The Hose

Evil

RANDOM THOUGHTS WHILE HAVING MY MORNING COFFEE

One. Obligatory comment about last night's baseball game: Thank goodness I don't have to watch the Red Sox anymore. I developed OCD somewhere around game 3 and I'm hoping it'll wear off at some point. What's with Nomar's insane wrist tapping between every pitch? I dunno, but I find it very addictive. Every time he comes to the plate, I find myself tapping my own wrists just like he does. I was driving myself insane.

Two. Why are my people putzing around in space? I get ragged on because I use the phrase "That's my bag, baby!" at least once a day and Austin Powers is a 6 year old movie. Sending people into space is so JFK-esque, but then again, all of China's political leaders are the same age as what JFK would be today. If you ask me, China should allocate 100% of its scientific resources toward genetically engineering more Yao Ming's. How much would that rock. I'm pretty sure that Yao himself is genetically engineered but he's just a prototype. The production model is expected to feature: better peripheral vision for passing, greater overall athleticism, and a suave British accent.

Three. I used to think that the high school I went to, Stuyvesant HS in New York City, was for smart kids. That's what they kept telling us. After reading this article in the New York Times, I've determined that I went to a clown high school. Some outtakes from the article:

At Stuyvesant High School, the tales are similar. "Someone brought in a universal remote and walked through the halls turning on all the TV's in classrooms," one Stuyvesant junior said. ... another added that her friend often used a minilaser pointer to put a moving red dot on the teacher's backside whenever he turned away from the class.

C'mon now. Next thing you know, kids are going to be pelting their classmates in the back of the head with Skittles.