Is This Normal (The Bumpasaurus Edition)

My little brother, the Bumpasaurus,used to have a terrible lisp. I recall that my friend’s little brother had a condition where he blinked 5-6x more than the normal person. People used to call him blinky. No one ever called Bump Lispy, or Blinky for that matter,with the possible exception of my mother.

Bump’s lisp was bad enough to make him go to a trailer, adjacent to the school, to work on this condition. What was the deal with those trailers anyway? It seemed like if anyone was behind on anything they had to go to a trailer and sit there. Is there a worse punishment for being dumb/emotionally unstable/have a speech impediment than being lumped together for a few hours in the back of a trailer parked in front of the school. So weird...

Anyway, the used to give Bump little poems to read aloud to help him pronounce the words. I recall leaving the room whenever little Bump would pull out his red folder full of poems to practice. I like to think it was because I wanted Bump to practice in a risk free environment where no one would judge, snicker, laugh, point, or even cry. But, really I think I just wanted to watch TV in silence.

One afternoon, I spied my mom in the kitchen, standing in the door facing where Bump was studying. She was quiet but working hard to contain laughter. I came upon her to see what all the fun was about.

She had been standing there quietly, listening to my 6 year old brother, baby Bump if you will, practice his stupid limericks. She could barely contain her laughter. I wanted to say something, lecture her on what a bad mother she was or possibly how she was undermining her son’s confidence and eventual development. Instead I just laughed out loud and went to another room to watch TV in silence.

To this day when the Bump gets out of line or a little stubborn, my mom knows what to do, what buttons to push….her face lights up, and she exposes her teeth like she’s going on a hunt

“Thwan, Theweet, thwan…how thweet…”

That’s the quickest way to get Bump to shut about anything. If you do it long enough, he might even cry.