Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Break up is a bit strong here. More like drifting apart. I'm talking about my wine guy, Brian.

About 18 months ago a great wine store opened up around the corner. It is owned and run by a guy named Brian. A really likeable guy. He was previously in charge of wine auctions for Sotheby's or Christies - I can't recall - but he knows his stuff. He did things the right way. He should write a book called Opening a Business in a Community 101. He hosts frequent tastings, invites local artists to show their stuff, created a stylish space, and generally just seemed to care what was going on in the area. Last year when he put a Christmas Tree up in the store he invited people in the neighborhood to bring in ornaments for which he would give away prizes. I won first prize for my garland made of MTA metro cards.

So it was a little bittersweet last night when KillerB2 and I were planning to have dinner at home followed by our own Christmas tree decorating. We decided we should pick up a bottle of wine. So I did. From the cramped wine store 3 blocks further away that I like less, with a worse selection, and higher prices. Crazy, right?

The problem is that in the run up to our wedding we stopped drinking at home. Too many empty calories - should spend that time at the gym instead etc. So I haven't been in to see Brian in 5 months or so. I think it would be weird now. I would have to explain myself - I feel like I owe him that. But I'm pretty non confrontational, so I think I'll just keep not drinking wine at home. Sucks.

dreaming of nora

I had a dream about nora last night. actually it was a dream about nora and a duck. the duck was nora's. it was white and immaculate, what you'd imagine the perfect duck would look like. and it had a great, gregarious personality. except when it didn't. you see, the duck would lapse in and out of transes. sometimes it seemed as if its mind just went blank. flatline in all brain activity. and the only person who could bring the duck out of its trans is its owner, nora.

there were other parts of the dream that I can't remember fully. something about running a race around a few city blocks with the duck involved. anyway, overall it felt like a sad dream.

today I continued reading the bible, which I just started recently. coincidentally, I just got to the story of Joseph, who interpreted dreams.

Little Bear

Well, Evil and I could not get it together and commit on time-sharing a new puppy, but I was able to convince My Sister to get a nephew of Bruno Bear before the rest of the litter was snatched up. (He's the one with his tongue hanging out in the above photo.)

He is currently 4 weeks old, and MS will pick him up in North Carolina at the end of December.

They are several videos but this one is cute and MS's puppy gets some good air time. Maybe we need to have a poll for the puppy's name.

What It's Like Being Evil

Evil

I did not leave the apartment all day. I did not even get out of bed til 11:45am. I can't remember what I did today but it was uneventful. I just ate a fistful of Pringles, had a couple of drinks, took 1 ambien, and now off to bed! See you tomorrow!

blogging on the go

just installed a blogging app on my iPhone. so now I can blog while on the go. lucky you!

xTian Visits a Soup Kitchen

Organizer: So can you stand in front of Jesus, hand out tickets and help control the crowds?

Me: That or handle trash?

Organizer: Pretty much

Me: I’ll hand out tickets

Volunteering is something I do with some consistency. It’s just a habit I developed when I was young. I was always volunteering for stuff, first to get into college then to network while in college, then to apply to graduate school. Now I just do it because I don’t know how not to.

So when a Muse (W) asked me to volunteer at a soup kitchen along with her and several friends I accepted without thinking much of it.

I found a spot near my partner at a table; who said her name was Nomi.

“Oh, like Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls”

She did not know what I was talking about. I wanted to hide.

She immediately forced three distinct thoughts into one sentence. I went for a walk looking for the huge Jesus statue I would be standing in front of.

None was in sight.

At this point a 6ft 7in Puerto Rican with a pony tail walked up to me and said “Hello, I’m JEE-ZUS”

“Oh, like HEY-ZEUS”

“No, like JEE-ZUS” he countered with mild annoyance.

I found the muses and let them know I would be a bouncer working the door.

Muse (J): Is that necessary?

Me: Apparently, things get out of control out there

The muses excitedly told me about their job. They had been assigned to collect trays from folks who were done eating. I suggested that it would be rude to collect a tray before the others at the table were done eating. Muse (J) laughed heartily, thinking I was joking, I joined in, feigning laughter but feeling a little bit conscious. I was being quite serious.

Outside, I froze my butt off as Nomi took here name quite literally. Here is a list of things we covered while she spoke to keep warm

• The racism her father faced as a Sephardic Jew when he moved to Israel in the 1950s
  
• Her desire to go to Grad School for (something) and her inability to do well on the GREs, which I argued would happen if you did not know what you wanted a masters in
  
• Growing up in Rural Pennsylvania
  
• The day she lost her virginity
  
• Her problems with her boss at work
  
• Some vast conspiracy that protects the moral hypocrisy of the socially conservative right wing of the party by targeting gays. The first guy in line, a homeless gay meth head got really pumped about this little tirade pumping his fist and saying “yeah”
  
• The expenses one incurs trying to eat organic food only
  

Not to be outdone, Jesus would stalk out into the cold occasionally. Primarily to lecture us for being too polite about letting people out through the entrance but occasionally he would tell us about his life

• He should have been President
  
• He served in Vietnam for two tours, totally six years
  
• He had a 35 year old son who was unemployed and played xbox all day
  
• One fellow who was eating at the kitchen, and was very savy about getting food several times, was actually Jesus’ son. He and his wife are jammed up a bit and staying in a shelter nearby
  
• He is a part time bounty hunter, his military training makes this possible
  
• The chubbier of the two janitors has the good weed

Here is a list of things I volunteered about myself

• I was cold

As I watched Jesus and the chubbier of the two janitors smoke, I befriended a schizophrenic waiting for the exact ticket number needed to come up so he could go in and get a cup of tea. We talked a bit about his list of numbers and how he comes by the list of numbers he uses to manage his life. He smoked, laughed and hardly made any sense. It was best conversation I had all day.

As a thank you I sifted through the tickets and handed him a numeric palindrome and showed him why I thought it was really neat. After some convincing he agreed and thanked me for the number in a barely comprehensible way.

The day ended rather uneventfully. I sought out the muses. They were doing quite well. Muse (S) was positively giddy which made no sense. I was sort of upset. I was cold and had just spent an hour befriending a homeless schizophrenic whose life, it was dawning on me, I had just further complicated by sending him on an entirely unproductive search for numeric palindromes. You can’t hold it against her though; she strikes me as a good person to have at a party.

As we parted ways, Nomi turned back and said “Thank you for letting me talk about myself” in a very awkward tone.

I had no response...

NFL Picks

Teams within the NFL can be broken down into 9 divisions:

Humans, super (Giants, Titans)

Humans, 20th century occupational (Steelers, Packers, Cowboys, Saints)

Humans, pre-20th century occupational (Buccaneers, Chiefs, Vikings, Raiders)

Humans, soci0-economic (Patriots, Redskins, Texans, 49'ers)

Non-human mammals, hoofed (Colts, Broncos, Rams)

Non-human mammals, cats (Jaguars, Panthers, Lions, Bengals)

Non-human mammals, other (Dolphins, Bears, Bills, Browns)

Birds (Eagles, Cardinals, Ravens, Falcons, Sea Hawks)

Inorganics (Jets, Chargers - pictured above)

These catagorizations can be used to successfully predict the outcome of most upcoming football games, as shown below.

Jets at Titans: The Jets are one of only two inorganic teams, and the only one that makes any sense. Obviously, a Jet has trouble using its awesome power against very small targets, like humans and non-human mammals. If the Jet can land a blow, it's lights-out. But such precise aim is tricky. The Titan, however, is enormous. It can destroy any other land animal, as it has been doing all season long. But all that size makes the Titan an awfully easy target for a Jet. My pick: J-E-T-S.

Bills at Chiefs: Are there two more losing mascots in the history of mascothood than the buffalo and the Native American? Before the Patriots, Vikings, Raiders, etc. arrived in North America to wipe both out, these two mascots coexisted peacefully, but that is not an option in the NFL. Experience suggests we should look for the dude with the weapons (even if it is only a bow and arrow) to make ground chuck of the lumbering land-whale. My pick: Chiefs.

Patriots at Dolphins: It all comes down to the weather. The Patriots have musket rifles, a huge advantage over unarmed opponents in dry weather, but practically useless when showers dampen their gun powder. Compared to humans, Dolphins are big, powerful, and fast - obvious advantages in this game. But they tend to die in dry environments. The Weather Channel is calling for scattered showers in Miami on Sunday. My pick: Dolphins.

