The Hose

My Train Ride is Too Short.

Back in my younger days, first job in NY. I used to have this horribly long train ride. I would have to walk like 15 minutes to the subway at 86th and Lex and then take the express all the way down to Broad St. It was crazy. The whole ride (if you count the then daily stoppage somewhere between 42 and 14th ST) could take up to 1.5 hours. Some days i would leave the apt at 7 and get to work at 9:10, when pressured from my manager I would raise my fists and defiantly scream out something like

"Damn you! Dr. DOOM!! DAMN YOU AND YOUR VILE TIME ADVANCEMENT RAY!"

And then i would be left alone fists still shaking violently as security loomed in the distance.

The upside of these disasterous rides is that I could pound through a book in a week. My old roommate, Sparkes, used to be shocked at the volume of reading I did. He would say things like

"Dude, between all the stalking, binging, purging and drinking, how do you have time to read?"

A fair question, and one I would only let a brother that I love, get away with. Pacey/The Bumpasaurus is another type of brother, i.e. the one i don't love and at best tolerate (HAH! Have mom beat that, bro!)

But now, I'm in a quandry. Still drinking, still stalking...but my subway ride is 15 minutes. I have been walking around with the same 1000 pg book for two weeks. My bag has a dent in it.

Someone please help!

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