The Hose

Evil

XTIAN FOR GOVERNOR!

American politics is as much about stories as it is about policies. Who remembers anything about George Washington's administration, except that he was the first President and oh, he also chopped down an apple tree but didn't lie about it. Abe Lincoln? Born in a log cabin and eventually became President. (There was also something about a Civil War, but accounts of that are sketchy.)

XTIAN has the kind of story that any political handler would give his left nut for: Chubby, big-headed kid grows up in the rough and tumble town of Perth Amboy. Overcomes ADHD in grade school and makes it into an Ivy League University. There, he overcomes narcalepsy and gets his degree. Some work in big time consulting, then gets a graduate degree in business on the West Coast.

And now... New Jersey's prodigal son has (triumphantly) returned!

XTIAN, your home state needs you. They are without a leader. The governor has deemed himself unfit for governing. The state is in chaos (or is it just usually like that in New Jersey?). New Jersey is calling and your grassroots followers want to know: are you going to report for duty?