The Hose

Things Said to me on Saturday Evening when the worlds collided and EVIL met some of my school friends

(1) "so let me get this straight, none of you are in a relationship. Neither of you are trying to hook up with her? That settles it you and [Evil] are both clearly gay" - my cool, female married friend.
(2) "That's personal and inappropriate." - My friend's wife
(3) "where are all the single women at?" -EVIL
(4) "He's not even vietnamese is he?" - A short vietnamese classmate that EVIL tried to put the move on. I defended him with "He's actually half vietnamese/half Puerto Rican. Jackson Heights Baby"
(5) "did your friend just say he's getting off on the boob rubs as he walks around...ill"
(6) "you can't dance" to which i replied "i'm just drunk"

Here's an exchange EVIL and I had

Me: Gotta admit pretty funny
EVIL: ONly you would think that's funny. That's not funny at all.
ME (not said but thought): I could crush your windpipe right now. That would be funny, you Knee Cutting Bastard


I was pretty ripped towards the end of the evening. Apparently, I thought better of it and bagged the afterparty I idea and jumped in a car going to the East Bay. I did not realize this until we were well over the bridge. When I was asked what exit to take to where I lived I realized that a Trinidadian dude was passed out on my shoulder and the creepy classmate with an asian fixation (CCWAF) were also in the car. The car btw, belonged to my vietnamese classmate, who i had spent the better part of 2 hours positioning EVIL to hit off. I wondered aloud "what am i doing in this car? who are you people?"

When I got home my roommate was asleep on the couch. I woke his ass up and we continued drinking. He was discussing some problem he had with a significant other. I encouraged him repeatedly (occasionally with shoves towards the door) that it was a problem that needed to be resolved right that second, by driving to South Bay at 4am (while drunk)!!!

Later I passed out on the rug.

Proof that EVIL is in fact evil...
EVIL"are you going to try to stab you cool married, friend's husband in the back? I think you are"
X-Tian "that thought had not even crossed my mind. What's wrong with you?"
EVIL"oh...um...nothing...hahaha"