The Hose

Kicking it up a notch
Yo, due to popular demand, we are going to keep the blog going. However, I must admit, I think we need to kick it up a notch and bring some new blood into the blog. Over the next few days I will approaching certain charismatic individuals (such as yourselves) about posting from time to time. I think so far the blog has been a raging success, from our in depth sports to coverage to our anticipation of the current "cool gay stuff" fad. In honor of all that, I got a new feature "Metrosexual Move of the Week" and other stuff coming along the pike.

My flight back from Brazil is worth mentioning. My Itinerary went like this

8pm flight from Sao Paulo to Miami was delayed for two hours, so it departed at 10pm local time. My visa had expired so I had to sign all these form indicating I would pay some fine once I returned to the country. I laughed at the federal police officer and offered a calming "sure, whatever". In the Duty Free I picked up some cachasa, which was realy smart what with me carrying an 80lb backpack and a shopping bag full of souveniers.

5:30 local time. I arrive in Miami after watching Down with Love (booo) and Agent Cody Banks (yah!) My opinion on these movies is entirely dependant on my tolerance for the females in the film. I have not enjoyed a film Renee Zellweger has been in since Empire Records. On the other side, I thought Angie Harmon rocked. I finally understand why Jason Sehorn can't cover me on the football field anymore, he spends all his time staring at his wife. I know I would. But I digress, I got to Miami and was informed I had to clear customs and immigration and the department of agriculture and whatever else AFTER I claimed my baggage, and after all the processing I would again recheck my luggage. At every point, I was told that I need to run to make my connection to Orlando.

"I'm not telling you to run, but if I were you I would run. Where have you been?"

"waiting for my luggage."

"well hurry up"

"the plane was DELAYED. Its not like its me that sucking, the plane was two hours late"

"whatever"

"god damn right whatever...what?"

In orlando i met the parents and Bump who took me to breakfast, after making fun of me for two hours and then dropped me off again so I could go to HelL. A. because the Scooter was marrying his long time love, Cathy, in SB (congrats to those crazy kids, ALL the BEST BABY)

In the airport in Atlanta (don't ask) I stopped to use Laptop Lane and was immediately bombarded by Thai and others on the IM. before I jumped off I downloaded a bunch of taylor dane songs, I was delirious with exhaustion, but for some reason i was thinking of Taylor Dane, strange.

In the rental car ( a penis shaped silver Dodge Intrepid) on the 405, I nearly broke down crying. I was tired and for some reason it took me an hour to go 13 miles to get to the free way to SB (13? I dont remember).

I arrived to the rehearsal dinner at 8pm Pacific Time (after a quick check in/shower at the hotel) and somehow found a second (or a third wind). By 2 am, I was in a Special K with 5 other people buying booze to take back to my hotel to continue drinking.

By 8am saturday morning, I was re-enacting scenes from leaving Las Vegas, I woke up shaking and still more drunk than hung over surrounded by bottles and odd mixing ingredients (squirt? hawian punch? what?)

The wedding itself was outstanding, casual elegance is the best way to describe it. Definitely one of the niftiest weddings I have been too (aside from the classic Cheo wedding where I was also a groomsman and got to wear a top hat and had a cane that I could use to ditty bop with had I needed to. Shout out to Cheo) The couple looked smashing and the families represented themselves well by taking the microphone to share a few amusing annecdotes and make moving speeches. For myself, I did my part as groomsman and balanced out the height (all the bridesmaids were over 5' 11''!!!) and take up some space. I too, was elegant, if understated...and worked hard on not sweating, which is a lot more work than it seems.

Somehow after the wedding, we did a rinse repeat on the whole drinking in my hotel room pissing off the people next door. Around 4am we tried to get some cabs and encountered an annoying front desk receptionist. Dr T (of the infamous Crack Pack) amused himself by crank calling her for the next hour or so!

By Sunday I was on the plane back from LA to Oakland. I got to my new house (pics to be posted forthcoming) and had to break in to get in the house as no one was there.

this is a long entry. back later with more.