That's not funny

I had the weirdest experience in the gym today. I have been working out a lot lately, striving to get back into California shape for my eventual triumphant return to the only place I have ever enjoyed living, outside of Sao Paolo. People stop and say I am starting to look good generally, and I appreciate their courtesy, but they're wrong. Right now, I look like a guy who played high school football and was in great shape then went to college and drank and pot smoked thru life for the next 8 years and now its now...The upside is that, by my math I look 26, just a "hard lived" 26.

But I digress, in the locker room, I walk around naked. I do I don't care. The unwritten rules is that this is totally allowed so long as we as a community of males who work out focus on whats on him as opposed to looking around. As a result I can walk around with out too much stress. While undressing post workout, I noticed that this brother over my left shoulder was a little to into my movement.

As I walked by, en route to the shower, he held his gaze like it was ok. As I got to the stalls, I had a new thought, what if he's trying to steal my stuff? I race back and decide to weigh myself, so I can see if he's at my locker...he's not, he's still sitting there shirtless staring at me "you dropping some weight?"

Ah, he's a trainer, he's going to hard sell me on working out with him. Odd place to approach a guy I thought but whatever..."lil bit" I said.

He just looked at me and nodded a bit, like he understood, all the while evaluating me, looking me up and down...

Unnerved by the voyeurism, I took a shower, I can see the hand towel dispenser from my shower and looking out I saw him again standing at the hand towel dispenser and staring at me till I noticed him. Then he quickly vanished.

This was getting m-f-ing weird!

As I put on my jeans (my pair of f-me jeans...the only ones in the world that really make my butt look good) I turned around, he was backing out of the locker room looking at me.

What the f*ck?