Creepy Photo Of The Day

Evil

OMG! Click through to see Cubbies legend and 'roiding cheater Sammy Sosa... as a WHITE guy! He's white now. Creeeepy.

The Hosecast Episode 15: DZB and Relationships

DZB, star of everyone's favorite "Ask xTian", stops by gives us a relationship update and preview the season finale of Mad Men

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Unhappy Alum

Evil

What's wrong with the Columbia Lions?! Columbia lost yet another conference matchup today, this time to Harvard. And it wasn't even close, 34-14. Columbia is currently 2-6 overall, with a 1-4 conference record. The only conference win they have is over the sissies over at Princeton. (Boy, what a drubbing it was too... Columbia stomped all over Princeton 38-0.) Can someone get the Columbia football program straighted out already? Calling Herm Edwards! Calling Herm Edwards!

Shocking Fact Of The Day

Evil

Learned this while listening to the NPR Science Friday podcast: Elite marathoners can outrun horses over the marathon distance! That seems shocking to me.

The reason why man can beat out horse: because to keep up with man, the horse has to go into a gallop. And over the marathon distance (26.2 miles) and time (a little over 2 hours), the horse cannot sustain this pace because it can't keep itself cool enough. Indeed, I did some Googling and came across the Man vs Horse Race. Although most of these races were won by horses, the distance was only 22 miles (instead of 26.2) and the human runners weren't truly elite marathoners. They ran the 22 miles in a slower time than the best marathoners would run a full 26.2. So I think in a full marathon with the best marathoners, humans would win by a comfortable margin.

Household Conversations

Evil

Hey glass pitcher that I bought for 30 RMB at the supermarket, you suck as a pitcher! How can you claim to be a pitcher, yet you dribble liquid -- from the spout, no less! -- every time I try to use you. Isn't your fundamental function to be able to pour liquid without dribbling? Don't just sit there and look hollow. Answer me. You are such a disappointment. You're the exact opposite of comforter.

Hey comforter, you rock. I am so glad I found you on sale for only 69 RMB at the supermarket. Not only is that an awesome price, you are an awesome comforter. Using a bedsheet to cover myself just wasn't cutting it anymore now that Shanghai is starting to turn ass cold. Can you talk to pitcher and straighten him out for me? I can't have half of my home-brewed ginger tea spilling to the floor every time I try to have a glass. I mean, half a glass.

temp roommate update

Evil

the temp roommate was misbehaving earlier this week, so i had to put him into solitary confinement for a bit. i think he realized that he had made me mad, so once he got out, he was extra meek. i was taking a leisurely afternoon nap on the couch. the temp roommate came over, plopped his sad face on my belly and soon after decided that he needed to nap too.

World Series Hero and True Yankee Hideki Matsui Lives Up To Amusing Japanese Stereotype

Journalistically irresponsible sports blog (TIME Magazine Asian Edition) profiled Hideki Matsui for its Asian Heroes series a few years ago and wrote the following in paragraph 10:

Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much. Says former reporter Isao Hirooka: "Hideki just wants to be like ordinary people."

Granted, I have known about this for several years but have not brought it up because really, who even is this guy? Right? Then he bats .900 against left handed pitchers and I decide this is worth rehashing...

My Hobby In An Alternate Universe

Evil

Wow! This guy sits in a moving boat and shoots fish jumping out of the water using a bow and arrow! That's some real skill. If I were a redneck, this would TOTALLY be my hobby of choice.

On a related note: The Hose Fishing Trip is on for Spring 2010. KillerB will be teaching all novice fishermen how it's done. See you in Lake George, NY!

World Champs!

Evil

Congrats to the New York Yankees! Hug away, guys! Hug like it doesn't even look gay! YAY! CHAMPS!

xTian Sighting

xTian showed up on someone else's sports podcast to talk WNBA, the Quiddich World Cup, centaurs and professional field hockey.

You can listen here.

Erotic Photo Of The Day

by popular request!!!

Should a Man This Fat Be My Governor?

NJ Gubernatorial Candidate Chris Christie shakes hands with voters before eating his young

More...
On my way to vote today in one of the elections that is a universal referendum on how people everywhere feel about our president (or not), I was accosted by a woman (possibly high on meth) in a green Chris Daggett shirt.

She asked if I was interested in learning more about Chris Daggett. I admitted I was, though not for the reason she thought. I had no intention on voting for him but earlier in the day I had said something to the effect of "Who even is this guy?" and felt uninformed. I don't like being uninformed. I have like one job as a citizen - vote for people I agree with, you do a little research and this is easy. Anyway, I tuned in for whatever she was banging on about.

She started by pointing out that I should trust no man as fat as Chris Christie. She pointed out that I should take this as a sign of his lack of self control. In addition being ludicrous she also made me nervous by her demeanor. She shrieked her thoughts as she bit on her thumb, and thrust her sign under her arm and used the other hand to address a running nose. She then looked at me and at took half a step back:

"I mean you're a big guy, but this man is OUT OF CONTROL". I reflected on how little self control I had as this woman blinked at me incessantly.

I asked about her view on Corzine. She blurted that incumbent John Corzine had had his chance and raised taxes and ruined everything for everyone everywhere. She then began screaming about her landlord and his personal relationship with Chris Daggett (whoever that is). I stayed engaged with her just so others could scoot by and vote but when the coast was clear I made a break for it. As I walked briskly, she yelled some more about how I should vote.

Inside, no one could find my registration and people stared at each other blankly until I started speaking Spanish. They a woman pulled out a provisional ballot and asked me to fill it out, seal it in the adjoining envelope and hand it back to her. I wonder if the tweaker had this hard a time voting...

I can't comment on whether Chris Christie being a fat f*ck (fact!) has anything to do with his self control but I will use the word "slovenly" to describe how he ran his content free campaign. His entire platform more or less added up to "vote for me! I'm not John Corzine! Who used to run Goldman! and is evil! and uses all your tax money to light cigars with his yuppie pals! in Hoboken! QED"

I hope he loses. Then I hope he takes left over campaign contributions and commissions a portrait of himself - half man- half elephant and hangs it over his bed.

Facebook Boo-Boos

Evil

Recently came across two Facebook-related "DOH!" moments. One is from a friend of mine and one was committed by yours truly.

From my friend's status message: [The new Facebook "suggestions" panel is creating alarming moments when friends who have passed away this year are presented as people I need to reconnect with.] Yikes, very sad!

And this one was from me:

One of my friends had posted a pic on his wall. The pic was of two super-buff body builder type dudes sitting on a beach towel. The were shirtless and their arms were around each other's waist. Way in the background of the pic was a stranger, also shirtless, showing his scrawny torso. I weighed in with the first comment: "That pipsqueak in the background needs to go pump some iron!!!"

The next time I log in (which is like 10 minutes later), I see like 8 notifications of people also commenting on his pic. But the comments were ALL something like, "Hey [C], sorry to hear about your loss" and "I'm so sorry, [C]. If you need to talk, I'm here."

WTF? I click on his profile to read his past status messages. And it turns out that one of the dudes in the photo was his ex-BF who had just died the previous day. So here I was making light of the photo while this guy is grieving.

But still! I mean, post a freakin' caption already. Don't just post a serious photo and leave it caption-less / context-less for ever a-hole on FB to comment on, right?

Bonus Photo Of The Day

Quickies

Evil

* At some point, someone stuck me with a counterfeit 50 RMB bill. I've been carrying it around in my wallet for weeks, afraid to use it. I finally offloaded it today while paying some odds-and-ends fees at the university!

* One of my neighbors is a mega douche. He always struts around with a scowl on his face. He think he's some tough guy. He lives at home with his mom and like 10 other relatives. All they do is argue all day long. And on top of that, they leave their door open most of the time so the sound can travel even better. (As if the walls in these cheap China apartments weren't paper-thin to begin with.) Yesterday, I actually visualized beating the shit out of this guy.

* Some people say, "People can't smell themselves." Well, that is not true because I'm pretty sure that my bedroom smells and it's because of me. Ever have one of those "war room" strategy sessions at work where they essentially lock 10 dudes up in a conference room til they figure out some grand plan? Think of how the conference room smells after a full day or two. That's what my bedroom smells like. What do I do? What do I do???

Photo Of The Day

If you guys want, I can also make the t-shirt version of this available on Cafe Press. Oh what the heck, I'll also make the thong version available. I know Manolo would want it that way.

Soon To Be World Series Hero and True Yankee ARod has his most Gay-Rodish Moment Yet

I read this 4 hours ago and can't stop laughing...

A Centaur? HAHAHAHAH

(i am totally going to copy this...)

What The F, Europe?

Evil

I do not know much about world history. In fact, I've only taken one history class and that was in high school and I slept through most of it. (Though to be fair, I think the teacher himself slept through most of it.)

I saw this headline in the NYT: "Europe Still Likes Obama, But Doubts Creep In"

The article is about how Europe is still not happy with Obama / The US in one way or another.

Can someone please explain to me what the F is wrong with the f'ing Euros? All they seem to do is bitch about one thing or another, while never stepping up to do the manly thing, like fight the war on terror. (Except for England. I think they've been OK.)

Mad Men Episode 12: The Grown Ups

Normally, watching people watch TV is decidedly un-compelling.

I know this. I recorded myself watching TV once and I could not imagine anything less interesting. This week, Mad Men decided to subject us to an hour of people watching TV.
More...Everyone is cold, then everyone is hot. The significance of this escapes me. Clearly, its significant. I think it was cold because that was most appropriate for the B plot of the week, where Campbell loses out in the head of accounts race to Ken. Then it suddenly gets very hot. Then Kennedy is shot in Dallas.

So, when you talk to people about the Kennedy assassination, they talk about Camelot and the loss of innocence. People have managed to turn into some larger statement about when America was great and suddenly started to grow up and become what it is now (something people sort of equate with something less than great).

Mad Men has, for the past three seasons, basically disagreed with this hypothesis. There was nothing particularly great or wonderful about late 50s/early 60s America. People were still the same self involved, petty weak people they are now. They were just better at hiding their flaws in a some sort of waspy, well mannered veneer.


I thought about this as I watched several characters on Mad Men use the Kennedy tragedy to their own ends. Jane uses it as a ploy to be a total brat at Roger's daughter's wedding. Betty uses it as an excuse to see the politician and build up the resolve to tell Don she no longer loves him. Duck uses it to bed Peggy. Roger uses it as another excuse to speak to Joan. Peggy's room mate used it as an excuse to host a party. Finally, and most demonstrably, Campbell uses it to turn Trudy against SterlingCooper.

So basically, none of them actually cared much about the Kennedy assassination at all. They just used it as a backdrop for their own pathology. Wild. People have been talking about how Weiner and Co. would handle the Kennedy assassination. I must say, I did not think it would be like this.

Of course, now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense. These small people, they get smaller every week.

Very demure lead in to a big season finale...will Betty leave Don? Will Peter leave SterlingCooper? Will Roger run to Joan? Will Peggy run to Duck? What about the Brits? What about...everything?

Sunday Morning Dancing

Read an article about Julian Casablanca's new album in the NY Times and decided to check the album out. Loved it, I figured between that, our recent conversation on Synth Pop and my recent obsession with Matt & Kim I would share this mix with you.

Wooo