Evil
It's 7:25pm and it's my boss calling me for the second time in the last twenty minutes. He's asking me, "Where are you!?" with a hint of worry in his voice. I tell him (again) that I'm sorry for being late and that I'm really close. My cab is at a red light and I can see the Beverly Hills hotel right in front of me, which is where I'm supposed to be. "Be there in one minute," I say.
When I get there, I hop out of my cab and immediately scoot into the black sedan he has waiting in front of the hotel. "So what's this client dinner we're going to?" I ask. He tells me that everything's been poorly organized and it's a bit of a clusterf*ck, but that our company is basically looking to buy this small mobile-related startup and we're going to have dinner and drinks at the home of the startup's founder. I'm thinking that sounds cool. If the guy lives in Beverly Hills, he must have some money already. I'm looking forward to seeing his place. I take mental notes of opulent homes, because one day, I plan to be a rich douchebag too and I want to play the part well.
We get to the apartment complex, buzz in through the gates with a code that my boss has on his blackberry and walk up to the pool area. There's a crowd there already... obviously, because I was 35 minutes late in meeting my boss at his hotel. Not expecting to know anyone there... but the first person I see is a co-worker. Then another. Then another.
Ooooh! This is my going away party! I'm thinking to myself, "Holy crap! They went so much out of their way to make it a real surprise by throwing the party in Beverly Hills." They had me fly in under the guise of some client dinner and they flew in too, most of them from NYC and a few from SF. How awesome is that?
BUT... this was the real surprise:
My brain is still processing the fact that I'm at a going away party and not a client dinner when suddenly, Mystery walks up to me and starts to "peacock" my outfit. As you regular Hosers know, I'm fairly obsessed with most reality TV shows and this year, VH1's The Pickup Artist was the best show on television (or just in my head, but I loved it).
Turns out that the reason we all came to Beverly Hills was to party at Mystery's place. Poolside BBQ, drinks, and chillin out. Working on our pickup lines.
Mystery's entourage was there in full force. Remember Joe D? He was on the show. Joe D turned out the be super cool. Really chill. Here's a group shot of us making idiotic faces. Joe W (far left) and Brady (far right) were there too. Kosmo, the guy who won the show, isn't in this pic, but he dropped by too.
Part of this Peacock Theory that Mystery has involves wearing outlandish outfits and accessorizing well because those are all conversation starters. And it gives girls a chance to touch things on our body. Like this, for example...
But even if you're Mystery, there are still rules... and one of the rules is that the apartment complex makes you vacate the pool area at 10pm sharp so as to not disturb the neighbors. So we took the crew up to Mystery's apartment, where there was more picking up to be had. Check out the scene behind me.
So there you go! My "client dinner" in Beverly Hills.
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