Time Out to Complain

I am taking a brief Time Out from working to write a post. It is very important to Bruno (and me) that Nora is happy, so I am trying to come up with some new good material. Unfortunately, I only have 3 things to gripe about that have made me crotchety over the past few days, which I will share:

1. I can not get to Facebook from work because it is a restricted site, which means that I can only play Evil in Scrabble once per day after working hours. I am going to speak to our Information Security Officer about this restriction that has been imposed on my company, because I truely believe that it would be more beneficial for the company, and I would be more productive if I was able to network with people externally and play competitively against them in Scrabble. This is not an ideal time to be challenging Management, but I am giving this serious thought.

2. Since it is very cold outside, I have been noticing that everyone is sporting new winter-warm-wear, likely purchased at deep discount because of the recession. Long coats, short coats, puffy coats, straight coats, etc. Well, everyone looks pretty slick in their new coats, except for the people who are wearing straight wool coats with a vent in the back. The reason is because they do not remove the thread that is stitched in an "X" holding the vents together. When you purchase a new coat, you should generally take all the tags and extra threads off, and this includes the "X" thread on the back of the coat. Instead, they are walking around with an open vent that is stuck together at the bottom, so not truely "vented" and they look silly. Frustrating.

3. Finally, some work repairmen came to our building yesterday to paint the hallway and our apartment door. When I got home at 10:00 PM, our apartment door was painted shut and I had to borrow a butter knife from our neighbors upstairs to slice through the dried paint to open the door, consequently ruining the new paint job. Also, there was a big bug in the apartment, so after I got in so I killed him with KenTak3's slipper and left the slipper there so he could clean up the mess after he came home later. Why is he out later than me on a school night anyway?

The only consolation is that it is soon the weekend, and there will hopefully be a Hose gathering of sorts and some binge drinking.

NFL Picks

Nora thinks we are lacking this week so I will post some NFL picks so I can remind everyone that THIS IS HARD. I can't be witty all week. I just can't. Evil is hardly ever witty...poor guy. Mamacita can't even get a dinner reservation together this week. You want her to post something. Someone find a picture of some puppies so we can keep the readership under control.

Here are some NFL picks

Jets at Tennessee -5.5 - The Jets are the fourth best team in the NFL. After the Giants, Tennessee and ummm...I'm not sure who, but probably one other team. Tennessee's TD machine is a guy who looks to be in worse shape that me. I think their red zone offense is to tell Lendale "Fat F*ck" White there is a sandwich in the end zone. The Jets will counter by employing a defensive strategy that centers around telling Nose tackle Kris Jenkins that Fat F*ck White is a sandwich. Take the Jets with the points

Buffalo at Kansas City +3.0 - 9 years ago Sparks and I went to a Jets/Buffalo game in November at the height of Parcells Mania. As Mo Lewis sacked Doug Flutie, the guy sitting in front of us pulled out a tray of icy buffalo wings and asked us to partake victoriously. As we stared at our frozen wings from an unknown source, Sparks and I agreed this was a disgusting/horrible idea. Buffalo is overrated and Kansas City is at home, playing alright and have crazy person Herman Edwards at Coach.

New Englad at Miami Pick 'em - Hey Vegas, Grow some balls! Take Miami! They are at home and at some point they will need to make a deep throw. Ronnie Brown will air it out to a streaking Chad Pennington down the sideline.

Somewhat lacking

I Know Just The Person!

Evil

I just read in the news that Velvet Revolver (aka the Original GnR minus Axl Rose) is looking for a new lead singer! Scott Weiland is out of the band. You know who would make a great new lead singer for the band? Evil Twin #2! All those long road trips as a kid is about to pay off...

Chinese Democracy Tuesday

Or Cheap Stunt Tuesday, whatever you prefer.

Anything that takes fourteen years to happen is worth a long hard look. Evil, KillerB and I agreed that we would each listen to an advance copy of Chinese Democracy completely independently and post our thoughts.

Surprisingly, we all had almost the exact same thing to say. Thankfully, we chose to use different words.

Where do we go now? Where do we go now? Chinese Democracy and the wanderings of one Axl Rose

Listening to Chinese Democracy is a lot like hooking up with an ex-girlfriend from years past – you always looked forward to the day it would happen, but you know it won’t mean much to either of you the next day.

Which is why, after listening to the album for the past 2 days, I’m ready to move on to more interesting things.

