People on Steroids for No Good Reason

This morning I went out for a run around Brooklyn - part of my 'don't be fat for your own wedding' fitness program. As I was running I started wondering what I would look like if I were really buff. I've never been really buff - and probably never will be, which is what made this the perfect sort of thing to pass the time thinking about while running.

Then I was reminded of the time a few months ago when KillerB2 and I went to a stand up comedy showcase in New York featuring funny alums of Wellesley (much funnier than the Mount Holyoke stand-up showcases we usually attend). Following the women of Wellesley on stage that night was former child star turned funnyman Danny Bonaduce. I happend to be sitting at the bar when he walked into the place. I thought I would pump him up by shouting some encouragement and giving a (mocking) high-five, which he gladly and enthusiastically returned. And it was then, as his little child star paw nearly tore my shoulder out of socket that I realized he was clearly on the juice. And I had no idea why. It certainly didn't make him funnier - just scarier really.

Which brings me back to this morning. I quickly surmized that a) I would look ridiculous if I were buff, and b) like, Danny Bonaduce, I have no reason to be buff.

And then I thought of Carrot Top, another funnyman with scary muscles. Whatever Bonaduce is on, Carrot Top must be taking 2 of.

There are obviously any number of athletes using steroids, but they at least have a reason (to cheat, and win), and action heros and wrestlers like Sly and Hulk have of course built their persona on them. But comedians? I don't get it. So for now I'm going to stay off the juice.

Have Hosers seen any other pointless juicing going on out there in the world? Or anyone you suspect? Putin, for example? That guy is ripped.