The Hose

Evil


The nice thing about summer is that you can buy peaches and plums on the cheap. There's a Pakistani guy up the street who mans a fruit stand on weekdays. I buy a crapload of peaches and plums from him and he'll usually throw in a mango or whatnot. That guy is cool. Peaches and plums are cool. But you know what's NOT cool? Those damn fruit flies.

I'm trying to get the fruit flies to leave my apartment and one of the things I'm doing is to not have any organic matter in the garbage cans. So I find myself sitting around, eating peaches and plums... but what to do with the pits? Well, I've recently developed the hobby of pelting pigeons with fruit pits. Hey, I'm no Doc Gooden, but it turns out that my arm isn't half bad. I might even try out for Little League next spring.

On an unrelated note, I'd like to point out that X-TIAN is applying a double standard to me vs. Gary Sheffield. Why does Gary Sheffield get a big WORD UP, whereas I got a decidedly negative reaction for saying the exact same thing just the day before:

EVIL: i look tooly in a dress shirt
EVIL: there's too much room around the collar
X-TIAN: why is that?
EVIL: i am temporarily under my normal weight
X-TIAN: oh
X-TIAN: why temporarily?
EVIL: my shirts have to accomodate for a 20 pound swing
EVIL: in the winter i'm around 180 pounds
EVIL: right now i am 162
EVIL: i sweat more in the summer
X-TIAN: thats pretty gross
EVIL: i guess
EVIL: i hope no one notices all this room around my collar
EVIL: it's embarrassing
EVIL: i am wearing a $95 but ill-fitting shirt
X-TIAN: nice