Asshole Move? Or OK?

Evil

From: [Evil]
To: editor@gaycitynews.com
Subject: Feedback on article

Hi, quick feedback on this article:

http://www.gaycitynews.com/gcn_444/aspiritidrowaboutgay.html

Specifically, this section:

Recalling that he confronted anti-Semitism as an undergraduate at Dartmouth, that he developed student tolerance programs at 42 public high schools across the city, and that, before taking a leave from his position with the law firm of Paul, Weiss, he was part of the team waging one of the pending same-sex marriage lawsuits in New York State, Garodnick said, "My background in civil rights doesn't come out of nowhere."

WHOA! Way too unweildy. There's too much that happens in the sentence before we arrive at the subject, "Garodnick."

Just wanted to point that out.

Best,
[Evil]

=====

From: editor@gaycitynews.com
To: [Evil]
Subject: RE: Feedback on article

Yes, [Evil], you are right. I am hoping that my excuse is that there was a lead-in sentence definitively identifying Garodnick as the actor in that sentence that got cut at the last second for space. But I can't tell you that under oath.

Paul