Gay Cruise???
So I just recently spent a few days in the Caribbean, and boy oh boy, are my arms tired! (rim shot)…
Anyways, I was on a 10 day cruise through the Bahamas, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. Good times, good times!!!
And no Mr. Evil, it was not a gay cruise!!!
A few general warnings though for anyone thinking of taking a cruise…
1) Make sure you hit the gym before taking a cruise…I don’t mean you need to be all Adonis like but it’s a fact that you will gain 15-20 pounds when everything is said and over. There is food left and right and you really never stop eating. I think I hit my low point when I took my pent-up aggression against the French and their lack of support for the war in Iraq by eating all by myself a 4 feet tall chocolate Eiffel Tower...(picture to come later).
2) Do not talk to old ladies…As we were leaving port one day, we were buffeted by huge gusts of wind. Anyways, there was this old woman holding on to her hat for dear life which meant that her flower dress was flapping in the winds, and yes, she had no underwear on. I assume she didn’t know what kind of show she was putting on so I politely informed her of the fact. She resentfully turned to me and stated “Listen SONNY, this is a new hat and I am not letting it go. What I have down there is 82 years old and if you or anybody else on this boat gets off by staring at my 82 year-old pu$$&, there is really nothing I can do about it."
3) Please be aware that any mirrors you see are two-way mirrors and is a good indication of where the security office is. After 9/11, they take security very seriously. If you see a door marked “Crew”, do not feel inclined to walk in looking for the crew’s night club/bar. Otherwise, you will find yourself behind one of the aforementioned two-way mirrors watching people pick their nose…
4) And finally, at no point ask a crew member when the next chimp knife fights or the bullfights are going to start…They don’t really get to watch the Simpsons that often on TV and don’t find it funny as you or I….
Yankee Fan in South Florida
The last week or so have been really tough for this Yankee fan…I am still shell shocked that the Yankees lost…I will be honest and tell you that I didn’t mind it Saturday night that much. Perhaps it was because the loss was still too fresh or that the good people of South Beach decided to strip and run naked down Ocean Drive…
I was really upset this past Tuesday though as I had to constantly waltz past all these new found Marlins fans. The Marlins have fans coming out of the woodworks like little cockroaches… I will bury them cockroaches...
With the possible exception of Venezuela who fields a baseball team during the winter league season, I am especially upset at the South Americans…Freaking Ecuadorians and Colombians and Peruvians and Brazilians walking around Calle Ocho waving their flags like they won the World Cup or something. Xtian, you were in Brazil this summer…did you see any kids playing baseball in the means streets of Rio de Janeiro???
I doubt it very much...
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Evil
I really can't think of a gayer thing for X-TIAN and SLEEVE to do than to think about me spanking my monkey. In any event, do need clarification on one thing X-TIAN posted:
Evil has been abstaining from not masturbating for about 10 years.
Did you mean to have that "not" in there? Because I don't really understand what you're trying to say.
On an unrelated note... the NYC Marathon is this Sunday. I'm considering fasting from now until then just to clear up my entire intestinal tract. I don't want any weird accidents at mile #22 or whatnot.
Evil has been abstaining from not masturbating for about 10 years. I know for reasons I would rather not get into right now.
Evil does have a good point though, Jane Campion's new film In the Cut apparently stars Meg Ryan's feet not Meg Ryan as the trailer would lead you to believe...kinky.
Additionally, American Psycho was directed by Mary Herron and I can't think of a more erotic movie from the last ten years...
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Evil
OUTDATED MOVIE REVIEW
I caught Sofia Coppola's film --Lost in Translation-- over the weekend. The movie posters show Bill Murray sitting on a bed. He's wearing a robe and bath slippers. Someone really missed the boat on marketing this film. The female lead, Scarlett Johansson is a HOT piece of ass. And I mean that literally. The film opens with an tight shot of her tight ass in see-thru panties. A good 60 seconds of ass camera work.
