The Hose

Evil

'ROIDED UP!

I have to know, man, who in baseball is 'roided up and who isn't? It's like when I was a kid and someone broke the lamp in the living room. My mom just wanted to know who the heck broke the lamp: me, my no good little brother, or my snotty big sister. My mom wouldn't have gotten mad or anything. She just wanted to know, you know? (Or at least that's what she said. Moral of the story: never trust my mom. I owned up to breaking the lamp and that woman beat me within an inch of my life. You think The Passion of The Christ has some violent scenes, you should have seen my childhood. But I digress...)

Back to baseball... I'll admit that take steroids doesn't do anything for increasing bat speed or foot speed. I don't really know why baseball players would do it, seeing as it makes your pee pee smaller, gives you acne, and makes your head bigger. WHO WANTS A BIG HEAD??? But you have to admit though: Barry Bonds does look pretty suspicious these days: