When I was very little, my parents used to tell me all the time “Dime con quién andas y te diré quién eres”. That literally translates to “tell me with whom you walk and I will tell you who you are.” I guess the best English version of this proverb would be “A man is known by the company he keeps.”
That is why I was super excited this weekend. Balls’ father (aka Balls Senior) emailed me about two weeks and told me he was going to be in Orlando for a week or so. I felt that this was a great opportunity to spend some quality time with Balls’ parents. I tend to have an excellent relationship with my buddies parents and strongly believe they would exchange their own son/daughter for a Manolo in heartbeat. I think the sole exception is Xtian’s Mom who never gave me a chance and thinks that I am gay and a probable drunkard...
Anyway, I leave the office on Saturday afternoon and get on the turnpike with my brother for the 4 hour car ride. At some junction, I started listening to a play list of punk rock songs that Xtian once helped me make back in 2000 for an Argentinean cocktail waitress from the local strip club.
We are minding our own business and “punking out” when an officer of the Florida Highway Patrol turns on his flashy lights and stops me for speeding. After lowering the volume on The Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated”, he asks me a series of innocuous questions such as are you carrying any drugs and do you have any weapons. He then proceeds to issue me a ticket for $210 for going 92 mph in a 65 mph zone. This is injustice at the highest level which I am going to fight tooth and nail...
Since this injustice perpetrated against me happened almost at the end of my trip, we made it to Orlando from Miami in 3 ½ hours as opposed to the 4 hours estimated by MapQuest. (Suck it MapQuest). I think I could have made it in 3 hours if it hadn’t been for the fact that I had to go the last 45 minutes at the posted speed limit (very embarrassing to have senior citizens in their Mercury honking their horns and shaking their fists at you). I also got lost once I actually got to Disney World (that place is huge)…
After all my travails, I eventually made it to Disney’s Boardwalk Villas where Balls’ parents were staying. We went to a nice dinner with the Epcot fireworks exploding in the background (very romantic). The next day we went to the Polynesian Resort where we spent a few glorious hours baking under the sun while sipping on piña coladas and racing our own personal speed boats. I actually had to go back and exchange my watercraft three times until I found one that allowed me to keep up more or less with Balls’ Mom whose boat was possessed and kept leaving everyone on her wake. Of course, the Disney Coast Guard didn’t think she was going too fast. They didn’t have a problem though stopping me and telling ME to SLOW DOWN…
After a few more hours of relaxation we went to Epcot to partake in the grand old tradition of “Drinking Around The World.” For those not familiar with the tradition, you start at one end of the World Showcase at Epcot (I usually start with France) and you order a drink. You are supposed to finish your drink by the next country in the showcase. Usually by the time you get to Mexico, you have had 6-7 drinks and have a nice buzz going and are ready for the food from the local cantina. We did make it to Mexico but it seemed to take a few more drinks than usual. It seemed that Epcot was having some sort of Food and Wine Festival which meant that they added like 25 countries…Of course, I didn’t know this until I was ¾ done with the world…one or two more countries and I could have been ranked on the same level as Alexander the Great or Ghengis Khan!!!
The next day I parted ways with Balls’ parents. My brother and I went to Universal Studios and then drove home. The parental units went to Discovery Cove (Sea World) to swim with the dolphins. A little birdie told me that it seems one of the dolphins was jealous of Ball’s mom and proceeded to drag her to the bottom of the lagoon before she finally let go…
Anyway, they are still wrecking havoc in Orlando…I wonder if Balls Senior has conquered the countries I failed to conquer (Blast you Poland, blast you!!!)
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Manolo Drinks Around The World
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Manolo Gets His Motorcycle License
A month ago or so I took a motorcycle course so I could get my license. After a jam-packed weekend of activities where it didn't stop raining, I can proudly tell you that I had a perfect score in the written test as well as my driving test.
After the class, they give you a little card that you can take to the DMV to replace your current license for another license which allows you to drive a motorcycle. After waiting in line for about an hour and a half and paying $15, I ended receiving the same license I had before except that it stated in very small letters (almost fine print) MOTORCYCLE ALSO.