The thing about this movie is that I had a hell of a time keeping my hands out of my pants. Not only that, I had to really fight off the urge to give myself a happy ending right there in the theater. Hey, it's dark right? But anyway, I'm pretty sure this has something to do with female directors. They pace a movie differently than male directors. They build up tension very differently. I felt very manipulated (emotionally, that is) several times during the movie, including at the end. The tension of this movie reminds me of The Piano, which was directed by Jane Campion. The cinematography couldn't be more different between the two but the emotional ebb and flows are the same. Hey, I worked in the word "flow" while discussing a female issue. Woooo!
Anyway, all this analysis makes me want to do something pants-less. Please excuse me. Laters...
Evil
I was doing a sales call with some creatives at Fox yesterday. Weird meeting. I was trying to sell them stuff, but they had a completely different agenda. This chick at Fox couldn't stop hyping up The OC Blog. C'mon, lady. There are starving children in the world. Half the world has a serious AIDS problem. The Middle East is a powderkeg.
Oh, by the way... please buy the stuff I'm trying to sell. Dammit.
Monday, October 27, 2003
So I looooooooooooooove Spike Jonze videos, they are pretty cool and disturbing...
Check it out...
The Work of Director Spike Jonze
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Evil
BASEBALL RECAP
The Yankees couldn't manage to score more than 0 runs last night? That reminds me of Winter 2002, when I couldn't manage to roll out of bed anytime before 11:30am. Rough patch. That's what happened to the Yankees.
Joe Torre should have called on me to pinch hit. I could have driven in a run or two. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who was looking for me to get in the game. Actually, I was also surprised that X-TIAN didn't get any game action for the Marlins, seeing as he's a flexible switch hitter and all. (Yes, X-TIAN plays for the other team.)
Oh well. Whatever. The Yankees will re-sign Paul O'Neill and everything will be alright again.
Friday, October 24, 2003
evil: dude
evil: you have a lot of anger
evil: do you need to go punch a hooker in the stomach
evil: i think you do
evil: why dont you drive over to oakland and find a hooker who's down on her luck
evil: give her a lincoln and punch her in the gut
x-tian: lincoln?
evil: $5
x-tian: oh
x-tian: i thought you meant like a navigator
evil: oh
evil: if you had a navigator, you could drive over her
evil: and then laugh
evil: yo, whats with the anger
x-tian: true
x-tian: i wish i knew
evil: nothing a plate of hot wings and 6 beers couldnt fix
x-tian: good point
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Evil
Seriously procrastinating here... I've got 6 more days to wrap up this business school application but I can't seem to overcome this desire to sit around shirtless and scratch my belly. I think I'm channeling some Jack Black. That guy is my new hero maybe. He's like the poor man's Robert Downey Jr. Super talented, minus the heroine.
Has anyone been watching the World Series? I've watched mostly with my pants off and even then it wasn't that exciting. Last night I found myself flipping thru the channels and watching The Bachelor during commercial breaks. This season's Bachelor is somewhat interesting because the bachelor is a Former Fat Guy. He's all self-deprecating and stuff. He's the type of guy who gets his wallet lifted in the subway and then spends a good 30 minutes verbally berating himself in public.
Wait, I was commenting about the World Series. Yes... Has anyone noticed the complexity of Ugeth Urbina's facial hair? There's no way that guy isn't a fruitcake. (Sleeve, I checked the MLB.com photo gallery for a recent pic of Urbina but couldn't find one. What's up with that?!)
Someone in the apartment below me is playing the tuba. Who even plays a tuba anymore? This person isn't actually playing anything with a melody, just a bunch of scales. Over and over. This might drive me insane pretty soon.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
damn, we lost another one today...f*ck John Ritter, this dude was the real...
Herald.com - Your Miami Everything Guide
Elliot Smith is dead!!! NOOOOOOOO
love Elliot Smith, damn...might have to go play Baby Britain when i get home tonight....
Songwriter Elliott Smith Is Dead at 34: "Smith subsequently signed with DreamWorks Records and recorded two albums; ``XO'' (1998) and ``Figure 8'' (2000) continued his critical winning streak, and took him to the middle reaches of Billboard's Top 200 albums chart."
