothered to hear my complaints and compared himself favorably to Rudolph Valentino before hanging up.