Anyway, I will post some pictures of my first bike (probably won't happen for 2-3 months). In the meantime, I posted my graduation picture.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Whiskas and Cheese, Part Deux
Last Friday night after KenTak3 and I get back from a delightful meal of risotto from Risotteria in the West Village and rice pudding from Rice to Riches in Nolita, we are introduced to Stella.
Running around the apartment, not much smaller than Bruno with a REALLY long ---tail ---, she must have been looking for her boyfriend who, unfortunately, we took out a few months ago, if you recall.
This time, Stella ends up behind the refrigerator (where it's warm).
KenTak3: Let's just leave Stella and go to bed.
Mamacita: Where is she going to go?
KenTak3: We have two options: 1) we can try to catch her, or 2) we can just let her go. It's going to be a few hours until she comes out. What are we going to do... wait all night?
Mamacita: I hear what you are saying, KenTak3, but no soy interesante in 2).
Mamacita wins!
So, we try to trap Stella behind the fridge, by barricading it with textbooks so she can't run out from underneath. Smarter than we think, Stella scales the wall next to it and tries to climb over the books.
Needing more tools, KenTak3 distracts her with a flashlight, while I run out and get some sticky traps. (By the way, the Deli guy loves me at this point, and gives me 2 free sticky traps for every 10 that I buy!)
Back in the apartment, we follow the usual strategy of lining up the sticky traps around the fridge so when Stella scales the wall, and eventually falls to the ground... STICK!
Thirty seconds later, KenTak3 makes a Stella sandwich, and I am taking the bag of goods several blocks down the street.
I think we are going to get a cat now. This repeated hunt and gather strategy (with Bruno watching from the sidelines) does not work for me. But I have to give KenTak3 kudos for taking charge with the sandwich action...
Does anyone else have this problem? Also, will I be haunted later in life for using sticky traps - many consider these inhumane (not to mention ineffective) but they seem to be working and are less than $1 each!
Manolo Wants To Learn Magic
EDITOR'S NOTE: DO NOT PLAY AT WORK!!!
I thought this lady magician was amazing...How does she do it?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Manolo Meets The President
No, no, no! I am not talking about King George. I am talking about President Vicente Fox Quesada from the Republic of Mexico. You see, I was in a conference in Mexico City and President Fox was just a few feet from me. I don't know if it was because he is a lame-duck president, only in power for another month or two but for me it wasn't that big a deal. I wonder if I would have felt different if I was actually Mexican.
Before he left though, I was able to extract three places in Mexico that according to him are worth investing...He mentioned Puerto Peñasco in Sonora, La Pesca in Tamaulipas y Champotón in Campeche. He said new airports, miles and miles of new highways and thousands of new condos are being built. In the interests of full disclosure though, I asked him if he owned any property there...he was quickly whisked away by his staff.
One thing that always impresses me every time I am in Mexico is that Mexicans know how to party. Your perfunctory coffee break whether it was at 1:00 PM or 2:00 PM or 4:00 PM severely lacked coffee. Instead, participants were treated to tequila shots and salt-packed Margaritas. I just had to take the ice out of my margaritas to make sure I did not suffer from the Aztec Two-Step aka Montezuma's Revenge.
What else happened? I was there while the NY Yankees were playing the Detroit Tigers...I ended up watching most of the games in the hotel bar the whole time. It actually wasn't that bad because by the middle of my stay, every guest at the hotel knew who I was and by the end of game 4, everyone at the hotel was buying me tequila shots to ease my pain.
What a train wreck!! You know what, memories of their loss just flooded back. I got to go.....
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I've Got The Blues
Evil
... the furniture shopping blues, that is. Why is it so hard to find a couch that's not an ugly color and not an ugly style? Sheesh! I've seen at least 100 couches in about 6 different stores and nothing is working. Actually, a couple were nice, but they were way too big to fit through my apartment door. And I can't buy other furniture before finalizing on a couch, which even if I bought today, would probably take 6 - 8 weeks to manufacture and deliver. At this rate, I'll never have any furniture. Except for the huge bed of cedar shavings I keep in the corner of my room. Cedar is great. I just pee on it any time I want.
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