The title track kicks things off and the listener is quickly comforted to find out that the Axl Rose we all grew up with – brooding, shrieking, lurking behind punishing guitars and pounding drums, is still the Axl Rose we are left with – with about 1/10^th the range. If you were concerned (or hopeful) that he had grown up as a vocalist, put your worries (hope) aside.

For those looking for a November Rain moment, keep looking. Street of Dreams opens with a promising vocal but soon disintegrates into what may as well be any rock ballad from the GnR catalog – Don’t Cry, Yesterday etc.

For those waiting for a Welcome to the Jungle moment, you’ll have to keep waiting as well. While we don’t know much of what Axl has been up to for the past 13 years, it’s safe to say he hasn’t been sleeping on the streets and thus hasn’t had much compelling autobiographical material to draw from. Dare we say Axl lives a boring life now? Yeah, we do.

So, while this might not be much for the casual music fan, for those looking to hookup with an old flame, this album might be just the thing to entertain you for 2 days. It certainly won’t be the same experience as it was in your freshman dorm, but there are worse ways to spend a couple of days. So give it a listen for what it is, even if that is just to remind yourself of how hard you once rocked.

Also, there is a song called Prostitute, so that’s pretty cool.

Who needs a Chinese Democracy?

He did not stand a chance.

First an admission, when Guns N’ Roses was huge I had other interests; Cypress Hill comes to mind, a little bit of Rage against the Machine. Basically I was somewhere else. That aside, I knew what was coming whenever I heard the riff that opens “Sweet Child of Mine”, you all know the words to a song like “November Rain”. This stuff is in the DNA of our own little personal histories. This is exactly the sort of stuff that was playing in the background of our collective youth. More specifically, I remember my first day of high school, watching some cholo drive around the block repeatedly, playing “Welcome to the Jungle”. At the time, I found this act uninspired, little obvious and terribly smug. Looking back now, I think about it and smile.

History has been similarly kind to GnR, these songs have grown in popularity; I think thanks in part to a nostalgia factor. Even the Use Your Illusion period, at the time considered a bit self indulgent and very all over the place, is now affectionately referred to as ambitious and sprawling.

The last decade has been about moving on with the rest of the band finding continued success in the form of Velvet Revolver.

Not Axel Rose.

Holding firm to his vision and replacing band members left and right, he has spent the last fourteen years and reportedly tens of millions of dollars putting together another Guns N' Roses album. It's finally here. It's Chinese Democracy. It is a lot to live up to, too much.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some highlights. The first two cuts on the album are clearly the best, the title track and Sheckler’s Revenge sport a strong baseline, some interesting vocals and generally make you want to tap your feet. After that it drifts. Last year when I read “The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao” I wrote that you could feel the effort; the book was tight, the characters and their evolution real. Of course these things would be real, they evolved in the author's head for well over a decade. In this instance, something else happened. Time did Axel a disservice. The whole thing feels a little over produced, which is saying something, given the expectations associated with the hair band genre. Like many middle age rockers, his voice does not hit the notes as hard as it used to.The album drifts as it goes and at some point I lose interest entirely. Street of Dreams is predictable and a little sappy. If the World woke me up in the middle but mostly because it felt like it was from a different album. The last track, Prostitute is interesting but only vaguely.

Even the title doesn’t make sense anymore. The Chinese economy has been growing like gang busters for the last decade. The movement that spawned the album title has sputtered since Tiananmen Square. China has reaped the rewards of Market Socialism and developed a new class that is hyper nationalistic, wealthy and not terribly interested in Democracy at all.

Hmm...Ok, maybe the title does make sense.

Album Review: Chinese Democracy, by Guns 'N Roses

Evil

A lot can happen in 15 years. But then again, very little can happen in 15 years.

The first statement applies generally to the world around us. Clinton (Bill), George W. Bush, 9/11, Gore (almost), W. again, two wars, Clinton (Hillary)… no, it’s Obama… no, it’s Palin, actually, it’s really Obama. Hope!

The second statement applies to Axl Rose, Guns ‘n Roses, and the (finally) upcoming album, Chinese Democracy. About 15 years in the making, Democracy is GnR’s 6th studio album and the first since 1993’s The Spaghetti Incident.

When I heard that The Hose was obtaining an early preview copy of Democracy, my first reaction was to wonder, will this album even be relevant – both socially and musically? On first listen, the album did not strike me in any way. It perhaps even confused me. What is this album even about? Why was it even released? Who is the record executive who green-lighted this and when is he going to get fired? There were so many questions.

