The Hose

Waiting

While we wait for one of the 3 NY based contributors to check in with a report from The City that Electricity Forgot (anyone?) I figured I would hold down the fort.

I arrived at my home in the Oakland Hills (tentativily titled "The Who Knew 2" House , The Real Gay World House? i dunno you decide) on sunday evening to find no one there. None of my 3 roommates were there and I had to break into the house. I ran around the outside till I found an open door and entered. At this point I realized that I was a 6'2'' Latino breaking into a 1.5 MM dollar home in the Oakland Hills looking incredibly hairy and very suspicious. Also, I was not sure this was actually the right house as I had been working on 6 hours sleep in the last 72 hours. Not Good. Not good at all. I sat down and sorted thru all the mail hoping to find one of my room mates stuff and calming down. No luck. Luckily I had the lease agreement in my bag and realized that Mr. Roos is the same Mr. Roos who signed the other part of this lease. I calmed down found a couch and passed out.

By tuesday night, i had moved most of my stuff into the house and was officially able to breathe. I sat down and caught up on some TV. After watching some Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, i finally got around to watching The O.C. which might be the best show on TV ever. The only real comparison to 90210 is that no one on the show (outside of Seth) looks like they are 25. Other than that, the show is clearly superior. Of course, at this point in my mind the only thing I remember about 90210 was the 7 season story arc about whether Donna and David would have sex and the secondary 3 season story arc where we were waiting for Val's head to stop growing. Anyway, loved The O.C. but watching that right after Queer Eye got me all stressed out:





The convergence of Peter Gallagher's out of controll eye brows after watching Kyan get all freaked out over some fat guy's back hair reminded me that I was in bad need of an EYE BROW WAXING.

Peter, buddy, you're on TV, your eye brows have been freaking me out since American Beauty, get something done.

Metrosexual move of the week
Wednesday, motivated and disturbed, I hopped down the hill to College Ave, got a hair cut and a waxing. While getting my waxing, I noticed that they had all sorts of Nickel brand men's grooming products at 40% off, i started doing doing my dainty dance, all excited about how my facial skin was going to come back after 3 months of neglect in Brazil. They were discontinuing carrying the line, but would be happy to special order stuff for me to pick up whenever I got waxed. i was all set! Yah! The women also shared where I, a man of class and distinction could go to buy men's grooming products without risking stigmatization from people who would not understand or accept. I nodded at them appreciatively and agreed to come back in a month's time. My whole life, coming together before my eyes! YAY!

At least till, I decided I would jog back up the hills to my place, which is about 2 miles away and at some substantial elevation. Woops. Boy did that suck, 90 degrees, running up hill, at NOON, with all sorts of loose hairs from a haircut and mildly irritated forehead from the eye brow waxing. There was question as to whether I would make it. I'm still not sure how i did, seeing as how I had to stop to scratch the itchy loose hairs everywhere. ILL

wow, sorry, i dont have a meaningful ending. whatever...