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Murder on the Dance Floor
There is this FREAKING AWESOME RADIO STATION in the Bay Area, 92.7 Party!! that one of my friends put me onto recently. Its so great. They don't seem to have a website so you can't stream which is odd. Even odder, they don't seem to play ads, just killer dance music. The old Party 95.5 in Orlando was like that but then they just started playing hip-hop...which makes no sense to me, becuase i mean seriously, its not like hip-hop is all over the top 10 Billboard charts or anything (oh um...right)
Friday, October 17, 2003
Evil
RANDOM THOUGHTS WHILE HAVING MY MORNING COFFEE
One. Obligatory comment about last night's baseball game: Thank goodness I don't have to watch the Red Sox anymore. I developed OCD somewhere around game 3 and I'm hoping it'll wear off at some point. What's with Nomar's insane wrist tapping between every pitch? I dunno, but I find it very addictive. Every time he comes to the plate, I find myself tapping my own wrists just like he does. I was driving myself insane.
Two. Why are my people putzing around in space? I get ragged on because I use the phrase "That's my bag, baby!" at least once a day and Austin Powers is a 6 year old movie. Sending people into space is so JFK-esque, but then again, all of China's political leaders are the same age as what JFK would be today. If you ask me, China should allocate 100% of its scientific resources toward genetically engineering more Yao Ming's. How much would that rock. I'm pretty sure that Yao himself is genetically engineered but he's just a prototype. The production model is expected to feature: better peripheral vision for passing, greater overall athleticism, and a suave British accent.
Three. I used to think that the high school I went to, Stuyvesant HS in New York City, was for smart kids. That's what they kept telling us. After reading this article in the New York Times, I've determined that I went to a clown high school. Some outtakes from the article:
At Stuyvesant High School, the tales are similar. "Someone brought in a universal remote and walked through the halls turning on all the TV's in classrooms," one Stuyvesant junior said. ... another added that her friend often used a minilaser pointer to put a moving red dot on the teacher's backside whenever he turned away from the class.
C'mon now. Next thing you know, kids are going to be pelting their classmates in the back of the head with Skittles.
Collection of Columns from the School Paper
I have been writing a weekly column about my job search in the school paper, Haasweek. Its pretty low stress i turn something in sometime thursday and it gets published after the language gets cleaned up a bit. Apparently my school paper allows all sorts of curse words to be published. Who knew.
Since the website for haasweek has not been updated since April, I have taken to posting unedited (as in unedited for grammar and misspelling erros) versions here.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
All good in the 'hood?
For long time friends, you know i used to have a kick ass apt in Washington Heights.
I basically treat it as my adopted neighborhood mostly because I hated most people that lived in Yorkville or Astoria (except for the roommates of course, One love, guys!)
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Joe Lavin is sort of my spiritual mentor
I have been reading Joe Lavin's stuff for a long time. He's great because he's so freaking funny but does not seem to make any money off his genius. He apparently has written a book, which he might publish himself, at kinkos, on an order by order basis. Anyway, he's awesome and he's prolific and he writes and he has a website here.
Really, if he's not a father for the principles behind blogging, he's definitely the dirty uncle that showed that showed it porn and taught it about picking up girls.
Monday, October 13, 2003
KIll Chris
Dude I dug this movie something aweful. Every once in a while, I go watch a movie and think the guy is making it just for me. I had that feeling in this movie.
From the opening with the "Old Klingon Proverb" (which is not actually an old Klingon Proverb it comes from Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos (1741-1803). He originally said it in French in his 1782 book Les Liasons Dangereuses (translates to english- Dangerous Liasons))
To the Anime "origin story" of Lucy Lui's character
To the very cool homages to Spagetti westerns, old Kung Fu movies and even the Matrix (kinda...see picture above)
Plus its about Chicks who kick ass, which if you read my friendster entry is what i am all about.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sunday, October 12, 2003
Evil
I am sweating BBQ sauce from my pores. I think I am self-defeating. I ran 20 miles today. Then came home. Called up Dallas BBQ. Hello. Delivery please. Ribs and Chicken combo. Dark meat, please. Umm, I'll go with the fries. And a half order of Hot Wings. How long? Ok, cool. Thanks.
I also get corn bread with the order. The corn bread from Dallas BBQ rocks.
What now? Not sure. Passing out...