On the surface, Democracy sounds muddled, with layers of sound that you can imagine piled on during the album’s years in the studio. This is not the raw punch that is Appetite For Destruction. It is not even the overly-symphonic, overly self-indulgent, yet somewhat-coherent Use Your Illusion (I & II). Illusion’s "Civil War" and Democracy’s "Madagascar" both sample Strother Martin’s speech from Cool Hand Luke. But whereas "Civil War" lifts the dialogue basically in its raw form, Madagascar features it sliced, diced, and intertwined with samples from Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

Complexity aside, and defections of all original members not named Axl aside, Democracy does sound like a GnR album. That is, if GnR were a band of middle-aged corporate sellouts (even if they don’t know it). If there’s a single organizing principle around the tracks in this album, it’s one of “F*ck you and f*ck the world!” Democracy is an enraged outburst, but is anyone listening?

Wow, This is F'd Up

Evil

I'm not sure who this "artist" really is, but I have a suspicion that it's Manolo.

Anyone Interested?

Evil


Does anyone want to go to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show with me? Is Feb 9th and 10th at Madison Square Garden. Maybe we'll see one of Bruno's relatives there!

Shake your fanny, we want Manny

The scene on Friday November 3, 2008, outside the New York Mets' Offices in the new Citi Field, sponsored by Citibank.

It's sad to see how the unemployed spend their days....I curse these recessionary times.

I'm just glad no one was hurt. Mr. Wilpon has the look of a terrified airplane hostage in the early 80s.

Special thanks to Baron Von Hayes for tracking this down for us...

Starbucks Gold

Evil


When I went into my neighborhood Starbucks and said, "I'd like to buy a Starbucks Gold card, " the cashier perked up and responded, "Oh! The Gold card, yes! I'll go get one for you right away." She ran to the back storage room and seemingly rummaged around for several full minutes before emerging with a Gold card.

When I went into my near-work Starbucks and charged a grande Pike Place coffee to the Gold card, the cashier looked at it and said, "Oh! You have a Gold card!"

Why is the Gold card garnering such surprised reactions? Is it because demand is low?

Xtian + Evil = Liars

"Since all of our friends were busy and had other plans on Friday night, Xtian and I decided to go to a basketball game."

Liars. Evidence from our Friday AM chat below. Not only do they not say what they are doing, they don't even mention they are doing it together! Tier 0 no longer. You just got dumped to tier 2, where I keep my so-so out of town friends and people I meet at church.

10:55 AM
me: beers after work?
Xtian: today?
Evil: hi i cant make it today
me: booo x-tian? today?
10:56 AM
Xtian: no can do what are you doing tomorrow
Evil: xtian is so difficult
me: okay - I'll move on to my tier 1 friends
Xtian: its raining
Evil: we're your tier 0 friends?
Xtian: inner core?
me: yes - like brothers - not even friends - something more

Xtian And Evil Go To A Basketball Game

Evil

Since all of our friends were busy and had other plans on Friday night, Xtian and I decided to go to a basketball game. The Atlanta Hawks were in town to play the New Jersey Nets. We weren't the only ones with that idea. Jay Z was at the game!

Even though there was a basketball game going on, I don't think we watched much of it because there were so many distractions in the arena. For example, check out this cheerleader's crotch:

In general, the Nets cheerleaders exceeded expectations. They all had some nice booty, even the white girls.

There were only two Chinese people in the entire area. I was one and I spotted the other one sitting across the court from us (we were in Row 9, center court, biotches!). If she weren't already wearing a gigantic ring, I would totally marry her. Drats! Too late, yet again. Oh well.

Shock(er)ing

I've been waiting all season to bring this up....

Last year, The New England Patriots went 16-0 in the regular season. Normally, this is a great achievement, as teams just don't do that. However, the Pats did this in the same year they got slapped in the face by the NY (football) Giants in a very exciting Superbowl. So, the question is, should we speak of it? Or more importantly, should we hang a banner on it? I got an A- minus in Analysis of Algorithms in 1997. Should I get a banner for that and put it over my bed?

A bit much, no?


In my mind, this is the football equivalent of another unnecessary banner...


