On the heels of the stunning upset in Massachusetts U.S. Senate election tonight, Evil would like to get you up to speed on the new world order...
* Martha Coakley - Buh-bye! Fate is fickle, isn't it? You could'a been a player. But now we'll never hear from you again.
* Scott Brown - Your biggest achievement wasn't overcoming the huge imbalance of Democrats to Republicans in Massachusetts. No. I'm shocked you were able to overcome the fact that everyone knows your entire manhood can be covered by just your wrist alone. (Thanks to Evil Twin #1 for that observation.)
* Harry Reid - Incumbent backlash! You're outtie.
* Chuck Schumer - Even as a native New Yorker, I find you to be a pretty big douche. Nevertheless, you'll be the Senate Majority Leader Douche after Nevada voters kick Harry Reid to the curb.
* Michael Steele - People don't give you enough credit for your genius. Maybe because you're bald and bald people still suffer from undue discrimination in this country. You engineered the statehouse wins in NJ and VA. And now the Senate win in MA.
* Newt Gingrich - You're too evil to ever be elected President, but I see a VP run for you in 2012. You'll be the Dick Cheney to Sarah Palin's GW Bush. Who can stop a Palin/Gingrich '12 ticket?
* President Obama - CMON DUDE! You need to get your groove back.
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