The Hose

Evil

CLEARING THE AIR

On Saturday night, I ran out to Bed Bath & Beyond and bought an air purifier. I'm not sure why I had the sudden urge to purify the air around me, but the feeling hit me and it hit me hard. As such, I bought one of those heavy duty HEPA filters. Good stuff.

I was reading the instruction manual and noticed a couple of interesting points:

1. "The HEPA filter removes virtually all airborne particles passing through it." More specifically, it filters out 99.97% of all particles, down to 0.03 microns.

2. "The HEPA filter should be changed every 12 months."

Points 1 and 2 combined has me thinking: When I go to change that filter 12 months from now, HOW SKANKY IS IT GOING TO BE? I mean, that thing will have trapped all sorts of pollen, dirt, house dust, comet dust, dust mites, bed mites, boogers, flu viruses, HIV, airborn cum and dried fecal matter in it over the course of a full year. Will I die instantly once I touch it? I am afraid.