Thank you, Brett Favre for making it OK to bring up this very important topic. See you fools in the playoffs

R

Do not have a good feeling about me and R. Maybe it is done. Maybe time to move on.

Things that Rock: Puppies

Don't tell Bruno Bear I'm posting this link.

The Post-Election NOW WHAT?

Evil

For the better part of the last ten to twelve months, I've spent a good 20 hours every week watching political coverage on TV. The first thing I'd do in the morning is switch on MSNBC to for some Morning Joe and then hop in the shower. I have a TV in my office, so on most days, I have CNN in the background. I'd also turn on political coverage first thing after getting home from work. Needless to say, I watched the coverage of every primary, every caucus, every debate. Add on the Sunday talk shows: This Week with George Stephanopoulos, The Chris Matthews Show, and Meet The Press.

We now have a president elect. NOW WHAT? How do I spend these 20 extra hours? Any tips from the Hosers?

Overheard In New York

Evil

Overheard on the 2 train, headed downtown. Two women are talking. Typical mid-to-late 30's New Yorkers. They're talking about boyfriends, dating, past relationships. And one says to the other:

"You are intimidatingly smart."

The other replies:

"I know!!!"

And on top of that she adds:

"I once dating a guy who went to Harvard who told me I was too smart. Harvard! HARVARD!"

Listen lady, I don't know how smart you are. You're probably pretty smart. But you have neither modestly nor self awareness nor social intelligence. You're pushing 40. You need to spend some more time on the treadmill. The number one thing keeping you from finding a man is not that you're too smart. Men do care about intelligence, but that is like #11 on the list of priorities.

Madmen!

Evil

Fellow Hosers Xtian, Le Trois, Killer B1 and Killer B2 were all decked out in 1960s outfits at the Madmen themed party last night. Too bad I showed up late and the Killer Bs had to take off before I spent much time asking the whereabouts of their honeymoon photos (Argentina vacation). But Killer B1 promises me that he's going to work on them today and will post them soon. WOOO!

R and I grabbed a quick dinner downtown and dropped by the Madmen party. The place was packed. So much so that at one point, R's hand mysteriously grabbed Xtian's ass. It was awkward, I have to say.

Off to SF for a couple of days. Going to watch the Giants vs. Eagles game from the hotel later today and then meet up with Evil Twin #2's grumpy friend for dessert.

Drapering

Going to a madmen party tomorrow. You can bet that there will be drapering going on.

Feeling punchy

At punch with evil, kentak, mamacita, and me trois. We are having a grand old time. I am shitfaced.

Clean Sweep

What an exciting week it's been! First Obama, and now KillerB #1 in landslide victories. There's so much hope for the future.

KillerB #1, it looks like the voters believe you should spend time with your lovely new wife instead of training a puppy, are too cheap to buy you a drink (with the recession and all), and don't think you need any fashion help.

Good news! Just a little muscle milk to help with your flexing in photos.

Whoa

Best. Acceptance. Speech. Ever. Did anyone else forget what it felt like to be inspired (or at least impressed (or at the very least, not embarrassed)) with a government leader? If President Elect Barack Obama wants me to serve with him as Secretary of Energy, I will accept.

Good question

Xtian brings up a good question on McCain's legacy. There is no doubt that many, many of us respected McCain much more 12 months ago than we did yesterday. For the past six months, it has been difficult to recognize the man I had hoped would challenge W in the 2004 primary, or the guy who was within a breath of become John Kerry's running mate.

But I think history will forgive McCain the candidate, and remember McCain the senator. He's been the only powerful Republican in the past decade to stand up against the crazies in his party. I think that's what history will remember.

Unless that manic Palin becomes president at some point. Then he will be remembered as the guy who opened Pandora's box.

Concession

John McCain is up making a concession speech. It's a classy speech, a bit broad on the symbol of a black man as president rather than the impact of Obama as a man but it still reminds us all of the guy we all knew he was somewhere deep down.

His supporters need to shut the f*ck up, but that's neither here nor there.

I am suddenly hung up on what his political epithet will be.

Will it be an homage to the guy of who stood alone in the face of a typhoon that was the Bush machine in 2000 and suffered greatly for it?

Or, somewhat sadly, will it be one that focuses on a guy who gave up a little too much of his soul, making deals with devils and still coming up short?

56 senate seats and we are preposterously close to the idea of Senator Al Franken.

Called before prime time (Pacific)

All the CNN comentators, Reps and Dems, are crying. Very touching.

Three cheers for Florida irrelevance. Three cheers for Obama.

That's it

MSNBC just called all the western states for Obama then cut to Grant Park, Harlem and Spellman College.

Big Party all around.

Hope! Realized! (F*ck you, even I got a bit misty)

Jesse Jackson is in tears somewhere.

Bill Bennett for some reason just had the most poignant reaction of them all. Invoking the name of Lincoln, nice job Bill...

Chavez wants to meet with the "Black Man"

Not sure what to do with myself I punched in "Chavez" "Obama" into the google. Here is what came back

I hope Chavez learns to call President Obama something other than "the black man".

fivethrityeight.com perspective

At 10:06pm fivethirtyeight.com put this up...interesting

Orange County Florida

The Bump's tactic of intimidating voters in Orange County all morning has worked. Chuck Todd just told us that Orange County, Fl is 60% for Obama!

wooo

Rout

I've been informed that "rout" does not have an "e."

Route

207 electoral votes, and they have not called CA, WA, or OR yet. If he takes FL, he'll be over 300.

Quiet Lull

Everyone is too scared to make a call of any note in a swing state. MSNBC cut to Grant Park to talk to a little black girl who is super excited about Barack...

Texas just went to Sen. McCain but Catjjy and I just did some math and are feeling pretty good about things

Whoa!

Did anyone else see the ABC "Internet Coverage" girl? Viana Golodiras or something like that? She is responsible for loggin on to Facebook and looking very pretty (but not as pretty as Catjjy). Who is she?

CNN calls OHIO!

I think for McCain to win now he needs to win California. My vote matters!

And the winner is....

Soledad O'Brien by a landslide. She represents our beautiful omni-racial future. Cambell Brown is yesterday's news.

Harold Ford Jr. for Secretary of Keeping It Real.

Breaking news!

CNN goes Lord of the Flies. William Bennet scarfs a foot-long meatball grinder, then wipes his mouth with David Gergin. Things are getting wild!

Ohio

Fox just projected Ohio for Barack. They have 200 for Barack.

Over on CNN, I think David Gergen just asleep, face down in his soup, mid sentence.

Back on Fox, they have started interviewing McCain ground troops. Looking for a scapegoat they are asking if this mess is all Gov Palin's fault. Nice job guys!

Harold Ford Jr!

MSNBC just found Former Congressman Harold Ford Jr. Where's he been hiding?

Is a brother vying for a cabinet post?

Mike Murphy, MSNBC token Republican, is just about rolling over for Barack.

MSNBC can't stop calling States

While refusing to call Virgina (based on what looks like two counties up for debate) and NC, they just threw Arkansas to McCain.

Morris Day and I just debated who was hotter Soledad O'Brien or Campbell Brown.

Catjjy just called so I could hear Cha say "Obama". we need to record that and get that up on the Hose ASAP.

Chuck Todd just threw a wet blanket on everything thinking that Virgina is not looking good for Barack...don't ruin my buzz with your sober rational analysis.

Excellent point

Obama is going to keep Fox News in business for the next decade. Hannity probably voted for him.

New vote: should Xtian and I get a room? Where is everyone else? Is Evil live-blogging for a competing organization? Is Killer B too busy being a devoted husband?

Dead Man Broadcasting

Brit Hume looks horrible. Is he ok?

Fox is doing a somber piece on the lack of voter fraud/suppression concerns. Kind of burying the lead there, aren't we guys?

This piece is coming from Ohio. This morning on Imus, Paul Begala said that he heard there would be 80% turn out in Ohio. That's just nuts!

Bill Kristol just admitted this will be the most liberal government since LBJ.

Hume just asked "Is this actually a center left country?"

I don't understand why this feels like a funeral. They get to rag on the Dems endlessly for the next two years!

Switch Channels!

NBC is calling things left and right. Obama has 340 electoral votes, McCain has 300. It's madness.

The Cha just said "Obama"! Very cute. Anyone who wants to hear a 1.5 year get brainwashed by his parents, give us a call.

The big story

Is that CNN is afraid to call anything. With 40% of the precincts reporting they refuse to call Florida for Obama!

MSNBC has Indiana and NC being too close to call!

Someone call Florida before I start crying Bourbon!

