xtian is undone

 


Evil and I walked around a bit on Friday night, soaking in the Halloween scene. As we crossed Elizabeth Street, I quickly turned to Evil and said

"That's Media Mogul/Star Editor-At-Large/Time Out NY Dating Columnist Julia Allison!"

His response was something to the effect of "No way"

He drifted over to her and whispered in the creepiest way possible "Are you Julia Allison?"

"Yes" she chirped...

I'll admit, I was elated. I am legitimately a huge fan of hers. Wierd I know. However, I have always been fascinated by her TV appearances on MSNBC and Fox News. Beyond that, Gawker spent a good deal of time obsessed with her. Most recently, I developed a new found appreciation for her reading this article a few months ago. She clearly knows how to generate buzz.

Evil and I have been plotting quietly about how to finally take the world by storm, using her story as a blue print.

She definitely sticks out, even on the street in costume. I mean she's gorgeous in person. Though shorter than I imagined. Perky, and generally engaging, the sort of chick that could take over a room when she entered...

Evil noticing how slackjawed I was, asked if I wanted a photo with her.

"Noooooooooo" I stammered, before recovering and following up with a question of my own "Would you like one?"

Evil quickly resisted while communicating a mild disgust that was directed to me, but not in an obvious way.

Looking back at us, she pipped in with a snarky "Thanks guys..."

Realizing that we were ruining this, I took action. Stuttering and tripping over myself, I brushed past Evil to get to her.

Mid pose, she switched sides, offer that this pose was on her good side...

Staring at her boobs I asked quietly "you have a good side?"

Stupid! Stupid! It did not come out the way I intended. Nothing was. Oh no!

She looked back at me judgingly.

"I mean a better side" I offered meekly...attempting a recovery after banging my head on the diving board.

We stood there for a moment, watching her and her friends bound down the street.

Evil managed to laugh at me the whole walk to the next bar.