Friday, October 10, 2003
Evil
Being that I might be the only Asian around here, it's possible that no one else would find this amusing, but hey, I'm all about me. Check out this funny quote from a female pro golfer:
In the course of answering Kessler's questions about the LPGA's marketing problems, Stephenson said: "This is probably going to get me in trouble, but the Asians are killing our tour. Absolutely killing it. Their lack of emotion, their refusal to speak English when they can speak English. They rarely speak. (Full article.)
The lack of emotion part is especially funny because that's essentially Kentaro, aka The Machine, aka KenTak3. Woooo!
Monday, October 06, 2003
Wednesday I was at Bar of the Week with a bunch of classmates. Normally, I sit these things out because I would much rather, sit around, watch Angel and dwell on some classic thought (Kant, St. Augustine...you name it)
But I had run into a first year who was a friend of mine from before when we worked together. She claimed to have never gone to a BOW. I felt obligated to correct that so I dragged her along as I made my presence felt.
Immediately i gravitated towards the TV. Pedro was done after 135 pitches. Someone from New England looked at me judgingly and asked me where my alligences lay. I thought about it for a second...
Because I am a Mets fan
I hate the Yankees
Because I hate the Yankees
I like to see the Yankees loose.
There are lots of Yankee haters in Boston
I like rooting for Manny and Pedro for reasons I have never really figured out
I live in the East Bay about 5 minutes from where the As play
I am rooting for the Red Sox over the As?
Yeah I'm not sure why either. F****ing Yankees!
Generic East Bay Plan #1
My saturday drifted dangerously towards Swingers territory.
I was on a panel in the early morning so most of my day was shot. I spent a ridiculous amount of the afternoon drifting from my bed to the couch and back finding new ways to fall asleep. I managed to sleep thru most of A's vs Red Sox Game
(go sox?!?!?!)
Just as Trot Nixon hit the game winning homerun a friend of mine showed up. I never asked but I imagined his girlfriend was out of town and that's why he was coming through. He was kicking himself for coming between innings. i was kicking myself for sleeping through it . I was also trying to find some lucidity. He asked who hit it, looking at the screen I said "Mueller, no...Miller...Varitek?"
"Oh, Trot Nixon...huh?"
He, one of my roommates and I decided we would come up with a plan for the evening as I basked in the glow of a Red Sox win and wondered if Pedro would pitch again.
We ended up at Le Cheval for dinner and sat around and stared at two distinct groups of people. Since Le Cheval is upscale Vietnamese, its mostly upscale east bay asians. however, in the mix were a crowd of single, six ft tall white women. My roommate found it strange and sad, in a way that a table of 3 single upscale males eating dinner together is also strange. Additionally there was a couple there where a woman had her entire arm adorned with a huge elaborate tatoo.
After dinner we swung over the Lucky Lounge which at best looks like a swinging singles joint from the seventies and at worst looks like a dive with ratty couches.
Me in the 97 Jetta parked in between an A8 and a Lamborgini.
We walked in and stood around trying to attract attention.
Eventually the same two crowds of people that we had spied at Le Cheval showed up. Biker Chick and the Lonely Hearts Club invaded the Lucky Lounge to over pay for drinks and pretend they live in NY.
Was this the generic East Bay plan? Apparently...who knew...good thing i live close to the city.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
if you're like me you wonder what the hell you are doing watching Newlyweds Nick & Jessica when it comes on.
There is a pretty interesting article available here.
If you're not at all like me you probably aren't watching it and don't care.
Friday, October 03, 2003
Evil
Yo Manolo, whatup man? I thought you had love for me. What's going on?
Anyhoo... As most of you know, I'm planning to run the NYC Marathon, which is about a month from now. But did you also know that P. Diddy is also doing it? Yes, kiddies. Check out his website (not to mention the wack domain name).
Apparently, he's been training for... 3 weeks! I don't care WHAT Jimmy The Greek says. I better not finish behind anyone who's been training for only 3 weeks.
What else?
Hmmm... well, I just got back from Cambridge. Visited Sloan all day Tuesday and HBS all day Wednesday. Here's what I learned while visiting business schools:
1. The stupidest looking person at the info session always asks the stupidest question.
2. Someone who has been accused of being a bad driver and also having no direction sense really has no business driving around Boston.
3. Errr...
Okay fine. I didn't learn a lot. What do you want from me?
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