As a sidebar, apparently Tom Brokaw played daddy to all these MSNBC goons a few weeks ago and told them all to grow up. To the point where the Morning Joe guy and dbag Olbermann had to caveat every analysis of polling in the last few weeks with "Taking Tom Brokaw's advice to heart, I won't say this is over but..." as if it's Tom's fault that he's not a d-bag.

At this point the only difference between CNN and MSNBC tracking is that CNN has 1 of Maine's 4 electoral votes going to Sen. McCain. Who knew you could split electoral votes.

Gotta run over to Fox and see if Sean Hannity has killed himself yet.

Ice rink

Is anyone else enjoying the NBC 30 Rock ice rink with the election map, being diligently colored in as states are called? Nice tough. I don't recall that in previous elections.

Hagan wins!

"There is no God!!" didn't work. So long, Liddy Dole!

Oh No!

Campbell Brown is pregnant?!?!?!

This may shake out to be the one disappointment I will need to deal with all night.

CNN is refusing to call anything. Everyone else has Sununu falling out of the back of the bus but they just spent 4 minutes explaining why they won't call this race. Campbell Brown might need to lose her top to keep viewers...

More Wow

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The Bay Area breaks for Obama

Wooooo! 5pm in the West and the Bourbon is about to start flowing. Good for ABC to have the grapes to call Obama with so little of the vote in. Let the route begin!

Woah

MSNBC just called Pennsylvania for Barack, throwing Barack over 103 Electoral votes! Apparently Bucks County went 2-1 for Barack, who knew!

CNN still says too early to call about the Quaker State. We'll see what they say as things come through.

Odd thing is Alabama and Miss. are open and too close to call.

Barack has not flipped a state yet. Everyone needs to mellow out.

Apparently, Barack is has taken 3% more non-college voters than Senator Kerry did last year. Interesting.

Chris Matthews is sober, but just barely. I am not. Third glass of bourbon!

WOO

More Quickie

Nice one by Starbucks!

The Hose Endorsement

We have been holding back our endorsements till now to ensure the maximum effect on these "swing voters".

Seriously, who are these people? How long does it take for them to decide what dressing to put on their salad or what tie to put on in the morning. I want answers!

New Favorite blog

Meghan McCain, Daughter of Presidential Candidate, Senator John McCain, has a blog. It's awesome.

Here she is discussing how "punk rock" it is to be a Republican.

There are also several photos and comments about the endorsement of McCain by Linda Ramone, widow of Joey Ramone.

Fascinating

xtian is undone

 


Evil and I walked around a bit on Friday night, soaking in the Halloween scene. As we crossed Elizabeth Street, I quickly turned to Evil and said

"That's Media Mogul/Star Editor-At-Large/Time Out NY Dating Columnist Julia Allison!"

His response was something to the effect of "No way"

He drifted over to her and whispered in the creepiest way possible "Are you Julia Allison?"

"Yes" she chirped...

I'll admit, I was elated. I am legitimately a huge fan of hers. Wierd I know. However, I have always been fascinated by her TV appearances on MSNBC and Fox News. Beyond that, Gawker spent a good deal of time obsessed with her. Most recently, I developed a new found appreciation for her reading this article a few months ago. She clearly knows how to generate buzz.

Evil and I have been plotting quietly about how to finally take the world by storm, using her story as a blue print.

She definitely sticks out, even on the street in costume. I mean she's gorgeous in person. Though shorter than I imagined. Perky, and generally engaging, the sort of chick that could take over a room when she entered...

Evil noticing how slackjawed I was, asked if I wanted a photo with her.

"Noooooooooo" I stammered, before recovering and following up with a question of my own "Would you like one?"

Evil quickly resisted while communicating a mild disgust that was directed to me, but not in an obvious way.

Looking back at us, she pipped in with a snarky "Thanks guys..."

Realizing that we were ruining this, I took action. Stuttering and tripping over myself, I brushed past Evil to get to her.

Mid pose, she switched sides, offer that this pose was on her good side...

Staring at her boobs I asked quietly "you have a good side?"

Stupid! Stupid! It did not come out the way I intended. Nothing was. Oh no!

She looked back at me judgingly.

"I mean a better side" I offered meekly...attempting a recovery after banging my head on the diving board.

We stood there for a moment, watching her and her friends bound down the street.

Evil managed to laugh at me the whole walk to the next bar.