Asking her Number

I had a few friends come into town this weekend to hang out with me. It was great. Heather and her husband came into town, as did Darren and his wife. My friend, Anne and I put together a rather rigorous itinerary and we went about executing.

On Saturday, Heather brought out a friend to the Barney’s Warehouse Sale with us. Since Heather is somewhat slinky and blonde and her friend fits that description too, we’ll have to call her Slinky Blonde #2 for the purposes of this discussion. I purchased a suit btw, It was great. So happy. While at Starbucks, I took proper stock of the woman that my good friend heather brought out. Normally, I don’t notice blondes. It’s the contrarian in me. I make it a point to look right past, tall, skinny blondes with huge racks. Its just what I do. All loyal readers understand I’m limited. This is just another sign of my limitations

I was in a bad mood the night before and having given up boozing for lent, I decided to mope. The suit had really gotten me back in the game though. I was pumped and feeling like a new man. Also, this girl's rack got me cranking too...

I immediately started flirting. Flirting is a unique art and I’m terrible at it. Here’s what an xTian flirt sounds like

“everyone in my building is like really good looking, so be on the look out. They’re all done up too. I was sitting in the lobby one day and felt like I was violating the social contract or something/”

But I delivered it looking at her the whole way, like “this one is for you, baby”
As I was delivering it she noted me looking at her and looked up and was smiling back the whole way, like “I like it, I like where you’re going with that…direct hit”

Ok, OK, I’m overstating it but not really, I might just be overstating my interpretation

Moving on….Later at my place we were all hanging out watching Napolean Dynamite. She mentions something about her Valentine’s Day implying that she planned it. She confirmed she did.

K, don’t ask for her number

Later she asked if I had any single roommates. Curious. Also, I am the most decidedly single person in my apt. What’s the right answer. I just said “all those guys are involved in something”

K, definitely ask for her number.

The next morning at breakfast, she starts telling a story about her boyfriend and never calls him her ex.

K, don’t ask for her number

Later that day, she follows me when I break off into Kate’s Paperie to buy high end notebooks. She hangs out there with me for some time and we goof off for a good bit.

K, ask for her number

SideNote: My Haas friend Anne, took a page out of my mother’s book upon inspecting my high end notebooks and suggested that I should have purchased a different, even more high end notebooks. Thanks for the undermining holmes!

At Ted Baker, I buy a shirt, slinky blonde #2, asked my opinion as she bought one for her earstwhile, not quite boyfriend.

K, definitely let the dead dogs lie. No phone numbers here

After dinner I went for a drink with Heather and Dan. I asked for clarity on this earstwhile slinky blonde.

The explanation was long winded and sorta private. The one part I will share is the one that hit like a baseball bat to a car window...

“he said something like “I have enough love for the both of us””

I got choked up, it sounded weak, like something I’ve mocked in the past, like something I might actually try to say.

“you should totally call her. She would never date you, but she has a ton of female friends”

K, definitely ask her number