Nicknames

Evil

I love nicknames. When I become King, my first decree will be that all in my kingdom shall have nicknames. Nicknames are just more fun. They're more secure too. For example, when I refer to "Manolo," the government doesn't have to know that I'm actually talking about Carlos Olivares, but you all know. That's the beauty of it. Nicknames are also practical and help to avoid confusion. For example, my friend The AY and I both have good friends named Chris. But we never say, "Chris." It's either "Big Head" or "The Seducer of Young Asian Girls," but never "Chris." See? Avoids confusion!

Recently, I've found myself giving nicknames to random people I encounter. You know, like the guy who stood next to me on the subway ride home today ("Fatty McFrenchFries") or the guy in the orange shirt who ran in front of me in the park ("Mr. Security Cone Man"). I don't know what this means or why it suddenly started to happen. I'll keep you all posted.